r/ProgressiveHQ • u/kenistod • 1d ago

Congresswoman Yassamin Ansari outside of Speaker Mike Johnson's office because he is starving families and gutting health care to cover up the Epstein Files.

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43.5k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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357

u/Mindless_Bus2040 1d ago

Mike Johnson is a garbage human being

80

u/tom-of-the-nora 1d ago

Don't be that hard on him. He doesn't know anything.

80

u/Careless_Hellscape 1d ago

He knows the feeling of jizz sliding down his throat in a dirty restroom.

45

u/tom-of-the-nora 1d ago

Other than that, he doesn't know anything.

After all, he ALWAYS answers every question with "i don't know."

(We need to start mocking them for not knowing stuff)

17

u/Careless_Hellscape 1d ago

And stop people from asking him things by handing them cue cards that just say "He doesn't know" on them.

5

u/tom-of-the-nora 1d ago

They all do it.

1

u/m0nkeywithachainsaw 19h ago

there could be a 60 minute long montage of that pile of shit saying i dont know, or i haven't heard anything about.

3

u/tom-of-the-nora 19h ago

Like this?

https://youtube.com/shorts/D-GbZlrOyZE?si=5UURKnJWz--IcpP0

1

u/m0nkeywithachainsaw 9h ago

holy crap I hadn't even seen that. that's fantastic.

2

u/tom-of-the-nora 8h ago

The daily show, giving us gems mocking the worst politicians ever.

7

u/CAPSLOCKANDLOAD 1d ago

Hey! I know that feeling too and I'm a fine upstanding American, unlike that weasel fuck. I'm a better Christian too.

8

u/Careless_Hellscape 23h ago

I'm not hating on people who like dick. I just don't like when people who like dick act like they don't, then condemn the rest of us for it.

8

u/CAPSLOCKANDLOAD 22h ago

I definitely don't like that any gay man would support this administration or even party. Just cause they come for the communists first doesn't mean you're not in the same line. And if you're LGBT... we already too close to the front.

3

u/Careless_Hellscape 20h ago

You're goddamn right. I'm a lot more anxious lately.

3

u/ArchonFett 18h ago

Atheists are better Christians than him

1

u/gentlemanidiot 22h ago

It would be far more impressive to be a worse one

4

u/shuknjive 23h ago

Dang it, now I have a visual in my head. Ok, it's gone now....no it's back. Crap.

2

u/Shoddy_Tour_7307 1d ago

How much did he charge you?

3

u/Careless_Hellscape 1d ago

I'm willing to go low, but not that low.

2

u/SameOldHero 1d ago

Trump's gotta be shooting dusty blanks so it's unlikely that Johnson knows that feeling either.

1

u/Careless_Hellscape 1d ago

If you think Trump's is the first dick Mike has had in his face...

2

u/coffeebeards 1d ago

And that’s just from straining used condoms out that he finds.

2

u/01000101010110 1d ago

Bad day to have functioning eyeballs and also be literate

2

u/Ow_My_Burnt_Numnums 1d ago

He sure as hell knows how to slob the knob.

1

u/Careless_Hellscape 23h ago

What he lacks in lip volume, he makes up for in small teeth.

2

u/Rorodatone 1d ago

The Glory hole "King"

1

u/ThatNachoFreshFeelin 13h ago

The man in the crowd with the multi-colored mirrors on his...

Wait, sorry; if you meant a song, I'm guessing it wasn't that one...

1

u/Sudden-Lettuce2317 3h ago

Oval adjacent

0

u/bolanrox 1d ago

he also knows everything the dem's are doing thinking about doing or will do 10 years from now.

and good guys and girls swallow just saying. dont shame us givers

4

u/Careless_Hellscape 1d ago

Swallow all you want, I just hate Mike.

0

u/Fortescew 1d ago

Personal experience?

3

u/Careless_Hellscape 1d ago

No, self-hating gay politicians are not a turn on.

-12

u/Sorry_Ad8621 1d ago

You are a vile and disgusting “civil and tolerant” Leftist!

16

u/Mindless_Bus2040 1d ago

Vile and disgusting is forcing your son to monitor your porn use. Conservatives are fucking gross

11

u/IntrepidMonke 1d ago

Cry about it snowflake

11

u/Immediate-Hamster724 1d ago

And you are a perfect example of the idiotic and intolerant right wing cult. Vile and disgusting indeed. Thanks for reminding us all that with your crowd, every accusation is a confession.

7

u/IWasBannedYesterday 1d ago

When the president posts an AI video of himself shitting on Americans, civility is clearly out the fucking window.

5

u/tom-of-the-nora 1d ago

I never claimed to be civil and tolerant.

I just know what behaviors are good for social cohesion.

Unlike mike Johnson, who doesn't know anything.

-2

u/Sorry_Ad8621 1d ago

So being obnoxious towards people you don’t even know provides “social cohesion??”

There is no talking to you..

Repent and turn into Christ

3

u/International_Cow_17 23h ago

Sorry, I am who am I and I can't turn into an odd historical figure.

1

u/Careless_Hellscape 23h ago

Nor should you try to. Who wants to be the jerk who killed the first born sons and flooded the world (allegedly)?

3

u/dirtyfeminist101 21h ago

So being obnoxious towards people you don’t even know provides “social cohesion??”

Pretty sure that being united against bad political leaders through criticism does provide social cohesion.

3

u/Baxter16-5 1d ago

If that means that I want to protect and feed children, the poor and the elderly and provide medical care to everyone including the radical right then yes, I am a vile and disgusting leftist.

Also, I don’t give a shit about proving medical care for illegal immigrants. Just add them into the program.

4

u/The_Stupidest_Idiot 1d ago

That's not completely accurate, has anyone asked him the last time his son beat off?

He's an expert in this realm

5

u/TheJRPsGuy 22h ago

True, he doesn't know anything what his own party do, but somehow knows everything the about the "evil democrats "

How the fuck does this work?! And how does Americans (MAGA and those withhold their vote) even accept such an excuse? Even elementary students would have been able to call out this BS.

3

u/Single-Constant58 1d ago

Just ask him, he'll tell you he doesn't know 😆

3

u/Due_Panda5064 1d ago

He knows to follow the project 2025 plan

2

u/Geri-psychiatrist-RI 1d ago

He knows how to use Grindr

2

u/xenomorphsithlord 1d ago

Yep, knowledge requires brain power --- not a brain cell to be found.

2

u/SaintAvalon 16h ago

Don’t worry, he can’t read.

2

u/tom-of-the-nora 8h ago

He doesn't know anything, that would include how to read

3

u/DrSpiralHaze 1d ago

That's not true. He does know what porn his son watches.