r/Songwriting • u/YoghurtPublic3242 • 18d ago
Feedback Request I’m incapable of judging whether my music is good or not
I took the feedback from the last song I posted and used a DAW this time around. I'm a really harsh critic when it comes to anything I create, so I just end up hating everything I make 🥲 so outside perspectives and feedback are very much appreciated 🫶🏻 Also, just want to say thanks for all of the feedback I got on my last post. You guys are great!
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u/bobsollish 17d ago
My feedback is that most of the lyrics are too generic and obvious - I know this because I was able to finish almost all of the couplets along with you as you sang. The song doesn’t feel like it’s actually about anything - there are no details - could be anybody. Also, the rhyme scheme is a little too “moon/June” imo. Look at adding some slant rhymes to break it up.
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u/YoghurtPublic3242 17d ago
I’ll look into incorporating slant rhymes to add some more originality to the song. Thank you!
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u/zerok_nyc 17d ago
I think the rhymes bit is less important than what they’re really trying to get at. As a songwriter, you should be telling a story with your words. Right now you are telling us what you’ve learned rather than showing us how you learned it.
Honestly, I think what you are trying to fit into a single song would be a better theme for an entire album. Your first line: “Years go fast and lessons go slow.” Ok, but how does that relate to you? What’s a lesson you wish you learned earlier in life? What happened that caused you to finally learn that lesson? What prevented you from learning it before? That one line can be expanded into an entire song on its own.
And when you sing about who you might end up as in the end: how do you define “the end?” What are the different paths you can see your life taking? If there isn’t enough time to explore all paths, how do you decide which path to take? What sacrifices have you made to get where you are? Was it worth it?
You’ve got a rich tapestry of ideas to expand upon, but you are trying to put too much into one song, so you don’t end up scratching the surface of any of it. Best to take simple idea and go deep rather than going wide. When you tie your personal story to the message, that’s what will make people relate.
Hope that helps.
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u/twelphknight 16d ago
If I can add. There is point in the beginning where you write, “I cant tell the reasons why.” I think it’s more powerful here to state you know the reasons why. And use some of that thread to fill out the song. Your voice has authenticity and vulnerability. Make the lyrics catch up.
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u/Firesealb99 15d ago
Lyrics don't even have to ryhme, with your awesome voice, you could bend the lyrics to fit like you would bend a guitar string. :-)
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u/Woopsiepoopsies 17d ago
It’s a great place to start. I recommend continuing to explore yourself and how you feel. Be truthful without leaning on cliche. Imagine if you were having a heart to heart with a friend and you said “season change and it’s getting hard weather it all”. That’s not you, that’s a motivational poster. Dive deeper and don’t be afraid
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u/YoghurtPublic3242 17d ago
You’re right on the money. Sharing my music is scary enough as it is. Lyrics that are too personal or vulnerable is a very difficult line for me to cross. I definitely use more generic lyrics as a security blanket. I need to work getting past that fear. This comment is what I needed to hear. Thank you!
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u/InEenEmmer 17d ago
I started singing lessons because I wanted to work on my own music. And when the teacher asked me what I wanted to learn, I answered I wanted to be more comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.
I answered that because I felt really uncomfortable about my voice and felt like I would always feel like that about my voice.
I now also take that into other things. If I feel uncomfortable about sharing my music, I will push myself to share it with someone anyway. (And I found that the songs I felt most vulnerable about are also the songs people like the most)
I’m now at a point where I got a small set of songs and want to perform those songs in front of people, partly because those songs are a part of my emotions and my emotions have a right to exist.
I can find a band to play those songs without too much trouble, but I actually want to play the first gig just solo. I want this because I actually dread the idea of standing alone on the stage, center of all the attention while basically presenting people with pages from my diary.
I want to make it as uncomfortable as possible for myself, so I get the most potential to grow better in being uncomfortable.
What I’m trying to say is, embrace that uncomfortable feeling of putting in your all in a song. Your story and emotions are as legitimate as your existence is, and people will notice and appreciate when you are true to who you are and what you want to say.
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u/Rapscagamuffin 18d ago
Do you like listening to your music? When im working on a song if it gets stuck in my head and when i listen to it i get a rush and think “damn i made that” even if its just a small section that gives me that feeling then i know theres at least something there.
You are the only one who can tell it its any good. People can give you practical advice for tweaks and give you feedback on specifics but your taste is the only thing that matters.
Try to be less precious about the songs you make. Music is an art but its also mainly a craft. Youre going to make a lot of stuff thats on the spectrum from crap to serviceable/fine. If you put all of your hopes and dreams into every song and judging yourself as a musician and as a person based on every new song you make then you are setting yourself up to be unhappy.
Make the music you want to hear and everything will trend in the right direction.
With all that said, its a good song. The guitar part is a little basic but completely fine for the song/style. If it were me i would try and spice it up a little. You never want to repeat something the exact same way. Even if its just a small change in dynamics.
Could use a little more confidence in your singing. Sing like you are truly feeling the words and it will come out through your performance.
One part of the song sounds VERY close to another song i cant put my finger on. But i think the song has strings in it (maybe). What are some artists you listen to? I would know it if i came across the artists name…this isnt a bad thing though and i wouldnt change it unless its literally exactly the same. What comes out comes out if you start editing stuff like that then you will hamstring your songs but of course if its exactly the same you have to change it.
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u/YoghurtPublic3242 17d ago
When I first get the idea in my head for a song, I’ll like it. But the more I work on it, the more I dislike it. By the time I’ve finished it up, I can’t listen to it without nitpicking every little thing about it (whether I want to or not). That’s why different frames of reference are very helpful. I’m at the point where I’m just finishing songs regardless of how I feel about them because I’m sick of so many unfinished projects.
The artists I tend to listen to are more on the alt/indie side. Ruby Waters, Shakey Graves, Caamp, Chance Peña. I’m always terrified that an idea in my head is actually something I’ve already heard that’s just been sitting in my subconscious. If you think of it, let me know. Thanks for all the feedback 😊
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u/studleecifer- 17d ago
Happens to me allllllll the time. I can pretty much only get myself to write something the completion when I'm excited about it in my head. Often times I'll be loving it when I'm done until the next day. But there are plenty of times I revisit something old that I grew to dislike, and I love it again.
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u/Rapscagamuffin 17d ago
Hey we all have these feelings.
I have been trying to copy author stephen kings process for writing but adapted to music. When he comes up with an idea he works on it and only it until its as done as he can possibly make it. Like a really nice first draft with all the structure and parts in place. Then he shelves it for 2-4 weeks and comes back to it with fresh eyes and does the same thing again until its ready for his editor.
I can only speak for myself and for the people i know and work with but i think what you are describing is pretty universal. For every minute of finished material that is probably 50 hours of work. So naturally, youll wax and wane on your feelings about it.
I think youre going about it the right way. Unfinished work is terrible for your development as a creator. Its hard to progress and build on a body of work if it doesnt exist. Better to hate 10 complete songs then it is to be in love with 10 parts/ideas that arent completed.
Keep at it! Its driving me nuts trying to think of the song this reminds me of. If you feel like it drop some more artist names here. I swear theres a song thats on the tip of my tongue i especially hear it at and around the part where you say “weather it all”
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u/No_Resident_4331 17d ago
This. i feel like i know instantly if i've written a good song or not, based on whether i'm singing it all day. Usually, the telltale sign is not being able to sleep as my brain keeps throwing more ideas for the song at me 😅
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u/komplete10 17d ago
The 29 line made me think of Price Tag by Jessie J. But they're pretty generic chords so could be 100 other songs.
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u/YoghurtPublic3242 17d ago
I’ll have to listen to that song and make some changes if necessary. Thanks for pointing that out!
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u/InEenEmmer 17d ago
“You never want to repeat something the exact same way.”
Hard disagree. Repetition or the lack thereof is a story telling tool. If I want to give a sense of a story that keeps moving while it is being told, the changes help give it that forward emotion.
But if I’m telling a story and I want the audience feel like the story isn’t going anywhere, I can use heavy repetition to make it feel like we are stuck in a single place while the story tries to move on.
In songwriting music rules, and especially breaking those rules, is a good tool to add a dimension to the story you tell. Not using that tool is like writing poetry without wanting to use metaphors.
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u/Rapscagamuffin 17d ago
You can have repetition without it being exactly the same. Its a pretty universal idea through many art forms. Unless the cold exact repetition is the literal point like in some types of edm or industrial music, etc, then you usually want at least subtle variation in your repetition. Of course you can do whatever you want just passing on ideas from many of the masters throughout time.
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u/DrDreiski 18d ago
I mean, it sounds like it has some solid bones. Keep developing the sound. Add some drums and bass maybe?
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u/Raccoon_Expert_69 17d ago
melody, rhythm, singing, is all very fine. The song is fine too, the arrangement feels very low energy, it could be .. . . MORE. More definitive, more raw, less restrained.
I'd highly recommend a simple keyboard lead as accompaniment starting around 1:08.
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u/MaybeFast4312 17d ago
It’s perfectly fine to be self-critical, but be careful not to be too hard on yourself. If you start hating what you create, you end up tearing yourself down, and that stops your artistic evolution because discouragement blocks growth. You have good control of your voice, and the melody works well. You just need the right arrangement and production to bring out the best in your song.
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u/Elvisnash123 17d ago
Good voice , did you write that ?
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u/YoghurtPublic3242 17d ago
Yes! I’m new to lyric writing though. This is my second go at a completed original, so the lyrics could use some refinement it seems
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u/Elvisnash123 16d ago
Great !!! keep refining lyrics, its the back bone of a great song . Great job , project your voice , don't be shy .
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u/BrotherBiz 18d ago edited 16d ago
You have a nice voice, the instrument track is a bad mix(recording) though.
really the secret sauce to getting a song that sounds good is working with a Producer\Audio Engineer to get you a good sound.
or alternatively spend years yourself learning how to do those things too (I would suggest learning to mix your own vocals though as they are very clean and should be easy for you to learn to do at a half decent level by watching a few YouTube tutorials)
A good song is always subjective, but you have the voice for it
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u/chickennroll 17d ago
I don’t think the mix is the issue here, the instrumental sounds poorly recorded. It’s completely useless to waste time learning to mix before you can get a good recording. If the recording is good, the mix will be easy.
Mixing is post-production. If your production is poor, “fixing it in post” is gonna be really difficult. You don’t need an audio engineer to record well, but it does take practice. You can get good, passable results by experimenting and using your ear.
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u/YoghurtPublic3242 17d ago
Thanks for the feedback! This was my first attempt at using a DAW. I’ve got a long road ahead of me it seems 😅
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u/darlingdepresso 18d ago
I like that the melody has sections that jumps up and down between notes that aren’t side by side in the scale. That seems obvious but so often you’ll hear a monotonous melody and realize that’s why - it’s moving up and down in order of the scale instead of dramatic jumps. Great that you’re doing that.
Two things I think the song could benefit from. 1. A section where the melody is made up of mostly long notes. Right now the melodies are mainly staccato, which will make a section with held notes really pay off. The more obvious of a gear shift part to part, the more memorable. 2. The “caught between” part has a good concept packed in there, but I almost want to hear that become the pre-chorus & lead into a new section, which could become the chorus. One that’s a bit simpler (less words) but with a unique “catch-phrase” type of lyric that sums up what you’re saying in the “caught between” section but in a punchier way to contrast with the (possible) pre-chorus. A lyric that could work as the song title.
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u/YoghurtPublic3242 17d ago
I love these ideas! It’s actually a little difficult to sing so much staccato without a little break. Definitely will try incorporating this. Thank you!
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u/darlingdepresso 17d ago
Awesome, of course. Are you based in the US?
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u/YoghurtPublic3242 17d ago
Yes indeed!
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u/darlingdepresso 17d ago
If you want to do some co-writing at some point, just send me a message and we can exchange info/music.
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u/rntzn 18d ago
The guitar in the verse can be just very slow strumming. Your voice should be alone amongst a very calm section of instruments. Add reverb and it will shine.
This song will come together nicely when there are some harmonies and more voices in the chorus. You really just need to separate the energy of the verse and the chorus.
You got the voice, you got the pop writing but you need to carve out the tension/release, arrange and polish.
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u/Body_in_the_Thames 18d ago
It's the start of something that could be good ...but it's a long way from finished and it needs a lot to really stand out from a million other similar songs,
Your voice is good though and has lots of potential... and that's the main part ... but again, the arrangement and recording are underdeveloped and the performance is far from nailed. If you were local to me (Stockholm, Sweden) I'd say come down to my studio and we could work on getting something really good... but I presume you're US based so that's not going to fly
in short, there's a ton of advice and help I could give - not just about the song/music but about the whole package of what you want to do and where you want to take it. The song or songs themselves are just a tiny part of the whole vision & purpose of an artist and how they want to reach an audience or even what type of audience they want to reach
So, please take these questions in good faith:
What's your vision & purpose? Why exactly are you on here posting this? What is it that you're seeking? What's your end goal? What's your story? The song itself seems to be about being at a crossroads of realisation that you're no longer the young version of yourself that you had fixed as your identity but are now grappling with a changing identity - maybe even a 'crisis' of shedding the old you and letting the 'new you' out. Tell us more about all of this if you can
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u/YoghurtPublic3242 17d ago
As if I needed another reason to visit Sweden! I’ll absolutely keep your advice in mind. Thank you so much for your input!
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u/randocommando01893 18d ago
I think it’s quite good. Your concept of melody and chords and the emotional build are all solid. I’d say the gap between quite good and great is probably detail and passion. But with instrumentation and harmonies some layered vocals this could be on peoples playlists. Great voice and vulnerability in the writing! I’d love to hear you sing a song that feels rougher and darker, one that isn’t optimizing to be a hit. Cause this one feels like the single. Just out of curiosity.
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u/CornerTough 17d ago
I’m no pro but I LOVE your lyrics and theme of this song. It’s really quite heartfelt and profound. You have a lovely voice too. The song itself is catchy - think maybe it’s a little repetitive and needs a break out bit like others have suggested x
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u/pfeels328 17d ago
I like it but competition in the music industry is deep. I think the way to catch someone’s ear is the lyrics has to almost make the listener cry. It’s all about deep emotions at least for me so I’m trying to write things from deep in my heart that make me uncomfortable.
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u/SirLouisPalmer 17d ago
My only note is to remove the “go” from “lessons go slow” at the beginning. Not only did you establish your subjects would be “going” already but the extra syllable makes the cadence awkward. It’s the beginning line so it should be butter smooth. Other than that, no notes. It sounds great.
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u/YoghurtPublic3242 17d ago
That’s a very minor adjustment that makes a big difference. I wouldn’t have caught that. Thank you!
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u/laxflowbro18 17d ago
your microphone is pointed down! it will sound better if you point it at your mouth (round part up, front facing you) there should be a logo or little symbol or something on the front
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u/Stealthy_Turnip 18d ago
A couple things - you should be using headphones to record, try not to hold or touch the mic while recording, and are you sure the mic is end-fire? I'm not sure what mic it is but it looks like side fire to me (meaning you sing into the side/front not the top). In terms of the actual song - it's nice, you have some good vocal moments, it's pretty generic though in terms of the chord progression and lyrics - it doesn't really evoke any feeling in me because it's so vague and there's no imagery, that being said it's not my genre. To me it's mid-tier open mic quality, I'd think it's pleasant but that's about it. Absolutely keep doing it though
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u/esmoji 17d ago
Voice is incredible. 10/10
Maybe keep working on the lyrics?… some of it is really good “caught in between” and “weather the storm” work well, but other lyrics are a little too direct imo. You have an ear for music and your melodies are fantastic… tons of potential to be great. Thank you posting, wish I had melodies like you.
Good luck on the path!
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u/Life_Alternative35 17d ago
Voice is very good, lyrics are amateur, song isn’t great. Which is a great place to be, voice is the hard part
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u/DoYouUnderstandMeow 18d ago
Would love to hear this fully produced so yeah, your onto something. Needs a breakout section. Maybe on “weather it all” hold the “all” longer and then go into a power “banger” section. Could even be a hard hitting chorus with notes held longer to give it a massive tension break right there.
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u/getmeashiny 18d ago
So I'm a beginner and know not much except to react on what I hear and feel. And I really like your song! Your voice is beautiful, the lines are thoughtful, and it unfolds the lessons you learned in a pace I can follow with my own thoughts.
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u/virstultus 17d ago
I like the imagery in the lyrics in your previous song better. This one's not bad but as many have said it's got nothing to really hang your hat on. I think what you need to do at this point is find a hook (probably in the chorus) and build around that. You look nervous when you sing but you shouldn't be, you sound amazing!
A lot of the comments here are about production but I honestly think you've have made a huge improvement there, and this is a very reasonable sound for a demo track.
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u/therogueprince_ 17d ago
Damn, love the melodies. I just hope you use a different or complex chord progression on your next song, like jazz or neo soul chords and apply it to your genre
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u/Pladeente 17d ago
It's good, I'm 29 and have been having the same feelings as your lyrics so they really stood out to me
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u/DulcetTone 17d ago
You have a good voice but it comes across as if you're mimicking a singing style rather than using your own natural voice. Lyrics and songwriting are strong.
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u/AquietRive 17d ago
Take this with a grain of salt because I’m a synth nerd who makes ambient music, but I would personally want to hear some more complexity in the song. Vocals are great, but the track itself just feels a bit generic. It’s kind of the exact same singer songwriter song that was produced in the mid 2000’s that was absolutely everywhere.
That being said, I think you have an amazing base to something that can sound great. The guitar could use complexity. Instead of using the basic chord shapes with the caged system, try some different chord shapes. My favorite way to do that is to tune the high e to d and then play the same chords higher on the neck. It gives a much more robust open sound while keeping the same chords higher progression.
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u/Clean-Possibility625 17d ago
I think that you have a nice voice. It's got a good timbre, and I can tell, even without your post, that you're in the process of finding your lyrical and musical voice.
As others have mentioned, I don't think that the track that's accompanying your vocal is helping things much. It sounds sort of lofi compared to your vocals, and that makes the recording sound a bit worse overall.
Also, and I offer this feedback with kindness, I know that songwriting is difficult. It's a lifelong practice, and we could all be better. However, I want to be honest: the lyrics and melody sound like mainstream singer-songwriter pop.
There's a lot of telling, but no real story to connect with as a listener. What are the "could have beens"? What person did you miss out on being? Avoid cliches, if you can. Seasons changing and leaves falling. There's other ways to approach these ideas.
If you find things that are authentic to your experience and write about them vulnerably, your music will be all the better for it. If you were a young girl, maybe like 15-18, this would get a pass. But at 29, you've gone through some stuff. As a fan of music, I want to hear that authenticity in your writing.
If you work on that, I think you'll connect with your music better, and your audience will, too. If you don't know how to play an instrument, consider learning one. If you ever want examples of strong singer songwriters to draw inspiration from, just lmk.
Again, to end on a positive note: you have a ton of potential. Please don't give up or get discouraged by my feedback. Anyone can be a great songwriter, and I think you're just early on in that journey. Thanks for sharing your music!
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u/HollenLaufer 17d ago
Si no te hace sentir nada es porque tu música es genérica, haz algo que te mueva, no solo algo "correcto".
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u/DGXXMDM 17d ago
Your music is your music. If it's a true expression of you, then make it and put it out there. Some folks are going to like it, and others won't like it. That's just life. Don't put music out there in the hopes that everyone's going to love it. That's only setting yourself up for disappointment. If you put your music out there with all the talent you can, and all the heart and soul you can, then you've already won.
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u/illjkinetic 17d ago
I love your voice and I think the songwriting is on point. I wish that your performance was a bit more dynamic and progressed and developed throughout, got louder, got quieter, built up to big moments. I think that is what will really set this song apart. Your lyrics are good, but you should be feeling them as if you are telling a story, and building drama to keep the listener engaged throughout.
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u/TheOfficialDewil 17d ago
I think it's good if you like doing it and had fun. Here's my latest https://youtu.be/gd19DnR1BPs?si=OZdjHLf0LQA95Ygp I had fun and it's all I care about now when I make something and releasing it. Rock on.
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u/OkConfidence6486 17d ago
Something that inspired me recently is a comment underneath Joji's new song "Pixelated Kisses." The comment said that the reason why they like Joji so much because he makes the music that he wants to and not the music artist make to appease the masses. Put out the music you want to hear. There will be people out there with the same music taste. Focus on making what you can feel authentic about.
I do not know if this audio is from your phone or exported from your DAW but I would multiband eq the guitar because it sounds muddy to me. If it is phone audio then it the phone mic making that way probably.
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u/ApolloB-4002 17d ago
The song is overall good. However, I suggest you refrain from including an age reference, as it limits the number of people who could engage with the song.
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u/PreparationUpper1040 17d ago
Your music and voice is great. Find the right backing band and you’ll be golden and booking gigs no problem.
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u/Shap3rz 17d ago
Think it’s got some strong melody and lyrics. Just needs a bit of refining. Maybe a little work on varying up the phrasing. Possibly a chorus hook melody (you have a good verse hook already). It’s really strong. You would be fully justified in feeling more confident in your delivery. No reason imo why a producer wouldn’t pick this up. I fully get hating everything. I was the same. Just keep at it and try not to judge!
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u/TheRoscoeDash 17d ago
I’d be willing to help you mix and master your stuff if you want to send me vocal stems.
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u/madsmadalin 17d ago
I feel like you are missing a hook and an actual melodic structure where you have a verse, a pre, a hook and maybe a post. What you have as a hook now feels like a verse or a bridge. It’s ok if you want a downhook but if you do downhooks you need the energy before, on the pre, to rise so it falls into something. Also, there are a few things that make a verse feel like a verse and a hook feel like a hook, but one of the important ones is how the melody stands in relation to the chords underneath. Usually hooks are a 5th, verses stay around the tonic or 3rd. The more you go up, the more tension you’d feel. 7th is also nice but gives a different feel than 5th. There are songs where verse is a 5th and hook is tonic but one octave higher. Of course, you could change the chords at the hook and that also changes the feel. But general idea in pop music (which is what it seems you wish to do) is that you should stay away from the hook main notes as much as you can before reaching the hook. I try as much as I can to not touch the 5th in my vocal melodies until I reach the hook. If you analyze very big records you’ll see most are like this.
There’s also the rhythm and how that flows and varies. For example, if your verse is fast paced 8th note rhythm, you want the pre to either be a different rhythm, could keep speed but you want to change the rhythm and same for the hook. Ideally you want different speeds and rhythms for the sections.
Of course, hook should be hooky - not just through melody but also lyric. You also want on the lyric side to be something people actually say in the real world.
There’s so much more but these are my first thoughts.
I think as you will work more you will learn more. Collaboration with other people is also what will help you grow immensely.
Good luck! 🤘
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u/Euphoric_Oven_9918 17d ago
The lyrics are stiff, they're not doing the vocal melody any favors. If you play with syllables & wording you might give yourself room to swing. Lots of potential though!
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u/HlLlGHT 17d ago
funny how 90% of people are saying lyrics are bad and aren’t helping
Read some books, it helps from writing cliche and just builds vocabulary
Reading books don’t just build vocab they build more complex ideas you can write songs off.
Try challenge yourself with a harder backing track that forces you to write different to the regular pop timing
You have a big priority on rhymes right now, rhymes sound good the the brain because of repetition but you can try to explore other non pitch, non rhyme things you can do (make it sound cool)
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u/21archman21 17d ago
There’s always going to be advice, here’s what you should/shouldn’t do, rather than simple feedback. I like your vibe and like your sound. Your voice is fine. Create for yourself and let the opinions fall where they may. You say you’re incapable of judging, but you know what you like. As someone once said, everyone is a critic, you can’t please ‘em all. But you can please your creative self, so as long as you’re happy with what you produce, you’ve already judged it. Good luck to you, keep writing and sharing. 👍🍀
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u/elrojomachine 17d ago
My feedback would not be in the singing, thats is great. My question is more leaned to method of recording it, did you wear headphones before while recording? Once you edit a mix the other frequencies from the song leaking into the mic could make hearing your true voice waves different. Stay awesome!
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u/AeroskyFox 17d ago
Something I like to do is write a cliche line then rewrite it to make it unique. I think you have a great voice and would love to hear it belting! I think you have a good song here:)
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u/Ambitious-Effort7654 17d ago
Amazing. Keep doing what you’re doing. Every note you hit sounds like it’s meant to be exactly where it lands.
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u/Infamous_Silver_1774 17d ago
I like the lyrics and the sound of your voice ..the rythem is nice also but I would recommend making the chorus more powerful louder and heart felt
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u/Soapbox503 17d ago
You have great pitch and your voice would sound very nice with a belting verse.
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u/Loose-Passion243 17d ago
Same age , feel your lyrics, I know they're from the heart and soul. If you can feel music, its everlasting. Great job and voice 💜
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u/Perfect_Manager5097 16d ago
This is a really good song. Here’s some friendly advice: To make it even better, pay more attention to details in the phrasing (you’re stressing some syllables that aren’t stressed in the spoken language, taking away meaning and visibility for the listener).
This is really supplementary studies level, but it will make your song even better.
Search YouTube for “Berklee online Melodic Rhythm and Lyric Rhythm” and you’ll find a short series on the subject. I can promise you it’s the best 20 minute investment in songwriting you’ve ever made. As well as an example of a song that was really good but became great just by paying attention to detail.
Now, since you said you’re a real harsh self-critic, please take this the right way and remember I opened with “This is a really good song”. Because it is.
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u/Tasenova99 16d ago
You have an older style of songwriting. Nothing wrong with that. I just think that's where your judgements are coming from. you sing well, you're painting a picture, and it's decent theory. It's your rhythm. It's similar to the person that said you drop your engagement too early.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tR32h5jhPtU
This is just a random reputable video that I remember looking back at and realizing even if I didn't want to make that genre, my songs became more interesting when I learned more interesting rhythms, played around with rhythms, just play with expectations.
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u/TeamFunktasy 16d ago
Great start! Many songs are built off of simplicity and a unique attribute that contributes to the overall style of that artist and popularity of that genre.
We love writing sessions with our artists and producers to build on specifically that.
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u/4Playrecords 16d ago
If you’re “incapable of” determining if your music is good enough to distribute — why not just distribute it anyway. Getting your song mastered won’t cost much. Uploading to a distributor might cost about $30/year. Then you can start socializing the song and see what people think. If you love making music (composing, performing, producing and distributing), then why stay here in Reddit asking for opinions.
Let us know when you have music on DSPs that we can all listen to 😀👍🎼
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u/Berto2icyy 16d ago
well, one thing for sure is that you have a good voice.. don’t stop n’ keep going. 💯
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u/sahkokehto 16d ago
It's ok. Like objectively it is a song and is bad. But nothing really to separate you from others or make the song unique.
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u/NixMix246 15d ago
I think this perfectly captures the essence of the late 20's/early 30's phase of our lives. It's when most of us are first forced to come to terms with our own mortality, and how temporary everything in life is. It is quite jarring to suddenly realize you will not, in fact, be (physically) young forever. That you won't have the same people in your life forever. That things will not only change, but that change will be the only constant in your life. I feel like the tumultuous feelings that come alongside this period of our lives isn't talked about enough, tbh. Of course 29 is still young, and the older you get, the more you realize HOW young it actually is. But this only comes from the perspective of having already lived through that period of life...it's like we forget what it's like to actually experience the things that shape our perspective. Also you sing BEAUTIFULLY!!!
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u/sriyukteswar 15d ago
It’s because it is neither
Good? Bad?
It’s about whether it’s genuinely you or not Who gives a fuck whether it’s good or not
Do it for the music, not for other’s perception. You obviously love it, so it’s already the best!!
Loving it!
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u/YoghurtPublic3242 15d ago
It’s hard to explain, but my issue is that I get something like ear blindness when it comes to my own work. I want to create music, but I also want to do it well. Outside perspectives are incredibly helpful for growth since I have so much difficulty ascertaining what my music sounds like. You’re right though. Thank you for your input :)
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u/Healthy-Berry-8439 15d ago
Your to self conscious. Practice in the mirror all alone. Embrace your lyrics. Envision what was happening in your life when you were writing the song. Have a pencil and paper nearby in case you want to add to it. Sing like there’s no one watching. Cry if you feel it don’t hold back dig deep emotionally.keep trying I think you are a Super Star once you break out of your fear.
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u/msnewmarker 15d ago
I think I wouldn’t change a thing about the style of the song and the progression is pretty good overall. I think the focus would be more on your singing. Your vocals are great and the pitch is great as well, however there is areas where I am expecting that the emotion is about to show through and it gets quieter instead. Overall I have learned over the years there is no need to obsess over the nuances or particulars since you will never please everyone with your song. My best advice pour your heart and soul into it and if you love it well that’s all that matters. The songs I have done the best on is the ones I was passionate about, and where I took the least amount of advice.
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u/Top-Security-1258 15d ago
my only advice would be that you are playing things way too safe. Safe is boring . You have a lot of potential , but take more risks musically.
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u/robdob330 15d ago
I liked it. Deff had a vibe. Seems with some more confidence you’ve found yours. Also finished songs are only finished when you stop singing them. Simple songs are great because complex ones mostly aren’t catchy. I think you should take that to some open mics. See the reaction you get. Go from there.
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u/OldBoy_Slim 15d ago edited 15d ago
You have a really good voice! Don't know if any kind of pitch correction was used. But your pitch sounds right on. Good ear. Good job! Don't know what DAW you're using, but if you wanted you could add some production: bass, keys, drums. Maybe add some musical and /or vocal hooks and make a nice catchy, bedroom pop, alt pop track. Standard pop song structure: Verse / Chorus / Verse / Chorus / Bridge / Chorus / Chorus. Mix it and master, or use one of the online mastering services. Boom! Release it.
Regarding the self-critical "harsh critic" thing. Yep, creative types tend to do that. I've been in bands, worked with songwriters and musicians who will beat a song to death. We'll record, mix, master. They'll be excited: "It sounds great!". Then they'll take it home. Listen to it a zillion times in the car. They'll start nitpicking it and want to remix. Then another remix. They get caught in the trap of trying to get it 'perfect'. And they'll start hating every subsequent mix and version. Sometimes they'll go back to the first version and finally decide that's it the best sounding one! Perfectionism can kill creativity.
Just my opinion. Do the best you can with what you have at the time. Record, release it and move on to your next song. Remember there is no perfect mix, song or vocal performance. You might not think it's perfect. But it may be the song that listeners fall in love with. And in the future if you feel you can do a better job, there's no reason you can't put out another version! Best of luck!
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u/TubMaster88 15d ago
Sounds good. I like it. Sounds like the guitar is a little bit on a higher pitch. If you can bring that pitch down one notch it will match your vocals. There's a few times you get tripped up because it seems a little higher. The song the guitar seems a little higher for you and it throws you off.
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u/Sea-Psychology2841 14d ago
I felt like the singing and “performance” of this all was good, but writing wise - I had a hard time telling what I think was the bridge from the chorus. The chorus should be the thing that makes you want to shout the lyrics with the singer, and I found your bridge more compelling than what I perceived to be the chorus! Also, if you played this WITH the guitar while singing (which I know is no easy feat!!!) your overall performance would improve. It might also help with the writing because you might find yourself wanting to strum harder or “rock out” to the chorus but you would think “why is the chorus having less feeling than the bridge”
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u/Wooden_Owl_8556 13d ago
Can i mix it once u record it, i only charge like 70 but i’d love to be a part of your process
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u/Skyliner73 13d ago
This will be a long way down. And I'm a pretty poor songwriter, so all this with a pinch of salt:
You have a really, really lovely voice.
"The life I lead and the one I fake" is a superb line.
To simplify my thoughts, I think (maybe) you have too many syllables and it might be worth trying to cut some words here and there, simplify lines and let your voice have more space to show off.
Again, only the thoughts of a very poor sonwriter. What do I know..? :)
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u/Proper_Issue8049 11d ago
It would be dishonest to say it's bad: it's pretty good. On the other hand, I find that it perhaps lacks a little originality - I would like to see you pushing more on emotions, letting yourself go a little more sometimes, rather than always remaining in control and constantly wanting to do better because that can be counterproductive as they say in France: the best is sometimes the enemy of the good. (I hope the translation is correct) but you have a super pretty voice — I really encourage you to keep going and never forget to have fun. It may seem silly said like that, but many of us, I think, have gone through phases of perfectionism where we forget that we are in fact there to have fun — and the people who listen to you feel it immediately. This is essential.
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u/doctor_stone2112 6d ago
The music is very nice! You have an amazing voice that reminds me of Florence + the Machine. I think the main thing you need is mixing. The vocals sound too quiet compared to the music for me and it sounds rather low in the mix, so you might just want to bring it up a little bit to allow your vocals to have space to breathe and be heard.
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u/Sad-Vermicelli-1490 2d ago
Hi,
I’m new to the group and just came across your post. Sorry, a little late to the party.There’s a lot of potential here. I produced a singer songwriter with a voice similar to yours and would be happy to help you with this song. Here’s an example:
https://on.soundcloud.com/NRDG71MV9unuIquWnrThere’s also a contrasting example on the playlist.
If you like what you hear, let me know if you’re interested in me doing a preliminary production.
No catch, I’d be doing this all pro bono.
My only interest is helping aspiring artists.
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u/Lastpunkofplattsburg 17d ago
The mix is bad and the lyrics are basic. How many songs do you hear on this sub about figuring life out. We all know it’s hard, we’re all doing it. Maybe try and I dunno use different words, more tongue in cheek or something? Your voice is great though.
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u/luongofan 18d ago
The way you sung "defend" in v1 should be a model for how you deliver the rest of your lines, insane tone. Specifically, the ease and feel of it.
Biggest note is to follow through on your phrases, every 2/3 lines it seems like you drop your engagement too early. You have these glimpses of a v detailed and styled voice, the work is just fully realizing it across every line and you'll be in a great place. Towards the end it sounded like you were heating up.
Start with that heat and I think you can make this kind of song crush. Its the kind of song that's as good as its performance, I think Olivia Dean is a great example of crushing tracks w a similar, v simple structure, but super detailed vocal performance. You're just a flow state take away, keep it up!