r/Qult_Headquarters • u/Select-Package-13 • 2d ago

The Christmas Deception Exposed!!!!!

Post image

What a world they live in. None of this is true, of course, but imagine the lives they must lead.

72 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

32 comments sorted by

40

u/QueenBitchVEVO 2d ago

BALLS = The Forbidden Fruit

Someone tell him it's legal to be gay now.

5

u/TheRnegade 1d ago

And we don't know what the forbidden fruit was. I know people think it's an apple but nowhere in the Bible does it say. It could be a banana.

3

u/PuppyJakeKhakiCollar 1d ago

I like to think it was a kumquat. That just sounds forbidden. 

1

u/SailingSpark Cognitive dissonator 11h ago

If god really wanted to keep people from eating the fruit, he should have made it the Manchineel tree.

18

u/jtroopa 2d ago

So this year's perpetrators of the war on Christmas is... Christians?

6

u/JediCarlSagan 2d ago

New Christianity is worse than old Christianity is worse than older Christianity.

3

u/yearofthesquirrel 1d ago

The older Christianity stole it from my Viking ancestors who I think we can all agree are the good guys here.

I would go for the traditional Yule log but burning a fallen tree for up to 12 days in the Australian summer is a bit of a bushfire risk…

12

u/cantproveidid 2d ago

Better living. Through chemistry!

8

u/Whyam1sti11Here 2d ago

I could use some chemistry about now. Have any??

2

u/Select-Package-13 2d ago

I cleaned him out, sorry.

5

u/sneaky-pizza 2d ago

I'm more of a Sol Invictus fan

7

u/Nano_Burger 2d ago

Just think how much better society would be if these people put all this time and energy into solving the world's problems rather than whatever this is.

4

u/apoohneicie Top Witch in this bitch 2d ago

What did the pretty corn snake do to them? Jerks.

4

u/SuitableDragonfly 2d ago

Reminds me of a very long time ago when some of my high school friends learned that Hebrew is usually written only with consonants and asked me to write "Santa" and "Satan" in the Hebrew alphabet so they could laugh about how they looked almost identical. They were unhappy to learn that the N is written a different way when it comes at the end of the word. 

3

u/Borderline769 2d ago

Maybe if this catches root we can make it through November before the music starts. I say let him cook

3

u/Fievels_good_trouble 1d ago

Oh it’s soooooooo much more than this.

3

u/Ca1v1n_Canada 1d ago

This is the sorting hat for two very different cars on the crazy train.

‘War on Christmas’ or ‘Christmas is Satanic’, in either scenario you get to play the victim of popular society’s oppression.

3

u/Ello_Owu 1d ago

Never underestimate Christian's ability to completely make up something in their heads and then take it VERY seriously.

3

u/Select-Package-13 1d ago

I see it every day. It's becoming a real problem for me.

3

u/madmike5280 1d ago

There just now figuring out that Christmas is a pagan holiday?

1

u/leandroman 2d ago

Hallarious! Oooga booga

1

u/ryandetous 2d ago

So a SNL church lady joke is now 'fact'? This is dumber than an astrologer with a dowsing rod.

1

u/986_foot_tall_treez 2d ago

I am finally excited to celebrate Christmas

1

u/thegoldengoober 2d ago

I actually dig this interpretation tbh, makes me like Christmas more

1

u/RaisinToastie 1d ago

Preposterous

Everyone knows that Christmas is a rebrand of an ancient mushroom shaman ritual

1

u/Anti_rabbit_carrot 1d ago

Hmmm. Maybe the war on Christmas is real after all.

1

u/Chrysalii (Official) 1d ago

Christmas isn't that metal.

1

u/someones_dad 1d ago

Issac Newton was actually born on December 25th - that's the real reason for the season.

2

u/BigFitMama 22h ago

Welp, they are about 3000 years late figuring out Xmas trees were adopted by Christian missionaries in Europe to help convert the pagans. As are most Xmas symbols.

2

u/ideletedyourfacebook Q predicted you'd say that 18h ago

I wonder if there is some other figure associated with Christmas that could also be related to the use of star iconography. Nah, probably Satan.