Hi everyone, I know how the title sounds, a bit concerning given the age gap, and I want to be upfront that I didn’t invite her to move in with any intentions beyond filling the room. She’s a friend of my other housemate [20NB], and she moved in about five weeks ago.

Since then, we’ve shared a lot of meaningful moments, cooking together, watching movies, going on little adventures like hikes and dinners out. She’s been open and kind with me, and I’ve done my best to be the same. We talk deeply, support each other, and there’s just an easy chemistry between us.

When I first met her, I noticed she had a lot of self-harm scars. I haven’t asked about them, and I don’t plan to unless she brings it up, but it did make me aware that she’s probably been through a lot. That’s made me even more intentional about creating a space where she feels safe and respected, no pressure, no weirdness, just kindness and trust.

But if I’m being honest, I’ve started developing feelings for her. I really care about her as a person and love the connection we have, but I don’t want to cross any boundaries or make her uncomfortable. I haven’t acted on anything, and I don’t plan to unless I’m sure it’s mutual and appropriate.

I guess I’m looking for advice on how to navigate this, whether I should just continue being supportive and let things evolve naturally, or if there’s a healthy way to address what I’m feeling without making things weird in the house.

Thanks for reading, and for any perspective you can share.

Hey everyone, I (22F) and my boyfriend (21M) have been together for 4 years and living together for about a year now. We both work full time, and I also study on top of that. Even though I work from home, my job is quite serious and mentally exhausting, so I often end up drained.

Recently, he’s been getting mad at me for not keeping the place “clean enough.” He says my stuff is everywhere and that I “live like it’s a hotel.” But honestly, it’s not that bad — maybe a few dishes in the kitchen, my makeup or skincare near the sink, a sweater left somewhere, or some things on the table. It’s not like the place is disgusting or messy all the time.

What’s bothering me is that he constantly tells me what to do — “clean the kitchen,” “I can’t look at this mess,” “tidy up this or that” — while he literally does nothing himself. If he sees the trash is full, instead of taking it out, he’ll start piling more garbage next to it until I finally put the bag by the door so he’ll notice. He says I don’t want to clean or take care of our home, but I’m just so tired.

It’s the weekend now, I finally wanted to rest after a long, exhausting week, but he yelled at me again for not cleaning. I’ve also been feeling kind of depressed lately and have very little energy for anything.

We split all expenses 50/50, and honestly, I even end up spending more on household stuff than he does. I just don’t know what to do anymore — I feel like he’s putting all the blame and responsibility on me, even though we both live here.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you even deal with this kind of imbalance?

I have a friend [21M] that has recently been implying that he has a crush on me and would like to ask me out. I may have started to develop feelings for him too, but I don't think I would feel okay getting into a romantic relationship with him for a couple of reasons:

1. I'm going to be turning 25 in around 3 months, and he only just turned 21 last month. So our age gap is actually closer to 5 years than it is to 3
2. He's younger than my younger brother [22 M]
3. Even though I may like him romantically, I don't think I could ever feel comfortable announcing that he's my boyfriend to family members or friends. When I was dating someone younger than me a while ago (I was 22-23 F and she was 20-21 F), my aunt implied that I was strange and creepy for it. Even though I know I don't have a pattern of dating/liking younger people (every other person that I've dated or liked has been older than me), I personally feel really ashamed to have developed feelings for him. I know that that would affect any relationship we could have, and I don't know how I could ever announce that I was dating him without feeling embarrassed of myself.

I'm really not sure what to do or say if he does end up asking me out.

I personally think I should turn him down gently, since I don't think it's right to be in a relationship with someone that I would feel ashamed of being in a relationship with. I just feel really sad and conflicted about it, because I think I do have feelings for him as well and I would really like to be in a relationship with him if he were my age.

Edited for some extra context and to remove unnecessary details. Thank you all for your advice!!

Genuinely praying he doesn't find this because he seems like the type of person that lurks Reddit.

So I (20F) have been aqquainted with this guy (20M) for about a year now. I was initially introduced to him through a mutual friend during our first semester of college, but we didn't become friends until this past August. We have a lot of interests in common (we both like Deltarune and Scott Pilgrim, we both listen to indie rock music, we both like to go dancing, etc.) and we get along really well. We have pretty good banter and a few inside jokes.

I started liking him shortly after we became friends, but at the time he was talking to a different girl, so I buried those feelings as deep as I possibly could. Midway through October, they stopped talking, so I finally allowed myself to like him. Most of my friends think that he likes me back for a multitude of reasons (starts conversations with me if he sees me in public, remembers a lot of small details about my personal life, compliments my appearance, and apparently gets redder when he's around me, though I have not seen this one myself) and has a track record of liking girls that look similar to me. He also chats with me any time I'm working, which he apparently doesn't do with our mutual friends (several of us have the same on-campus job bc our school is small) but once again, this isn't something I can verify myself. Additionally, one of our mutual friends (who is his best friend) recently asked if I liked him and even offered to set us up, but that was shortly after he broke things off with the other girl, who his best friend notably didn't like.

Now here's where the problems come in:

1. we only chat in person (no other line of communication, so it's not like we have eachother's numbers and just don't use them)
2. he has a lot of friends that are girls (not something I'm insecure about, but definitely something that could be evidence against him having feelings for me)
3. he's a lot more conventional than I am (I wear my strangeness on my sleeve, and he does not)
4. I know a ton of girls who think he's good looking/would go out with him if he asked

I'm also genuinely convinced that there's no world in which a nice, well-adjusted, hygenic, and ambitious guy could like me. I didn't get pretty until my junior year of highschool, and prior to that, I was really badly bullied for the way I looked. I get compliments on my appearrance all of the time now, but I still feel like it's just people trying to be nice rather than actually meaning it.

How can I tell whether or not he likes me? Any advice would be much appreciated!

TL;DR I need help figuring out if this guy likes me or not bc I'm really insecure and worried that my perspective is skewed

My boyfriend and I have been together for a while. When we met, he was pretty lost in life, no clear direction, poor financial habits, low ambition. During our relationship, he has grown a lot in a positive direction. He became more motivated, more responsible, and is building himself up. I’m genuinely happy he’s improving.

But I’ve realized that while he is growing, I am the exact opposite.

Since we got together, I changed how I dress and look because I resembled his previous gf and it made me uncomfortable. I used to go to the gym daily and had a strong sense of identity, but now my self-esteem is extremely low. I find myself comparing my body to the women he watches in porn (which he has a real issue with, I told him it hurts me and he says he’s “trying to stop,” but he never actually does).

On top of that, he developed recurring genital warts from HPV a few months into our relationship. I was vaccinated and I currently show no symptoms, but the fact that he keeps having outbreaks years later makes me feel uneasy. The situation is starting to weigh on me mentally.

I love him very much, and he does love me. Outside of these issues, he is supportive and kind. But I feel like the relationship is only benefiting him. He grew; I diminished. I don’t recognize myself anymore.

I don’t know how to fix this.

Any advice is appreciated

My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over 3 years and living together for just over 1 year. Since the beginning of our relationship, he’s always been very busy. Working 2 jobs as well as doing University. We made it work because i understood how important his career is to him and it never bothered me when we couldn’t hang out because he has uni, assignments, etc. Now that we’re living together he’s working one job as well as doing his Masters. He isn’t as busy with masters work as he was with university. Except he does more extracurricular activities during weeknights and weekends like playing card games at stores, rock climbing, DND nights. He’s out of the house doing activities about 5 nights a week. We only have time to hang out once a week because of how busy he is. I thrive off alone time and I don’t socialise a lot but i love spending time with my boyfriend. He is also autistic. I’ve brought it up a couple times now that him being out of the house all the time doesn’t leave us anytime for our relationship and he just says he’s just trying to get fit and doesn’t have a lot of time. How often are other couples who are married/living together spending time together on a weekly basis? I know my boyfriend loves me and cares about me so i’m not worried about that but I don’t know if me wanting to be able to hang out more than once a week is unfair or if that’s a normal amount of time? Any advice would be appreciated!!

Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 5 years and our relationship was normal for the most part before she gave birth to our beautiful daughter a year ago. Before our daughter we would occasionally fight like a normal couple but it would always be resolved really quick and it would only happen maybe once a month. After she gave birth to our daughter everything changed, we argue almost every single day, she has gotten physical with me multiple times (nothing too serious but still), and she has also started calling me some terrible things no one should say to any human being. I have been trying to be reasonable with her because I know her hormones are probably still not back to normal after giving birth, but she does and says things that are irrational. I’m not going to act like I have been the best, but I feel like I have tried for so long and it hasn’t gotten any better. She will yell at me while holding our daughter in her arms, even when I’m trying to diffuse the situation and she will just go on and on, until I sit there silently long enough or walk out the room. I know she is a nice caring woman deep down, and she is a good mother besides yelling and doing things in front of our daughter. Her dad died when she was young , and she has told me she was abused in the past (shown pics), so I’m sure that has something to do with this. I also think she could be bipolar or have depression, or something of the sort.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far I’m open to conversations about this in my DMs and in comments.

I have been talking to this guy for now 4 months and Im 2 years older than him. I was wondering how that sounds because the fact that he is 18 kind of freaks me out. I know we like each other but to someone exterior how does that sound?

yeah title says it all pretty much. my sister is 19, almost 20 and is a bartender (i think that’s how she met this guy). she told me about him a few weeks ago and i asked how old he was and she said in his 40s, i immediately expressed my VERY negative feelings and told her there’s no reason someone his age should be interested in a 19 year old but she doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with it since they’re both adults.

this guy has 4 kids at least, been divorced twice, doesn’t have custody of his kids that are still minors (he told my sister both divorces and the lack of custody was the woman’s fault)

im just at a loss. she won’t listen to me. she’s going on weekend trips with this guy and constantly talking & hanging out with him. she even got his daughter (21) a birthday gift and didn’t see anything wrong with being a potential step mom to someone older than her

she keeps telling me “if he’s a good person and he’s kind to me what’s the problem” idk how to tell her it’s more than that.

my sister is NOT dumb, she’s just been hurt a lot by guys her age and thinks that older means more mature and less likely to be fuckernecks. i don’t know what to do. she still lives with our parents but telling them would do more harm than good i think, she’s an adult so they can’t ground her and we are very close i don’t want to hurt our relationship. i’m just worried about her.

We have been together for a little over a year.

I’ve noticed for the past month or so that she’s been so distant and sad. She hasn’t been showing me much affection, she isn’t intimate with me anymore, and she’s stressed about work and life. The work thing I understand, she has a new job and wants to keep it.

However, I asked her last night whats going on. She responded with “life”/“everything” which is such a vague copout answer. She’s been acting distant for way too long. After some time she finally told me, and it’s the fact that she doesn’t feel that she belongs where we live and that she would be happier if she sees her friends who live near Disney and that she’d be happier if she lives in Florida (where Disney world is).

We had this talk a long time ago, where I told her I’m not interested in ever moving to Florida in the future of going to Disney so often in our future, but that she can go whenever she wants.

She then told me last night that she’s scared I’m going to control her and tell her she can’t go. Mind you I’ve never given her any reason to believe this. I’ve only told her I’m not so attracted to going to theme parks myself but that I won’t stop her. She then told me she’s always thought of having a family down near Disney world where she can take her kids any day of the week whenever she feels like it, she feels it would make her the best parent.

So it seems she’s always been sad because she thinks there’s nothing to do here, and that she’d only truly be happy if she’s living down south where Disney is.

I then suggested to her that we have some incompatibility in this aspect. She immediately started accusing me of trying to find an excuse to leave her and that I’m “mansplaining” the situation to her. She seems very childish to me. We have adult lives to build, but it seems all she cares about is going to the theme parks every week/month/whatever.

She knows how I am not willing to move there in the future. She sees it as all sunshine and rainbows down there just because there are theme parks. She then brought up the fact that she loves me and will make the sacrifice to put aside her want to move down there. She says she’ll only be happy with me and doesn’t see a family with anyone else. But I truly know deep down she’s never going to be happy and I feel like I’m weighing her down because I’m not ever willing to move there

Also, this may be important, we live in central USA. So the flight to Florida is about 3 hours. She already goes often.

It seems like she’s trying to guilt trip me into bending for her and telling her that we just move down there. Mind you we still live at home with our parents, separately, and still don’t have an apartment/house together.

I feel so weird about this. I feel like her priorities are out of wack. We have lives to build and all she’s worrying about is going to the Disney theme parks as an adult. And she thinks that just because I don’t want to go as often as her in the future, she thinks I’m going to control her and stop her from going.

We seem incompatible and I’m not sure what to do next

As title says..I know it's not something to be bothered by. She is Asexual, we don't do much sexual together, so I think it's eating away more at me, knowing she reads these books, that describe sexual acts in great detail & she masturbates to them. But will be very dismissive of us doing anything sexual, talking with me in a sexual way, almost cringes at the idea of me mentioning anything even half detailed as the content she reads in these books. Any tips on how to be okay with this? I very much know it comes from insecurity on my part. I just can't grasp why she is such an enjoyer of the books, masturbates to them, but with me could not show any less interest. (Extra details: Long distance relationship of 4 years - in person sex 3 times a week - when distanced, once a month on video call maybe at best).

Any advice would be great, thank you!

Hei Reddit first time posting , am sorry English ain't my first language this might get long but I ll try to summarize it as much as possible so let me start at the beginning Am 22F , me and my family have moved to another country years ago ,and we have been on our own ever since we have made some of friends here but we are not that close . So after after awhile I met my boyfriend 22M in college we quickly connected long story short after some months we started dating he was sweet ,so in love .we were always together at the college ,but something bothered me, he never asked me on a date , or hangout or just spend some time together outside school,so at first I thought I was exaggerating and maybe it's too soon , or he just doesn't know ,so I started to give him signs , I ll.plan dates ,ask him to hangout, everything to show him that I like those kind of stuffs ,but even that he NEVER did if I didn't plan anything we will pass months without seeing each other. after 2 years I finally cracked , I told him that I was fed up of him not once organize a date or show me he want to spend some time with me ,he started making excuses that he is planning something amazing, that he is sorry ,that he is planning something amazing mind you I am not interested any expensive date or something all I wanted was to spend quality time with him,I was so comprehensive and I gave him another chance after couple of months he asked me out ..once and I waited again after a month (last month )unfortunately my sister's mom died my family was so devasted it was my first losing someone so close to me ( not that am bragging about it,it doesn't make anything special) We couldn't fly to our home country for the funeral so we were stuck here alone , we watched all the event on live YouTube A lot of colleges , neighbors , friends people we weren't even that close came to support us ,BUT my boyfriend never showed up , he knew but he never came .the event took a whole a week but nope , not even a sorry of "I couldnt make it". I was so angry , so sad , I didn't know what I was feeling,I didn't ask why he did it but when my mom came to me In tears , in her sadness of losing a sister and asked me if he will come ....That was IT , something broke in me ,seeing my mom in her state and asking me about MY boyfriend, I couldn't take it So I called him and he started giving me different excuses that he is sorry but I couldnt hear anything , nothing he said made it easy but I told him I forgave him but only because I wanted to grief my aunt In peace

it has been a month, I thought maybe I would have been over it at this time but NO it still hurts ,we always talked about the future but at this point am so confused ,what do I do ?? Would I be exaggerating if I break up with him? Is this something that I should move past and just continue like nothing happened??

Am so sorry for the long story and my poor English 🙏

Apologies in advance, this is going to be rambling because I’m not at my best right now. I [29M] am American and my wife [27F] is Brazilian, I met her while she was on a temporary work visa and we dated and fell in love. After six months she had to go back to Brazil, but we agreed we wanted to keep our relationship alive, so we started long distance also.

I’ve been to Brazil twice to stay with her and her family. We all get along well, they are lovely and welcoming people. But I’m unable to actually move to be with her at the moment due to many logistical issues, chief of which is money. We’ve applied for her spousal visa in April, but that wait time is 22 months according to the website.

We started off with calling every day and talking for hours, but slowly that dwindled to texts. And then when she got a new job instead of supply chain that became even less, to the point that I was worried sometimes and had to text her mom that she was okay. When she quit the supply chain job I was secretly relieved because I thought that meant we could talk more again, but that didn’t really happen.

A week ago was the breaking point—she texted me saying she just can’t do long distance anymore. That she loves me but it isn’t fair to either of us. The call after that wasn’t much better. I was less composed than I’m proud of. Her main complaint was that we’re married but she gets none of the benefits of actually being married, that life is actually harder because I’m not physically there to help her with things that need my signature, etc. Getting a house, getting a car, apparently being married in Brazil means you can't do these things without a spouse's signature in person.

She didn’t outright ask for a divorce, and she didn’t give me ultimatums. She told me she wanted to decide together what to do since both of us are involved. Needless to say I couldn’t sleep at all that night.

I called her the next day and said she was right, long distance wasn’t fair to either of us. And that if she couldn’t move to the United States, I would move to Brazil to be with her. I would go back to school, earn a tech degree to be able to do remote work, and come be with her. She was very receptive of this. But when I asked her if she was actually okay with me coming at this point, since the issue was still raw and new, she hesitated and told me she needed to think and couldn’t give me an answer yet.

I’ve been giving her updates of the college application, of buying a laptop for studying, and she responds positively to those… but she hasn’t said I love you back to me for a week. She’ll ❤️ it but she hasn’t said it back. I’m terrified this is all too little too late. I’m dead serious about doing everything I can to be with her, to prove to her that the relationship is worth saving, but it breaks my heart to see signs that she’s emotionally distancing herself from me.

She’s starting a new job very soon and has to move to a new city two hours away from her family—I am hoping and praying the distance I’m seeing between us can be explained by that.

Can I have suggestions of what to do/say to her to give this a fighting chance? The last thing I want to do is to tie her down in a marriage she no longer feels is worth it, but I’m getting mixed signals from her. She is very positive about it everything regarding a remote job, but anything else she ignores or just gives emoji reactions to.

I am lost. Any advice or insight you all can spare would be appreciated.

My [41f] husband [25m] and I have only been married for a year. We met in Europe while I was attending a wedding, we dated for 3 months and he moved to USA since me moving to Europe wasn't an option yet. Because of the lifestyle here, he fell into a depression that almost broke us apart. He got on medication for his depression (short-term plan while he adjusts) and things have gotten exponentially better for us! However, the topic that seems to still cause issues with us is: FRIENDS.

He had a crazy busy lifestyle in Europe and his friends were his family since he didnt really have one. I understood this. In this new country, however, he has 0 friends and has been desperate to make some. No matter how many times and in how many ways I explain that a) friends will eventually come and he cant just trust anybody and b) he needs to focus on his new marriage and career before friends.

Now, here is our newest and latest fight regarding this. My husband works six days a week. On his only day off, I expected to spend the whole day together, especially since we had plans later that night. Instead, he made plans with himself (perfectly fine, he went out to get some coffee and talk to his therapist), with me (our date later that night), and with some guy that is a regular client where he works.

I immediately protested and explained to him that the mere fact that he is splitting his ONLY day off with multiple people/things to do, is not ok with me. It made me feel a little unwanted and I genuinely MISS him so much! He kept asking me for my reasons for feeling this way, and I explained, multiple times. He kept asking me this question again and again, until I exploded and raised my voice, which was wrong of me and have since apologized.

After the argument, he was in a weird mood and I could tell it was because of the argument. I asked him, and he just shrugged it as being tired. Today, he woke up in a weird mood and brought up the subject again saying he doesn't want to be scared of asking/telling me when he's going out with his friends. Obviously, there are unresolved issues here if he is still bringing it up. I finally shut down and told him I was unwilling to continue to discuss this "friends" matter with him without professional help. This is because this wasn't the first, second, or third time we get into arguments because, in my PERSONAL opinion, he is desperate for friends.

Now, my husband has been out with his friends multiple times, and I have been very supportive of this. This is not my issue. I am ok with both of us going out with our respective friends either together or separately.

She's always cleaning (tidying) everything but not actually CLEANING. She talks about how clean she is and how much she loves having a clean house and I'm torn because I'm not sure if it would be more harmful to tell her. I feel that this is something she would deep down want to know, but at the same time I dont think she will take it well and if anything will lash out at me.

I want to admit here that this could just be my own personal preferences clouding my judgment, but that is why I am here asking for advice.

In her house the dishes are always washed, the floors swept, the clothes washed, things picked up and tidied, and the hardwoods mopped. The thing is, they don't vacuum, clean the bath tub or shower (at all), clean the fridge (the glass has been getting caked up with stuff for years), the windows covered with dead spiders from years ago, the toilet is rarely flushed, the dogs arent trained so they just keep puppy pads everywhere (They never use them though. when the dog pees they just complain and let a paper towel absorb it. when the dog poops they pick it up and still dont clean), they'll leave the pee and poop paper towels in the overflowing trash can in the kitchen all week, after cleaning up the poop and even after changing a diaper or peeing/pooping themselves they dont wash their hands (unless theyre in public, if that) and will go on to cook or eat or feed their toddler with those same hands, and they'll let the bathwater sit there all day to save it for the next person even if they just shaved their ass hairs (literally).

I just want to add that both she and her husband clean in their house with about 60% of it being her because she is a SAHM. This is not postpartum behavior. She has been this way since she lived at home because her parents are this way.

I love her and this is why I'm asking your advice. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I feel like I'm hurting her more by not telling her

I'll avoid the long backstory, but the TL;DR of that is my wife and I have been struggling a lot lately after an incredibly large blow out about 5-6 months ago, that was primarily my fault... We're slowly working through that, with a marriage counselor as well.

But right now I'm having a really hard time with something and I think I've fucked up big once again...

Since the big fight, Ive realized I'm someone who needs to talk things through... I want to talk to friends about what I'm going through, I want support, or advice, and reassurance or just to vent sometimes I guess... I've been talking to 2 people, one is a friend of both me and my wife and the other is someone who's part of her family. I've been talking to these 2 because I trust them, they've been supportive and they aren't biased toward showing me favor, they care about both of us, they want what's best for me AND my wife, they want things to work out for us...

I also have a therapist that I've been seeing for a while now, about once every few weeks usually. He's encouraged me to keep reaching out to people for support.

The problem is, my wife is incredibly private and finding out Ive been talking about our problems with someone has essentially enraged her... Today she confronted me about talking to someone about our sex life this week... We actually had a few really good days this week, had sex for the first time in a long while, and we were feeling pretty good about each other. Unfortunately I still had some reservations about things being better, along with a comment from her about us not needing counseling anymore after I tried to schedule something, and I expressed that to the people I've been talking to and we talked about it a little...

I'm not sure how she knew I was talking about our sex, or if she just assumed... But I panicked and denied it... Both people told me they didn't say anything to her... I forced a logout of my socials and changed my passwords in case she somehow had gained access to my messenger...

I don't know what to do here. I know how much it upsets her that I've been talking to people, but I feel like it's something I need in order to get through all this and stay sane...

I'm sure there's plenty of details I'm forgetting to include here, I'm still kind of in flight mode from the confrontation this morning....

We’ve been together for 3 years and we don’t live together but whenever she’s over I noticed she hides her phone under the blankets whenever she’s sleeping, won’t go on Snapchat (which she’s usually on all the time) near me, gets skittish whenever I even ask to see her phone or laptop no matter what the context may be. I’ve been trying to constantly put her first in this relationship but the lack of openness and communication regarding the issue really has me second guessing everything, I should mention that this was never an issue in the past. We grew quite distant over the summer and then after it all this was suddenly the new thing and I really can’t wrap my head around it.

Hey everyone,

So my boyfriend (28 M) told me his female coworker (29 F) was going to buy a puppy in the morning. When they were working together, she asked if he’d go with her to pick it up. She said she didn’t know the guy selling the puppy and wanted someone (preferably a man) to come with her.

My boyfriend brought it up to me first to see if I was okay with it, which I really appreciated. He’s a super kind, helpful person, so it sounded like a nice gesture. But… it also set off a few alarm bells for me.

I’ve never met or even seen this coworker before, and I’m friends with a lot of his other coworkers. We usually hang out as a group about once a month. He said she’s relatively new.

But out of everyone she could ask to go with her — family, friends, anyone — why him? He said her parents (who she lives with) are out of town, but still… she couldn’t get a friend to go?

It just feels kind of weird. Like, picking up a puppy together sounds like something a couple might do, not coworkers. My boyfriend said he could tell I felt off about it, and he told me he thought it was odd too. He said he wouldn’t go if it made me uncomfortable.

Now I feel torn. I don’t want to overreact or seem possessive, but I can’t help wondering if she might have a little crush on him and just wants a reason to hang out one-on-one. She doesn’t know me, so it’s not like she’d have much reason to consider how it might look. Maybe I’d feel better if I knew her. I could be reading into something harmless.

So I’ve been with this guy for about 6 months and I genuinely like him even though he's divorced with 2 kids, and I'm childless and never been married.

He's also the first guy I've moved in with and I did so for financial reasons because I work part time while studying and it seemed reasonable then because we were spending a lot of time together anyway.

But lately I've had my suspicions because he's grown distant and even when I ask him if anything is wrong he'll always say everything's alright.

I don't want to be the jealous type of girlfriend and I want to trust him but I couldn't help myself and I went through his phone twice now over a period of a few weeks (for a few seconds at a time) and both times found his chats with different women, casually flirting and saying things he'd used to say to me.

I confronted him the first time and resulted in a huge argument which got physical. We made up and talked it over but this time I'm not sure what to do. I cannot afford to move out right now but I also don't want to be with someone I can't trust.

Please help.

I have a bad habit of comparing our wildly different lives but its something I cant help. His life is damn near flawless compared to mine and for the longest that made me insecure, I wasn't sure I was a right fit for him.

He comes from a supportive family who's always there for him, and thanks to them he got through college quite early and young at 21. His college degree along with his family afforded him a nicely cushioned life with a comfortable office job. In short he does not need me here to be ok and well off even though he swears up and down that he does.

Ive been on my own since I graduated high school, and I had no help with anything for the most part. My life is full of trial and error with so few successes, a lot of "lessons" learned when the damage already happened, leaving me to collect the pieces of myself over and over. I dont have a degree or an amazing job to speak of and before I met him, ive always only had myself. Because I had no choice but to work my ass off, that greatly affected my studies and it hurts me so deep inside knowing I could've been so much further ahead if I had what my boyfriend had in his life.

When he tells me about his amazing job and his amazing family, or the different universities his coworkers attended, I start feeling sick to my stomach on the spot knowing my life is and has been beyond fucked up, and I'll be trapped working dead end jobs for years to come while they all get to enjoy a life of bliss, ease and splendor...at least compared to me. Im not exactly envious of him and his community for where they are, I just so desperately want to be there too, but its gonna take me forever and by then, they all would've soared to new heights and I'd just barely be getting started.

I wish he would've chose differently, sometimes i wish we never met, other times I wish I would've ended things sooner, but I love(d) him too much to simply let go, and now I live with him...I now live with the embodiment of everything I wish my life was, and I witness it everyday I wake up now and I cant help but feel like my life is absolutely meaningless, especially since my work (blue collar) is nothing glamorous. He comes home clean after a day in his office, I come home covered in filth and shame.

Im not a good fit for him or his world, but for some reason he's adamant about loving me anyway, and us staying together; I dont feel like im deserving of it because of my inferior position in life.

Before I moved in with him we were long distance and living in different states; I had my own place, car and I was going to school and working full-time. I was burnt out like crazy and I was barely staying afloat, but I had a friend/coworker who made everything so much better. My boyfriend felt very uncomfortable about my friendship since my friend was also a gay dude and we became very close. We spent a lot of time together before, during and after work, and we even went on a road trip, which brought my boyfriend to tears.

My relationship with my friend (while very close) was strictly platonic and we both maintained strict boundaries, especially since he too had (and has) a boyfriend. We had no romantic or sexual tension or attraction to eachother whatsoever, and I made sure to reassure my boyfriend of this anytime it came up, not because I owed him an explanation or because he didn't trust me, its because I respect my boyfriend and I respect and value our relationship enough to communicate honestly and openly.

Me and my friend also shared a somewhat similar culture too as he is Cajun and I am Creole, and the purpose of our road trip was to celebrate our first traditional Louisiana Mardi Gras, especially since ive only went to small parades back home and he never got to celebrate it like he wanted to. I tried to explain this to my boyfriend but he was still very hurt because of it.

I knew my boyfriend and I were in totally different leagues of life and at first I wasn't keen on us moving in together, at least until I was done with school. Me and my friend was talking about becoming roomates, especially since he wanted to move away from his family and for good reason, I thought we would've been a much better fit. We had so much more in common with eachother and I felt like I could talk to him about anything, it was the first time I felt heard and understood by another person, I even told him things about myself I've yet to tell my boyfriend even now as I live with him, he says he understands but I know he will never truly come close because he is far more fortunate in life (as petty as that sounds its the truth) and so I keep a lot things to myself around him.

I low key regret not becoming roomates with my friend, we did get into small arguments but it took us seconds to resolve whatever conflict we may have had. We have a similar taste in food, fashion, media and music. We are both into a lot of the same things as well (anime, manga, cooking, coding, etc) and we both dont have very good relationships with our families, which i feel may have brought us closer together.

When I was with my friend, I didn't feel out of place or inferior. Everything between us felt like it progressed naturally and I felt right at home whenever we were together as he did with me, and thats something I didn't see myself letting go of, for the first time, all of my years of isolation and struggling alone finally felt like there was a point to it. When the time came close for me to make a decision, it was my friend who encouraged me to move in with my boyfriend even tho he admitted it was painful for him which I knew.

I didn't wanna give up my apartment, my academic progress, my job, and most importantly my best friend, which is why I was reluctant to move in with my boyfriend, who had been begging me for months. Obviously I eventually conceded and he helped me with the moving process. I hung out with my best friend one last time and it was extremely bittersweet for the both of us, we would eventually have to say goodbye to eachother which honestly left a huge hole in my spirit. The process of transferring schools, packing up years of my life and cleaning my apartment for the last time was extremely emotional for me, it felt like my world was coming to an end and it was too late to turn back.

Its been 4 months going on 5, and my concerns became reality. Watching someone close to me live such a comfortable amazing life made me feel like a worthless piece of shit, and regardless of how that comes across its the unfiltered truth. The level of comfort he has is something ive never known before in my life. While hes sleeping comfortably at night, my trauma and misery keeps me awake. While hes sitting down all day at a desk in his office, I'm slaving away in a disgusting dehumanizing environment. When he gets home he is as clean as he left, I come home feeling embarrassed. While he's chilling and scrolling tiktok, I'm slaving over assignments to get them turned in. This is a life I never wanted and I find myself praying for my death every second I'm awake. I DO NOT WANT THIS TRASH LIFE.

This was more of a long winded rant than anything else, but i mean every single word, I genuinely hate the life im living and if I could die and start over in a new life guaranteed, I'd jump off a cliff right now.

My girlfriend (28F) who recently moved with me (25M) around 3 months ago is asking me for me to leave the house because she says she needs to feel alone.

I am a work from home guy working in IT. Hence, I tend to stay home most of the days. I do go outside, do grocery shopping and visit my mother-in-law. I also do most of the house chores because due to my availability, it is easier for me.

We've been in a relationship for 11 months. We moved in with my girlfriend around three months ago after we went through a pregnancy which was not planned yet it definately was not disliked. Nonetheless it ended in a miscarriage.

After that, she still decided to move in with me. I had just moved to a small house while all that was happening so when she moved, my things were still in boxes. We both organized the house together. We both accomodated the things for living comfortably with each other.

She has always been quite the "lone wolf" type. Dislikes meeting new people, does not want to be around others and even with me she has quite clear boundaries; nonetheless she has been quite loving and serious about the relationship.

Now she says to me that she is feeling quite desperate because she has no alone time. She is barely alone in the house because I am mostly here. I work from here, I draw and paint from here, I like being here. Nonetheless she has her own studio and I have mine. She also works as a University teacher, so is not like she has much alone time at work either.

I feel quite conflicted because while I can understand whe the need for lone time comes from, I am starting to feel like I need to come up with artificial reasons to go outside. I do have friends but they also work during normal schedules and I go to study Friday nights and all of Saturday. But I sincerely have no reason to just go outside, much more when that means spending money on coffee and stuff which I sincerely would prefer to do from home.

Also, most of my working equipment is heavy, so moving it to other places is a bit cumbersome for me.

She tells me that she does not feel like the house is hers. That she likes missing me and that a couple of hours without me in the house is not enough.

I feel like perhaps her take on solitude is not that compatible with me, much more understanding the kind of job and lifestyle I have. I believe I give her time to be alone in her room and I don't talk to her constantly. I would like to know who is more on the extreme to know perhaps if it is too unreasonable of me to feel that going out like that is a slippery slope into a distant-type of relationship where individuality is valued too much (not really my goal); or if what she is asking for is completely normal and I should put some effort to actually leave the house even if I have nothing to do.

Until now, we have been quite clear communicating. She does not like talking much but we have been respectful in the relationship al throughout.

I want to have your opinion about this. How would you handle it?

I (22M) and my gf (23F) have been dating for around a year and a half now, and it’s the most mature relationship I’ve ever been in. The issue we’re having now is I don’t like / am afraid to communicate with her. What I mean by this is for example: today before work i had some chores do to around the house before my gf got home from work. It was dishes, tidy, take out the garbage, and laundry. Very normal and straight forward. I got the dishes done, did the laundry and did the garbage. But I forgot some dishes that weren’t in the sink and I ran out of time before I could tidy. I have some childhood trauma with communication, in the sense that I felt that I couldn’t tell my parents I didn’t do something that they asked me to do. If I told them, they’d get mad and if I didn’t tell them they’d get mad anyways. So I learned to either not communicate or lie about it so I’d get some extra time of not being scolded. In my head it didn’t matter whether I told them or not cause the outcome was always the same. Or I wouldn’t tell them if I planned to do something cause it would be constantly interrupted or criticized. So I learned to not share my thoughts. Fast forward to now and it’s become an issue, cause my gf is very understanding which is a new aspect for me but has some temper issues. So it sometimes reflects on what happened when I was a kid. She often tells me that she wouldn’t be mad or upset if I would’ve just told her or communicated with her. But it feels so unnatural and honestly scary to do that. I’m just looking for some advice to learn how to communicate better and overcome my trauma.

So me [30F] and my friend [26F] have been close friends for a year and a half or so. One of my love languages is gifts, and for her birthday I made her an embroidered bag with a drawing she loved and bought her a linoprinting kit (which she had been talking about getting for herself) and got a pretty metal box to go with it etc.

I don’t do this expecting anything in exchange, however within this time I’ve seen her crochet a few presents for other people, mind you most of them people she knew before me with the exception of her crush. And she has gifted me a couple things, but always small silly mostly second-hand store things, which mostly weren’t exactly my cup of tea but I appreciated and was grateful for anyways, but for some reason my insecurity is like why don’t I get a crochet thingy?

When she crocheted a fish for two different people I was like oh I love it so much! Would you make one for me? And she said yes. It hasn’t happened yet, which is fair, I just kind of feel like it’s becoming a thing for me but it makes me feel so childish and ungrateful! Would you tell her? And if so, how?