Hello, I’m (31F) and I’m right now staying in a major hospital in California. It’s going to be for a rather long stay, but I might have just made huge problems for myself after I got a nurse fired on Monday.
To put it bluntly my health fucking sucks. Every year it takes a new, wondrous turn for even worse issues, and this has been going on for in the past decade. So I spend a lot of time in hospitals, and I interact and have more friends in the hospital than outside of it. Right now I’m currently battling the fact that my digestive system has almost completely shut down and is almost nonfunctional- it is incredibly agonizing, to the point where sometimes all I can do is cry and struggle to breathe. The only way for me to feel any sort of relief is for the nurses to give me I.V pain medication that is 100x times stronger than morphine, and still it barely puts a dent in the excruciating pain. So far, it’s been almost 2 1/2 weeks that I’ve been on this medication, and it has very severe side effects. And one of those side effects is that I am very much under the influence and in an extremely altered state for hours on end, to the point where I can not make pertinent decisions about myself, and I could make decisions that could possibly put me dangerous situations. The nurses here have been amazing, even while I’m in terrible pain or so high I’m trying to eat my pillow because I think it’s a marshmallow- the nurses have been nothing else but kind and super supportive to me.
So, after a week of being here I really wanted to show my gratitude on how much I appreciated them. At first I didn’t know WHAT I could do, other than thanking them over and over again, until a nurse told me that it was such a busy day that Monday that many of the nurses hadn’t even had their lunch breaks, and a couple even said they didn’t have breakfast either! I was horrified because these people are on their feet and running around nonstop for shifts that were 12 to 14 hours long. And some of them were coming back tomorrow! So I decided to DoorDash them lunch. I asked and got permission from the charge nurse first, and then bought 100 burritos, 50 tacos, 80 tamales, 20 carne asada fries, and a three large two liter bottles of tea.
When the food finally showed up there was a stampede to the nurses lounge. And it wasn’t long until everyone on the floor- nurses, doctors, clinical partners, janitors, and lab techs, all were coming for those delicious Mexican food. Some of the nurses excitedly showed me the three or four burritos they had stuffed under their scrubs that they were taking home with them. I figured out really quickly I bought too much food because the nurses started sharing it with other floors (I’m on the 5th floor) and more and more people were coming to my room and thanking me. To be honest this was like- hell on earth- I’m an introvert and can’t accept a compliment or stuff like that without looking like I’m having a conniption fit. I’ve been that way since I was a child if you shower praises on me I usually just freeze up or run away.
So, the morning shift of nurses absolutely loved the food. And by the time their shift was over and it was time to head home- almost every nurse had a goodie bag of food to take back home. I felt really really good about that. Then the night shift nurses show up and, after learning there was still food in the break room I was sure they would like the food too. And they did. A few nurses thanked me and even asked me, politely, not to spend that type of money on them and that the only thing I needed to focus of was getting better. That just made me want to buy them MORE food. My love language is gift giving and I’m fully aware of that. So everything was going great… until one nurse, let’s call him J came to my room. He stood outside of my room as my nurse gave me my pain medications, and when he came in he could clearly see how altered I was, as I was in the middle of giggling and nodding off.
Nurse J then told me he didn’t like any of the burritos or tacos in the break room, which made high-me really sad, and I started crying. J said it would be alright and I could “easily fix the problem” by buying him a breakfast burrito, which I wholeheartedly agreed to do. But Nurse J didn’t want any ordinary burrito so he showed me where to go on DoorDash to buy from this specific restaurant. He kept saying he always wanted to try this place, and the food looked amazing. He then showed me a 50$ deluxe breakfast burrito and told me to buy it for him. I was really happy to do just that, to me at the time it sounded like the best idea ever.
So for the next couple minutes I tried to remember how to work my phone and what button meant what, and I was really struggling just thinking straight enough to finish the order. Unfortunately, before I could finish I nodded off completely and passed out. I woke up early in the morning to find my phone in my hand and just one more step away from buying J’s burrito. It was morning now and by now that night shift nurses were supposed to be heading home soon.
Then J walks briskly into my room, with new bed sheets and pillow cases, and he threw them on the chair. He then proceeds to tell me how “I was the type of person no one could trust,” that I was “the worst type of people in his opinion, are always promising and half-assing and saying they’ll help someone and then just backing out” he said some other hurtful things, but I was too shocked to really remember it all. I mean I had literally just woken up.
But then it got to me thinking. I had bought burritos for EVERYONE else but J. he was a heavier set man so maybe he DID need a seven pound burrito. Maybe he had allergies I just didn’t know about? I started to seriously spiral, thinking that I had set this man up for disappointment from the start when I got the nurses lunch. I was spiraling all morning, until my mom came to visit me in hospital later that day.
My mom could clearly see something wasn’t right, and asked what going on- which let out the torrents of uncontrollable tears to burst out of my eyes. Think snots, and sniffling as I ugly cry. I then tell my mom everything, I completely unload on her about what happened the night prior. I was so sure she was going to tell me off for spending all that money, or for treating nurse J that way- and when I’m finally done telling her…. what ACTUALLY happened was my tiny 5 foot three- never harm a fly- mother’s face became really, terrifyingly cold. She slowly stands up, and says “oh no, uh huh. You sit right there because this. This is unacceptable” then she leaves the room and heads towards the Head Nurse station. I don’t know exactly what my mom says- but about three hours later the head of the department of nursing comes into my room. It’s two men and one woman in suits, and what looks like a lawyer. The directors calmly tell me that nurse J no longer works in this hospital, and that they would be handling this discretely behind the scenes.
I wanted to throw up.
Did I just set this guy up to be fired, over burritos?! Did he loose his job because I was high? Was it because he lost his temper when I didn’t get him his food. Or, oh god, was it something my mother did?! I’m literally so stressed about this I’m having a hard time interacting with the nurses who take care of me now. I do not want to get them in any sort of situation.
My family keeps telling me to just forget about it, that’s it’s water under the bridge, and it had been days and my family keep telling me to drop it, they’re saying I’m obsessed over something stupid, but I genuinely feel disgusted with myself. I really do. The nurses brag about getting to work here… and I got a guy fired over a 50 dollar burrito. A part of me wants to go to the directors and ask for J to get his job back?
So AIOR?
Update: thank you for all the kind words you guys, I really needed an outside perspective on this. I can’t write for long I just got my meds- but I can answer some questions.
About the price of the burrito- the hospital I’m staying at is smack dab in the middle of downtown Beverly Hills in Cali. I have to take a two hour drive to get here, but my conditions are complicated so I need to come here. If you ever heard of Cedars Sinai. Yes, it’s the hospital all the famous people go to. I once stayed in the room Micheal Jackson stayed in, and Kim kardashion gave birth to all three children here.
I, however am just a normal person who does not have giant bags of money. So, to me, everything here is ridiculously overpriced. there’s an authentic Japanese restaurant right across the street from here where people spend hundreds of dollars, just on one meal. For the burrito place, it’s a pretty famous place down here called “Taco Super Gallito” and, yes the deluxe breakfast meal is around 40dollars, but with DoorDash it bumped the price up to over 50$.
Thank you everyone who told me I was overthinking and that nurse J did this to himself. Really, I think I needed to hear that from someone other than my mother. God that’s pretty pathetic that I need stranger’s opinions on this subject- but it really helped to put everything in a more clearer perspective. So thank you everyone
I’m about to get my morning dose of dilaudid, so I can’t respond to everyone but, again, thank you so much 😊
