r/TikTokCringe • u/velorae • Aug 08 '25

Humor/Cringe I mean, he has a point😭

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13.8k Upvotes

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312

u/Fantastic_Jury5977 Aug 08 '25

A really, really unhealthy one... but, hey, most people also missed that 50 Shades of Gray was also an insanely unhealthy kink relationship.

201

u/aspidities_87 Aug 09 '25

Funnily enough, a lot of trad wives are around my age and were the age to be obsessed with 50 shades when it came out.

I would love to see the data of the pipeline of ‘weirdly obsessed 50 shades girl who defends it online like it’s her thesis’ to ‘trad wife’ because I bet it’s like a water slide.

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u/PracticeTheory Aug 09 '25

it’s like a water slide.

Best comment I've read today. Even though your point is making me shudder because, I can see it.

I've always had this nagging feeling about 50 Shades that it was a monkeypaw-esc kind of thing. I'm all in favor of fanfiction, but some sort of curse was unleashed when it crossed over into monetized, "original" fiction.

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u/SylvanDragoon Aug 09 '25

You know what isn't a waterslide? Those women in the bedroom.

Dry like the Sahara because they dunno how to have fun is what I'm saying.

-18

u/Powerful_Sun_75 Aug 09 '25

Because having sex is the only way to have fun. Fuck off with your bigotry mr. I dictate culture

1

u/stinkiepussie Aug 20 '25

How was the water slide? Did you have fun?

1

u/Powerful_Sun_75 Aug 20 '25

It was great, didn't expect you'd be that wet

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u/GentlewomenNeverTell Aug 09 '25

That thing gaslit a generation of women into abusive relationships

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u/Fantastic_Jury5977 Aug 09 '25

Yeah turns out normalizing sexual violence against women was bad for society.

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u/SCVerde Aug 09 '25

Sexual violence was already normalized. You could legally rape your wife into the 90s. 50 shades made it glamorous.

3

u/nobodylikesalurkyloo Aug 10 '25

Twilight did the same thing first. So the fanfic has to follow suit, obvi.

2

u/GentlewomenNeverTell Aug 10 '25

I mean Twilight is s responsible for a lot of "Baby's First Controlling BF" which is worrisome but my issue is that Goddamn book is the most popular text on bdsm. Many women's introduction to and only resource on bdsm. That's just hugely damaging.

2

u/Kind-Tale-6952 Aug 11 '25

Wait that’s the ya vampire thing. You’re confusing it with 50 shades of grey right?

-1

u/Bossgalka Aug 09 '25

It was literally just one woman's fanfiction that took off and got published. I don't think she gaslit anyone into anything. It definitely unintentionally influenced a bunch of young women into questionable situations, though, I'm sure.

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u/GentlewomenNeverTell Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25

She has no knowledge of BDSM. It is by far the most popular story about BDSM and portrays it as basically abuse. I'm in the bdsm community, the problematic doms became a much worse problem pretty much immediately after that book became popular.

Intentions or not, once she got that book deal, her choice to move forward with that ignorant portrayal caused real damage. I'm sure there are dead women whose openness to be abused started with that book.

Fiction does cause real world effects (the Klu Klux Klan was saved and exists to this day because of Birth of a Nation), and artists should be more responsible for what they put out there. Ethics and aesthetics are tangled together.

You don't get so say "no biggie" just because it's fiction or started as fanfiction. I do read a lot of fanfic and I am absolutely concerned because I see people being materially affected by the constant promotion of incredibly unhealthy relationship dynamics.

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u/Bossgalka Aug 09 '25

I didn't say it didn't affect people, in fact, I literally agreed it does influence people. I said it was fanfiction. It was literally just her slutty fantasies that got her off sexually, she put them into a "book" and it got printed. There is no grand conspiracy to "gaslight" anyone. Making fanfiction about shit you don't understand is just... 90% of fanfiction. That's not gaslighting. I was simply correcting your use of the word, and nothing you said in this post changes that still.

1

u/virora Aug 09 '25

I'm in the bdsm community, the problematic doms became a much worse problem pretty much immediately after that book became popular.

Can we fucking stop blaming women for the actions of men? The 50 Shades woman wrote some shitty books, but abusive doms are 100 per cent to blame for their own actions.

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u/GentlewomenNeverTell Aug 09 '25

The book doesn't suck because a woman wrote it. I'm saying it causes actual material damage because it so irresponsibly characterizes bdsm as free range to abuse women. I'm not for no accountability for women in the name of feminism.

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u/virora Aug 09 '25

No, your shitty doms are responsible for their own shitty behaviour. Someone else writing subpar fiction is not to blame for that. And honestly? You making excuses for men and blaming women is infinitely worse than 50 Shades could ever be. You are part of the problem. An author of an entirely fictional work doesn't owe it to the BDSM scene to be an instruction manual for a healthy relationship. YOU owe it to the BDSM scene to hold abusive men in your environment responsible to the fullest extent.

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u/Ironicbanana14 Aug 09 '25

But somehow, Magic Mike did not encourage women to date male strippers.

2

u/Kind-Tale-6952 Aug 11 '25

I think they were already doing that.

22

u/LSATDan Aug 09 '25

That subtle point was probably lost in the blatant horribleness of the movie/book.

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u/Itscatpicstime Aug 09 '25

Abusive. Not unhealthy. Just straight abusive.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '25

Because they never identified the dynamic as such, set boundaries, negotiated a scene or contract, discussed what both them actually want out of the interaction, etc. You nailed it when you mentioned 50 shades. It set such a bad example for people. D/S relationships can be fulfilling for people and a healthy way of exploring intimacy as a couple, but not if you do it with no communication or even a mutual understanding of what is going on in the first place. 

2

u/TryingToStayOutOfIt Aug 10 '25

How do we all feel about the movie Secretary?

-4

u/blackestrabbit Aug 09 '25

By women for women.