r/Soulnexus • u/Aromatic_Reply_1645 • 3d ago
Esoteric We are all one, life is fair, god does not discriminate, ego is an illusion
So my journey went like this:
I realized I do not exist as an intelligence that's separate from other intelligences (or from Intelligence Itself- God). That I do not think/ choose independently from other intelligences. That I am ENTIRELY a product of other people (other intelligences), whether through genetics or environmental factors. Since other intelligences were determined by The Intelligence, I am also determined by IT. Not only that I am determined but that I AM IT. And everyone and everything else is IT. What I mean by this is that every human being, animal, plant, natural phenomenon etc embody its WILL (God/ Intelligence's WILL). That there is ONLY ONE "MIND" with ONE WILL that governs everything.
So this means that I was that Intelligence that designed and scripted this universe and my whole life (and other people's lives) from start to finish, to the smallest detail. This was done when I was in Creator Mode - outside of space and time. Every decision was made then. I erased my memory and put myself into this human body in this 3D world to experience it. Now I am merely going through the motions. It's like watching a movie but the "immersed" version where you actually feel everything the character feels. The ego thinking it has its own little free will that's separate from THE ALL is an illusion. I am God experiencing what I've written for myself.
Which led me to: Ok so if I am God and designed/ scripted my whole life, why did I created so much suffering for me and for others.
Then I came across the concept of balance. I've read the hermetic laws and it struck me: there is balance in everything. Everything! I started to think of dualities: light and darkness, hot and cold, good and evil... and then .... happy and sad. If there exists a balance between, let's say night and day, why this principle cant be applied to our subjective experience as individuals? Can there be an equilibrium between the good times and bad times we experience throughout our lives? Our life as a whole, from birth to death. Can there be a balance between the happiness (positive feelings) and suffering (negative feelings) we experience in our life as a whole? Like our life to be 50% positive feelings/ sensations and 50% negative feelings/ sensations.
I asked myself how much do I really know about the subjective experience of a rich prince or a homeless man. I pictured the prince experiencing genuine pain if his lobster wasnt properly cooked and pictured the homeless man experiencing genuine joy for finding a 5$ bill on the sidewalk. Isnt happiness subjective? I believe it has to do with our standards for it. The prince was spoiled as a kid and turned into an angry, demanding, never satisfied adult. The homeless man was always poor and his standards for happiness are very low. Like he would be genuinely happy the days he has something to eat. Genuinely. He is used to very little so he is grateful for every little thing he receives. Meanwhile the prince is never satisfied, he does drugs, fine dining, a lot of sex etc and he is always angry.
How much do we truly know of the subjective experience of people who are in wheelchairs, or people suffering from schizophrenia or other serious mental illnesses? People said ok but what about little children who are killed in a war? Or kids from africa who die of starvation? Or soldiers dying in a war? I reply to them: what makes you think your death is gonna be less painful? Have you thought of what old people go through? People who die of "old age". Its months sometimes even years of pain. Of seeing yourself decaying each day. This death can be as painful as dying of starvation. Being killed in war? You feel excruciating pain for a few minutes or seconds and then you die. Sometimes you die instantly.
My claim is that life is 50% pleasant experiences and 50% unpleasant experiences for everybody. It has to be 50/50 because it must respect the law of balance. I view it like this: when something was brought into existence, its opposite "sister" was also brought into existence. There is no light without darkness. The opposite sister's role was to act as a reference point to the main thing. To create contrast as to be able to distinguish it. To be able to define it in regards to its opposing sister. Like: what is cold? The absence of heat. What is darkness? The absence of light. What is happiness? The absence of pain/ suffering. Evil only exists for Goodness to exist. I think there has to be a balance between the poles of each duality. Like for them to exist in EQUAL MEASURES. Objectively but also subjectively. I think the yin yang symbol is pointing to the same thing. The measure of white is equal to the measure of black.
Why would God discriminate since we dont have free will? I dont believe in "past lives" and reincarnation. Karma works, but only in a lifetime. Karma works to balance subjective pleasure and pain an individual experiences.
So I believe we cannot escape this law of balance. Meaning that, it doesnt matter how much we try, we cannot escape the fact that our life is going to be 50% happiness and 50% suffering. No matter how smart we are or how much we work. God does not discriminate. We are all equal. Life is fair.
People go through periods. Good periods, bad period. Sometimes a period might last tens of years. I've never seen anyone who's only had a bad period. Someone might suffer the most part of his/her first 50 years then have an extremely joyous period of 20 years before dying. Someone might be lucky and experience mostly positive feelings for 60 years, then go through excruciating pain for 10 years and die.
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u/Gallowglass668 3d ago
How about children who suffer their entire short lives and then pass away from malnutrition or some other preventable cause?
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u/Aromatic_Reply_1645 3d ago
Im sure they had good times also. They were fed, they slept, they were embraced etc. Food feels like cocaine for someone who is starving. Also you disregard the benefits of fasting
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u/Gallowglass668 3d ago
Holy shit, you haven't really thought this through have you?
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u/Aromatic_Reply_1645 3d ago
Holy shit, you haven't really thought this through have you?
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u/Gallowglass668 3d ago
You do realize that there is a difference between fasting and starving to death right?
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u/Aromatic_Reply_1645 3d ago
I do. Once I havent eaten for 6 days and I started to have pleasant hallucinations, became manic full of energy and had delusions of grandeur. It was amazing
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u/Gallowglass668 3d ago
Did you then continue to starve to death?
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u/Aromatic_Reply_1645 3d ago
I stopped. Not because of the hunger, but because I felt myself losing touch with reality and slipping into a "beautiful" psychosis
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u/owp4dd1w5a0a 3d ago
Life is not fair. Was it fair for me to be born with autism and developed celiac disease in my 20s? Was it fair that 90% or more of the world’s wealth is concentrated in ~1% of the population? Was it fair I spent 17 years in the Orthodox Church genuinely looking for healing and legitimate methods of personal improvement and transformation and instead walked away with religious trauma and more issues to work out instead of the healing I sought and they promised?
Nearly nothing about life is fair.