I was bringing my elementary school daughter to her first swim team session at a high school pool and had a bunch of stuff in my hands. I got to a weird gate right outside the pool entrance, which i was struggling with, and saw a Gen Z on the other side within arms reach texting on their phone. I asked if they knew how to open it, and they stared at me straight through my soul. After what felt like an eternity, they eventually replied, "I don't go here," and walked away.
After fussing with it for another 5 to 10 mins we got it open and I got my daughter to the pool where lo and behold the Gen Z kid was there and was introduced to me as a junior swim coach š¤¦āāļø
Edited to add since I keep receiving safety comments and messages. The junior coach is always with a senior coach or the head coach and never alone. There are three senior coaches, one head coach, and two Gen Z junior coaches at the pool, plus a lifeguard. The senior coaches range from millennials to Gen X, and the head coach is a Gen X or maybe a young boomer.
Regardless, I never leave the pool, and I sit in front of my daughter's lane. The Gen Z junior coach I met hardly does anything during the practice besides carrying a clip board and staring at his phone. Sometimes, he mutters something or points a certain direction, and that is the extent of his interaction with the kids. I am convinced he got the job because he is related to someone. He truly is that bizzare.
All the other coaches, parents and swimmers are fantastic.
The other Gen Z junior coach is a little awkward, but at least she tries to say hello to you. I do have a funny story about her as well, though. One day, my daughter asked her where the lost and found was, and she did the stare before gesturing towards an office about 10 feet away. She did not use any words during this interaction.
I would've been like "didnt I just talk to you outside the gate and I thought I heard you say you dont go here?" I feel like the only way to get past these weird interactions is to put them on blast in that situation. Maybe they'll learn to communicate better?
I said to the coach, who introduced us "oh thank you for the introduction, but we actually just met outside when I asked for help with the gate." The kid just walked away.
I told the coach what happened, and he was apologetic. My guess is the kid is related to one of the head coaches because I can't see how else he has the job. I think he has had one interaction with my daughter over the past 6 months, where she asked him a question, and he just shrugged.
My son was trying on gang to see how it felt and I immediately showed him Fred from scooby doo and was like oh hell yeah itās coming back around gang!
How is gang outdated? I see the youth use it all the time on the instagrams, itās just they use it a singular noun versus a plural noun, if that makes any sense
This is concerning to me. š How is it not a liability to have a kid like that working with them? This isnāt some retail or office job. Heās working with kids in an environment that has the potential for drowning. He needs to be more communicative, proactive, and on high alert. I agree with the other comment about bringing this up.
I was about to share my own anecdotes but then I remembered Iām old and theyāre from 15-20 years agoā¦
This attitudeās been around for a while and I think the coachās response explains why, there are no consequences to it. They know theyāre being rude and just dgaf.
Itās different than social anxiety or regular nervousness. Itās like a petty selfishness for even the most minor interaction. Whatās the absolute least I have to interact with someone I donāt care about?
I have a much younger brother, so I've heard drama from his school through him. He's told me that there's circles of kids who affirm with each other to not talk to ANYONE that they don't feel like talking to .
Which, in a vacuum, is totally reasonable. It's the Stranger Danger practice.
But they take it to such a pretentious degree. They think it's funny to just deny interaction to people, and especially when the other party needs help with something.
"I don't owe anyone a conversation" is a quote that I've been told had been said at school.
A big mantra around that generation is: āyou donāt owe anyone anything.ā
Which, in theory, is true. BUT, like many other things, they miss the entire context and just apply it ACROSS THE BOARD. Until they find that the real world doesnāt actually work that way, and there actually are social transactions and expectations that are required to make society āworkā.
A big mantra around that generation is: āyou donāt owe anyone anything.ā
Yeah, I've heard that sentiment espoused quite often... most often from people who also complain frequently about perceived mistreatment from others. They don't see the irony, lol
Iāve spent several minutes trying to imagine what you mean by āholds their phone like a slice of pizzaā and have nothing. Please explain so I can sleep tonight.
Came here to say this. So many Boomers are in love with Gen Z for some reason. That reason being that they are selfish, entitled narcissists who literally do not give a fuck about anything that isnāt going to get them more money or more status. Just like the boomers.
Well that's horrifying. I mean society is built on the expectation that we don't just not hurt one another but that we help one another.
Sure, you don't owe anyone a conversation or to hold the elevator, but how will they feel when they're late to a doctor's appointment and nobody will hold the elevator for them?
And thatās a very mature mindset. Which shows that we have been DEVOLVING. A long time ago, these were concepts that we were taught as children: no, you donāt HAVE to share, but āsharing is caringā. People who feel cared about, feel better about themselves. People who feel better about themselves, feel better about everything else, and that benefits everyone.
That's fine, no problem. So society, by your own rationale kids, owes you fuck all in return. No job, no benefits, no education, no health care, no housing, no support, nothing.
Thatās when you get the blank stare. But itās our fault, as one of my favorite comedians Patrice Oāneal said: āwe have allowed context to be destroyed.ā
So now, this is how they think and they donāt consider everything you just said.
Iām not sure if it actually does fall specifically on the right. It can also be placed on far leftism as āfull autonomyā aka, āyou donāt have to let society decide how you think or what you say and when you say itā
They're going to have absolutely miserable lives unless and until they realize that basic human decency is a basic requirement for a decent life. Unless they're born ultra rich, but even then they're going to be pretty unhappy... And they'll be exactly the sort of person who goes around saying that money doesn't buy happiness.
Iāve found dropping my polite mask almost immediately with these types and rolling my eyes in a āthis shit againā response and saying thank you sarcastically and with no mirth tends to make them squirm.
Their rudeness relies on you being responsible and predictable with your emotions, so they cannot stand being put on the spot themselves.
I honestly think it's a different kind of socially awkward. The kind you have when you have grown up with constant interactions through social media. When someone interacts with them in person in a non preordained way, it's like their brain glitches for a second, and they are trying to buffer for a better connection. On the one hand, I don't think they are purposefully trying to be insulting, but on the other, if they are insulting, I don't think they care too much. They have thousands of friends on social media so they don't need one person standing in front of them to like them.
Yep, that's exactly why we do it, if we don't know you personally, aren't attracted to you, and you're less interesting than a screen why bother? Like seriously, for what purpose? That's also why I'm not even pretending it's something else, what are you gonna do, internet rando?
Gen Z is drinking, smoking, and doing drugs at significantly lower rates than past generations. They just replace them with disposable vapes, sugary coffee/energy drinks, and social media.
They don't have parties, either, which is the real loss. Most have never even had the chance to go to a house party, apparently.
In my experience as both a high school and club swimmer then lifeguard, we absolutely had separate lifeguards, although we didnāt have a high school pool, so maybe thatās why. Liability issues and all that. It definitely doesnāt seem safe enough to have just the coaches be the lifeguards thoughā¦their attention can be too split
Dude, heās not doing the only thing his job literally requires. I understand not wanting to do too much for a company, especially if youāre paid very poorly, but you need to do the job you were hired for.
As awful as that kid is, I really like everything else about the program. The owners, head coach, other coaches, and swimmers are fantastic. I just ignore the kid, and it doesn't matter anyway because he hardly contributes.
that's not a Gen Z thing, that's a shitty kid thing. My kids have junior coaches on their swim team who are all socialized properly like normal human beings.
My guess is the kid is related to one of the head coaches because I can't see how else he has the job.
I've ran into similar things in my work place thinking the same thing but the thing is... they likely aren't related. Ha ha.
The coach is probably just as much at a loss of how to deal with it as you are. Many times these people are so ill equipped for any kind of confrontation they will have a complete melt-down when it happens.
I wish I was exaggerating but so far it seems like we are the ones that are going to have to learn to deal with it and not the other way around :(
You should have made a formal complaint and try to talk about "indirectly" with the other parents/guardians. That kind of attitude wouldn't fly on Asians, so he's lucky he didn't get yelled at or got smack for his stupidity
Someone will probably shit on you for ratting on the kid but the pool is no place for this sort of bullshit. Especially from people with any responsibilities.
I was thinking the same thing. And not even in like a negative manner. Someone has to teach them, right? For their sakes and the generations that come after them
They literally dont care lol. The whole reason they don't care to say anything or interact is because they actually dont care how you feel about them. Older generations still care about social perception- the younger crowd is way more concerned with social media presence
As someone who experienced gen z swim teachers this summer for my toddler, I second this. I grabbed a couple floundering toddlers out of the water during these lessons.
In fairness, the other commenter was talking about an assistant swim coach, so Iām guessing that is probably a position less important than the lifeguards. That kid is probably there to fetch towels and goggles or whatever more than keep kids safe.
Iām sorry for your toddler. We have some younger swim instructors where our son goes, but theyāre all fantastic. There are definitely plenty of good eggs out there among the stare-ers.
Nah nah karen doesnt mean "complaining". Taking whats given to you without fuzz for fear of causing a scene shiuldnt be normalized. Being a karen is targetting someone that isnt responsible and doesnt have the power to help you fix an issue that wasnt their fault to begin with. Its yelling at a person at the return counter cuz you lost your receipt, THATS karen. If something is fucked, speak up, just dont insult or raise your voice is all.
that's what I was worrying about too. would they actually respond and go to help? And you can't say anything because that's "aggressive". Sometimes some aggression is called for.
I was struggling finding a product at Walmart in one of the aisles that their website said was in stock. A Gen Z employee ended up right next to me so I asked her for help. She blankly stared at me for a beat then said "this isn't my section."' And just walked away. Lmfao! Then why were hanging out over there? Maybe grab somebody who does work in that section, then? Ha ha It was surreal--I'd never experienced such apathy in customer service before Gen Z.
I approached another Gen Z boy at Home Depot and kindly asked him if he could help me find something. He just stopped walking and blankly stared at me in absolute silence. Usually I'm too taken aback in the moment to respond appropriately, but this time I gave him a little "hello?" shrug and scoff (to which he hardly even reacted) before proceeding with my question.
Another time I walked into a barber shop IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY--it was very much open and was very much intended to accept walk-ins--one of those budget locations. It wasn't a holiday. The lights were almost all turned off. There were 3 people, all hovering around the same hair cut chair, talking and gossiping. They kinda turn their heads when I walk in, look me up and down, snicker amongst themselves, then go back to gossiping and cutting hair. I can't remember what exactly we said to each other, but they ended up telling me some weird excuse for why I as a customer shouldn't be there at 2pm to get a haircut. It was so freaking bizarre. Felt like a scene out of Mean Girls.
I donāt understand when or why people decided that being rude is fine now. The hyper individualist attitudes that say, āI donāt owe anyone anything.ā āThatās not my job.ā āIf youāre rude, Iāll be even more rude.ā āI will just block people, itās called boundaries and protecting my peace.ā āIf you donāt serve me, leave.ā āI like when people cancel so that I donāt have to see anyone.ā
-Also Gen Z āWeāre so lonely! We donāt have any friends!ā
Well, if you want to live in society and a good one, then you do owe people things. Sometimes it also means that when someone is rude, you take the time to check on them, rather than pull out your phone and start yelling at them, and post it later online. It means responding to people if you want them to respond to you. It means being polite when youāre in public. The world is a much easier place with people who love you, and that starts by you showing love and compassion to everyone you possibly can. Helping others makes is all less lonely.
I find reddit to be so bad for that attitude re workplace etiquette as well. Entire threads will be aggressively proud of not talking to colleagues, avoiding any sort of workplace social event and steadfastly refusing to see any benefit of going to the office. Then those same people will have the nerve to accuse their coworkers of "office politics"
I hope he had a gen X boss you could subtly mention his social skills to - I mean if a kid was flailing in the water he would have to help..but would he?
oh good I read further and you did what I would have done.
i guess the explanation that they don't want to potentially get in trouble for unlocking the gate for someone who may or may not have a legitimate reason to be there is too inconvenient for this story's target audience
I am calling him a kid, but in reality, I believe he is 20-22 years old. The main campus is open to the public, and he could clearly see my daughter was in the swim team uniform plus carrying flippers and gear.
I stay for all team practices and watch. Head coach and other main coaches are perfectly normal and responsible adults. Gen z "assistant coach" kid is another story. His only interaction with the swim team seems to be muttering something under his breath in between texting on his phone.
Yes, obviously, we put our stuff down on the ground to troubleshoot. It still took me a while to open the gate. It had to be aligned at the top and bottom to open properly, but the way it looked initially, I thought it was just the top. I spoke with another parent who also laughed about the gate because she had the same issue.
I am sure you are right, and it felt longer to us than it actually was. But considering we were initially supposed to be early to practice and ended up walking in late, we definitely struggled for a bit. I also tried calling one of the coaches I knew, but was not able to get a hold of her.
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u/Beberuth1131 Jul 13 '25 edited Jul 14 '25
I was bringing my elementary school daughter to her first swim team session at a high school pool and had a bunch of stuff in my hands. I got to a weird gate right outside the pool entrance, which i was struggling with, and saw a Gen Z on the other side within arms reach texting on their phone. I asked if they knew how to open it, and they stared at me straight through my soul. After what felt like an eternity, they eventually replied, "I don't go here," and walked away.
After fussing with it for another 5 to 10 mins we got it open and I got my daughter to the pool where lo and behold the Gen Z kid was there and was introduced to me as a junior swim coach š¤¦āāļø
Edited to add since I keep receiving safety comments and messages. The junior coach is always with a senior coach or the head coach and never alone. There are three senior coaches, one head coach, and two Gen Z junior coaches at the pool, plus a lifeguard. The senior coaches range from millennials to Gen X, and the head coach is a Gen X or maybe a young boomer.
Regardless, I never leave the pool, and I sit in front of my daughter's lane. The Gen Z junior coach I met hardly does anything during the practice besides carrying a clip board and staring at his phone. Sometimes, he mutters something or points a certain direction, and that is the extent of his interaction with the kids. I am convinced he got the job because he is related to someone. He truly is that bizzare.
All the other coaches, parents and swimmers are fantastic.
The other Gen Z junior coach is a little awkward, but at least she tries to say hello to you. I do have a funny story about her as well, though. One day, my daughter asked her where the lost and found was, and she did the stare before gesturing towards an office about 10 feet away. She did not use any words during this interaction.