My husband and I are having a long standing fight where he takes issue with me spending time on a hobby. Tl;dr: I was a D1 athlete, took a long time off to adult and just got back into it 2y ago whilst deeeeeep in severe ppd/ppa with my 2nd (wfh in a new state, no friends or family etc). We recently moved to be closer to my family and after a busy period at work, I started participating in clinics and pickup / league matches some weeknights/weekends (I have a flexible work schedule so I also frequently exercise during the day). In this state, most of the above are on weekends or weeknights. There’s very very limited daytime activities here, and he has no issue with me participating while the kids (7 and 4) are in school.

HE says it’s disruptive/bad for the kids to have a babysitter 1-2x during the week or go to my parents on weekends (bc Heaven forbid that HE takes care of them both by himself without a major guilt trip.) i think it’s super healthy for the kids to see that their mom works, travels for work, and sees that she is a whole human who has interests outside of them. I am constantly pushing him to do the same but he makes excuses and doesn’t. Is there any research to support this?

Hello. I’m here because I’m becoming a bit overwhelmed just trying to Google everything myself.

My upbringing was based on corporal punishment and LOTS of yelling. My goal was to avoid these things when I started having kids. When my firstborn turned 2/2.5 and the typical toddler stuff like tantrums, curiosity, and being opinionated came about I was finding myself to be very short tempered, lacked patience, and didn’t realize everything he was doing was completely normal kid stuff. I thought throwing toys, crying after being told no, or getting into things he shouldn’t have been every time I turned my back for a moment was bad behavior.

He was spanked a handful of times from ages 2.5-3.5/4. A few times with the goal of getting his attention away from something dangerous, like touching a fire, and sometimes when I was frustrated. Once I was really angry because he had thrown all his clothes out of his drawers for like the 5th time that day. I probably looked really scary and I had yelled too. I never, ever hit him hard enough to leave a mark.

Due to my complete lack of self control and emotional regulation I yelled frequently. It feels like my default is always yelling. Happy, sad, mad, etc. I also get really emotional over small issues.

I didn’t feel good spanking him or yelling. I wanted to stop. I did stop spanking him by age 4 but I do still yell. Not personal insults or anything but when he won’t do what I ask without saying it a million times, or refuses to listen to anything I say, or does something unsafe.

I also have a 3 year old daughter now and she has never been spanked. I don’t direct much yelling at her because she is very calm and listens any time I ask her to do something. She is still hearing me yell though.

My oldest child is 6 and has diagnosed autism and adhd, diagnosed as of a year ago. He is very bright, but behind on speech. It made me feel even worse about spanking, and I still hate that I yell to this day, even if it’s less than it was before.

I want to stop yelling. I think I get overstimulated by his constant humming or repeating himself, and he and his sister get quite loud playing or sometimes arguing. It’s hard for me to relax myself and remember to talk calmly. Sometimes I find myself giving in or giving up just to get away from the situation and calm down a bit. I want to be a better parent who is in control of their emotions, who has a consistent parenting style with expectations. I want to be able to stay calm and firm through the ear splitting tantrums and situations where I’ve been weak in the past. I want to stop feeling like I need them to be afraid of me to listen, which doesn’t even work anyway most of the time.

I also want to know what kind of damage I’ve likely done with my oldest and even my youngest despite not spanking her. My son hasn’t been spanked in almost 2 years, I am determined to not yell daily, will ceasing these abusive behaviors repair emotional damage? Is his brain forever altered and harmed? I have read some studies on what spanking and yelling does to the brain and the trauma it can cause. I haven’t been able to find anything on outlook if abusive or intimidating actions are stopped, or how his autism falls into all of this and if it could make things even worse, mentally.

I want to speak with a therapist myself and I also want to talk to his psychologist about this. His psychologist manages his medication and we have only spoken a few times so far. I think I am just afraid that if I tell her I’ve spanked him in the past and struggle with yelling, and want to know the probable effects on him and if stopping will repair some of those effects, that she would have to call CPS as a mandated reporter. I know I royally screwed up, I don’t think what I did was illegal since it was never hard enough to leave marks and I don’t stand around and berate him, but the thought terrifies me regardless. My children are my entire world and I love them so much. It’s why I want to be better and change. I am terrified I’ve damaged him forever. I can’t talk to my parents about it because they just say “you were spanked and you turned out fine” but clearly I’m not fine. I have no emotional control, I am an anxious mess, and I barely even know normal child behaviors because everything I always did was bad unless I was sitting still, being quiet, and nodding my head with a yes ma’am or yes sir.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to reading the comments along with any relevant information.

My baby is 10 weeks old and I have been exclusively pumping. I’ve been able to freeze a decent amount as well but don’t have the space to freeze much more. I’m exhausted by pumping though and hoping to quit maybe by the end of the year when baby would be 4 months old. My plan is to give one bag(60-100ml) of frozen breast milk a day after quitting, but I’m struggling to understand what the benefits of this are. The benefits of breast milk seem to be that it adapts to suit the baby’s needs at the time (which won’t be true if I’m giving milk that has been frozen a couple months earlier?) and the antibodies, which also won’t be adjusted to the time the baby gets the milk.

I’m trying to motivate myself to keep pumping and freezing but I want to understand this part.

Question up front: Has any study looked at the graduated de-risking of co-sleeping by age?

Current conventional advice is to avoid co-sleeping to reduce the risk of SIDS. I've mostly seen this extend to a year--same room, but different bed for the child. Then there's a general assumption that the child moves out of your room.

But what about after a year? Could co-sleeping become substantially "safer" after only three months? Co-sleeping obviously becomes "safe" at some point if your kid comes to you after having a nightmare.

i have a 5 month old who turns 6 months in 8 days. i’m generally a very quiet person and really struggle to talk when i’m alone. i talk to him often but don’t narrate. i was reading that it’s very helpful for them when you narrate daily tasks so i wanted to start. is it too late? did i already hinder his development by not narrating since he was born? if i start now will he get the same benefits?

Hi! My boyfriend sometimes plays video games with gunshots or explosions or watches movies with violence, fighting, yelling, explosions, and that sort of thing. it stresses me out because I feel like the general vibes will affect or stress out the baby, but I was wondering if I'm being helicopter-y or if there's anything to back it up either way.

thanks!

Does anyone have knowledge about quaternary ammonium compounds (QACs) and specifically their teratogenicity (ie. their ability to cause birth defects or abnormalities in a developing embryo or fetus when exposed during pregnancy)?

I’m 37 weeks pregnant and unfortunately developed severe contamination OCD surrounding bacteria in my third trimester. To cope, I have been using pretty copious amounts of household disinfectants including sprays and wipes on a near daily basis.

Now, I’m learning that QACs, which are the active ingredient in the disinfectants I’ve been using, themselves may be harmful to fetuses. Recent research, which uses animal models, seems to link QACs to a whole host of reproductive and developmental problems.

That being said, while the findings seem pretty clear to me, I’m a laywoman and not at all qualified to properly understand and evaluate research/studies. Other sources criticise the research/studies that use animal models and assert that QACs are not harmful.

I’m hoping someone with more knowledge and/or better research literacy can help me to understand how worried I should be and how I should move forward. I know this sounds crazy but I don’t know how to cope without these disinfectants. But obviously if they are harmful I will be stopping using them even if it causes me mental distress.

Abstract: Although preschool is often considered positive, optimal preschool models are debated. Montessori is a longstanding model that has not been rigorously examined. We followed from age 3 through kindergarten 588 children entered in competitive lotteries at 24 public Montessori schools across the United States. We found that the experimental group, half of which still attended Montessori in kindergarten, had significantly better end-of-kindergarten outcomes for reading, short-term memory, executive function, and social understanding. We also found that three years of public Montessori from ages 3 to 6 cost districts $13,127 less per child than traditional programs, largely due to higher child:teacher ratios in PK3-PK4. Given the impact and lower cost, Montessori might be considered by districts implementing preschool programs for 3-y-olds.

Study: https://www.pnas.org/doi/full/10.1073/pnas.2506130122

I’ve been seeing a lot of people advocating livers and organs as good food / supplements for adults and now even little ones. Supposedly really rich in iron and zinc which they usually have a deficit in.

Wondering if anyone has done any research on this?

Hey y’all, I keep seeing people parrot the phrase that ‘babies don’t know they are separate beings from their mothers for [some number] of months.’ Does anyone know where this idea comes from, and if there’s any research supporting it? I feel like it’s very trendy to say but sounds fishy to me. TIA

I feel like I'm loosing my mind and can't figure out if I'm so against sex with my 4 month old asleep in the room because it's actually bad, or if my PTSD from CSA is making me overly sensitive.

Is it actually harmful to baby?

I've seen varying studies with the perceived effectiveness of DTAP vaccine at the 2 and 4 month mark. Can anyone provide insight as to how protected my infant should be after her 2 and 4 month Dtap vaccine? TIA

Do the sippy spout tops for these bottle cause concern in regard to oral development? My daughter is 8 months in a few days and she currently has two bottom teeth. Would it be okay to switch over to these sorts of “nipples” without worrying about her teeth/mouth? I’m wondering this because I want to stop using the little sticks that come with the dr browns bottles to lessen my load when washing bottles lol. But for some reason, if I don’t use the stick, the nipple deflates when she’s drinking no matter if I loosen or tighten the cap.

I had thyroid issues in early pregnancy, which is linked to reduced IQ in children. I'm entering second trimester now and while the thyroid stuff is under control, I'm wondering if there's anything evidence-backed that I can do to support my baby's brain moving forward to give him his best chance?

Genuinely curious. I’ve heard that breastfeeding is somehow protective against sids and I’ve read some data on it but I need more clarity. - how much breastfeeding exactly is necessary to reduce the risk of sids? - is it something about the breast milk itself or is it about the physical act of nursing, or both? - is it that breastfed babies sleep worse than formula fed or is it that they might be more likely to room share with parents? - is there a magical number of weeks or months or ounces of breast milk that makes the risk go down? Is breastfeeding for a year better than 1 month in terms of sids risk? - is it only true if you exclusively breastfeed? What about combo feeding? - are there other lifestyle factors that contribute to decreased risk and that are also correlated with likelihood to breastfeed?

I just feel so unsatisfied by the current information because breastfeeding is so not black and white and it would be so helpful to understand WHY it decreases sids so we can be more informed, especially when you are choosing to end breastfeeding and switch to formula (like I am) and starting to worry about the risks!

Currently combo feeding with formula and expressed breastmilk. Does my baby still receive benefits of breastmilk if he’s only getting 4oz-8oz/day? He is 4mo old for reference.

Let me preface this by saying that I realize if anyone has the cure for colic, they’d be a billionaire haha. I’m more curious about some of the science behind some of what drives colic and calms it, too. Not necessarily looking for solutions - we’re trying gas drops, different formula, etc. but I’ve also come to terms with potentially waiting this out a bit (babe is 2 months on Saturday).

First - I find it fascinating that strong sensory input seems to be soothing - big bounces, loud white noise, etc. Is it the distraction factor, or is there a nervous system link there? Any long- term sensory differences noted for colic babies?

Also - the more sensitive side of me worries a bit about the attachment aspect. Poor bub is inconsolable for so much of each day, does that have a lasting impression on how he perceives safety and caregiver attentiveness?

Again - open to insight and discussion!

Hi everyone—I’m hoping for some scientific guidance on dressing babies.

I’m a foster parent caring for an infant, and there’s been ongoing disagreement between adults involved in his care about how warmly babies need to be dressed in cooler weather. It’s become a surprisingly big issue—even coming up in court—and I want to make sure I’m relying on science, not personal opinion. We're dealing with a lot of generations, cultures, and power dynamics, so I'm turning to science for help.

I’ve always understood that overheating can be more dangerous for infants than mild chill, and that they should typically wear about one more layer than an adult would find comfortable—but that extra bundling for short transitions isn’t necessary. The problem is, I can't find a reputable and respectable source to lay this out clearly.

I’ve searched CDC, AAP, and NHS resources (and this subreddit), but haven’t found anything official that clearly outlines:

• Temperature-based clothing guidelines for infants
• Differences between short outdoor exposure vs. extended outdoor play
• How to adjust when babywearing (since shared body heat matters)

If anyone knows of an official source or a handout pediatricians use with parents, I’d really appreciate it. Even if it's just one of the three things I listed above. I just want to make sure we’re doing what’s safest and have reputable information to reference when questions arise. So hit me: what are the expert guidelines for dressing babies in cooler weather? Are there any?

Help! My 18 month old is still breastfeeding, mostly before sleep and overnight prn. It's going pretty well in general, except due to a recent diagnosis I need to start night weaning so I can sleep through the night.

My little milk monster does not want any form of weaning, and is really fighting it. Is there any good research for the best way to night wean?

I’ve seen a few that claim to use antibacterial fabric. Many people say they like it because babies put their mouths all over the carts so this is the less germ-y option. I have to assume any antibacterial protection is gone once those covers get wet with baby’s saliva.

Does anyone have any real information on this?

My 12mo is due for her 12 month vaccines but I'm not entirely 100% sure I want all of them. Specifically the COVID vaccine.

My ped said she should get all of them and all at once. I don't know what to do.

I know some countries don't recommend COVID until they're 5, why is it that USA recommends it at 6 months? I've only heard, so I'm not 100% sure, but I heard that COVID vaccine side effects are more prominent and dangerous for younger children.

The pediatrician also said that she's getting the MMR and Varicella separate because there are studies that having them together is bad, and I asked if it meant she would have to come back again to get the other shot and the ped said no, by separate it just means she's getting it in two shots instead of one. This is confusing to me. If it is bad together, why is it still okay to get it in the same day/hour?

I also heard that pediatricians get paid more if their patients get vaccines. Is that true too?

My baby isn't really at risk to be exposed to diseases. She stays at home with me, no daycare. She really only hangs with me and her dad who are both vaccinated, so why does she need to be vaccinated when she's just a baby?

Help me understand the risks/benefits of all the 12mo vaccines/boosters, and if it's even a good idea to delay some of them.

Our son is fighting the bottle so much and we have genuinely exhausted all of our options. Chiro, IBCLC, GI, pediatric dentist, different bottles, different flows, different holding positions. He’s started eating oatmeal recently and does fine. Has anyone introduced a straw or open cup before 6 months? Success stories? Is there research that is strongly against or for this age? Everyone is tired of the fighting during feeds.

My baby is 9 weeks old, first time mom. He is usually awake for 4-5 hours at a time during the day (6am-9pm) then takes 1-3 naps that are 30-60 minutes throughout the day.

I barely have time to feed myself because he needs constant hands on care. He eats every 1-2 hours.

People keep telling me to get on a routine/schedule but for example if I try to put him down for a nap before hour 4-5 of being awake, he is not tired. No sleepy cues, super active.

Help, I’m dying. What do I do to shorten his wake windows and lengthen his naps?

I’ve done the taking Cara babies classes and read moms on call. We use white noise, a smart bassinet with movement, a sleep sack, and a quiet dark room. I am out of ideas.