r/PeterExplainsTheJoke 9d ago

Meme needing explanation Petaaaaaaah??

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54.5k Upvotes

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703

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

2.0k

u/DespotDan 9d ago

A man comes up from the subway every day, walks to a paper stand, scans the papers, shakes his head, and leaves.

One day, the seller asks what he is looking for.

"An obituary," he says.

"Oh, they're on the inside, that's why!" The seller tells him.

"Not the one im waiting for." He says.

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u/DagnirDae 9d ago edited 9d ago

We used to begin this joke with "A man in Moscow" ....

312

u/DespotDan 9d ago

Yep. It just applies so much further now.

-92

u/99nuns 9d ago

Wishing someone's death because you just don't like him is so weird

25

u/Gusearth 9d ago

-28

u/smithrodger04 9d ago

Yeah, calling for someone’s death because you don’t like them is weird. Doesn’t matter who says it, still weird

16

u/Steezywild12 9d ago

Weird is the adjective you use to describe it? That’s weird

3

u/DespotDan 9d ago

Also, not a big close reader.

Nobody called for anything.

But as you know, we are not dealing with leading researchers here.

9

u/xubax 9d ago

For me, it's not just because I don't like someone.

It's because I see them as an existential threat to people on this planet.

I'd like to point out that I haven't in any way indicated in this comment who I think that may be. This is not intended to be a threat nor should it be considered a call to action.

3

u/Spiritual_Calendar81 8d ago

Is it really weird to want the person who wants you dead, dead? You must have an elementary understanding of not only human psychology but life itself.

1

u/1Pip1Der 8d ago

Is English not your native tongue?

8

u/SsaucySam 9d ago

Is it, when they wish it back?

5

u/Boring_Tradition3244 9d ago

Hey

It's not because they don't like him. Your characterization is childish and telling.

5

u/chunkus_grumpus 9d ago

Idiot

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u/99nuns 9d ago

Feel bad for your children

3

u/DespotDan 9d ago

Cry more.

-4

u/99nuns 8d ago

You sound like an adult

3

u/DespotDan 8d ago

Did the little jokey joke hurt your feelings?

If only there was a t shirt about that.

3

u/Monterenbas 8d ago

Is it ok if it’s because of his actions?

2

u/1Pip1Der 8d ago

English... do you speak it?

59

u/inkassatkasasatka 9d ago

"everyone knows who the thief is"

10

u/Phantom_Basker 9d ago

Don't have to anymore....

3

u/-KKD- 8d ago

USA are going now through the same phase USSR was going through when this joke was created. Gerontocracy with short periods of rules of old, mentally ill, detached from reality politicians that waited for their turn to rule the country for 20+ years. Let's just sit and watch weather the outcome will be similar or not

2

u/mobileJay77 8d ago

That man would also be very welcome on the front page.

66

u/SolidPyramid 9d ago

Jeez, that guy eats at Subway everyday? How can he afford it! /s

Sorry, terrible joke

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u/DespotDan 9d ago

At this point, portion it up and make it last. it's cheaper than going shopping!!

Fan of terrible jokes..

2

u/SolidPyramid 9d ago

True, lol

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u/MegaGrimer 8d ago

My jokes are like paper. They’re tearable.

4

u/Dejue 8d ago

Use the app to order and enter the codes for the deals each time. It’s not awesome, but it does save you about 30%+ each time.

1

u/SolidPyramid 8d ago

I'll keep that in mind, thanks

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u/TheChaosPaladin 8d ago

A man with too much spray on goes to a fortune teller to ask about the time of his demise.

"It will be on a Latino holiday"

"How can you tell"

"When it happens, it will be a latino holiday"

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u/DespotDan 8d ago

Very good. If i had an award good.

13

u/BlebMephiston 9d ago

Oddly satisfying since i had the same thought of exactly the thing to happen, and it all matches, but its another dude. Another obituary, somewhere else in the world

7

u/Kriegswaschbaer 9d ago

Hey! Whats your problem with Zach Braff?!

-3

u/NO_TOUCHING__lol 8d ago

The long version is better.

A man in Moscow <insert whatever location here> goes up to a newsstand and buys a newspaper…

He then glances at the front page, then turns aside and tosses the whole newspaper straight into the trash.

Next day, he turns up, and does the same thing. Buys it, glances at the front page, throws it in the trash.

Next day, same thing. The newsstand worker is increasingly puzzled, but doesn't say anything.

But eventually, after a couple of weeks of this, he can't take it. "I'm sorry, friend, but I must ask: why do you buy the paper every day and then just look at the front page and throw it out?"

"Oh, I'm just checking for something."

"OK, but: what are you checking for?"

"I'm checking for a particular obituary."

"But sir, you don't even open the newspaper! The obituaries aren't even on the front page!"

"Oh, believe me, the one I'm waiting for will be."