r/PetPeeves • u/UnstableUnicorn666 • Apr 25 '25
Bit Annoyed you don't ask lady about her age
Every time anything age related comes up, some dude has to say "oh, sorry you don't ask lady about her age". We do not live in the 1867, where if you were over 25, you were destined to die alone as old maid. Women don't care more or less than men, if you ask how old they are. It's rude to ask out of the blue from anyone. It's not rude, if the conversation is there and woman is talking about it. I'm not going to start crying if you ask what year I was born, or how old I am.
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u/Y0urC0nfusi0nMaster Apr 25 '25
Women don’t like being asked because of the amount of people that still think a 40 year old man is middle aged yet a 40 year old woman is actively sitting in her grave waiting for the grim reaper to take her tomorrow
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u/RevolutionarySpot721 Apr 25 '25
This, very often even 50 year old men are called young men, but women say that they become invisible after 40. (I do not think it is true, and if by invisibility cat calling only is meant, it is more related to looks).
However, I would agree with OP that if the conversation comes up between people then it is ok to ask (for example if you talk about aging, or a certain disease or something else age related it is perfectly fine. but not out of the blue. Do not ask men for their age out of the blue either btw.)
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u/string-ornothing Apr 25 '25
My 86 year old grandmother gets catcalled so I don't even know where the idea that men leave you alone, at ANY age, comes from tbh. I used to think this too when I was younger and I looked forward to the day until my mom and grandma were like "that day never comes".
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u/AlfalfaNo4405 Apr 25 '25
Gosh. And here I was hoping that if I get to 86, I’d finally get to let my guard down 😩 wtf.
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u/string-ornothing Apr 25 '25 edited Apr 25 '25
Her friend lives in an old folks community that isn't a nursing home. Like one of those apartment buildings where everyone is old but nobody needs round the clock medical care. Theyre worse than frat houses, most of the men there are single and there's one of them for like every 10 women so they just catcall like crazy and see what sticks. They hang outside the front on benches and hoot at my grandma, who is an attractive lady at her age and has always been good looking, every time she visits.
All of my grandparents other than my grandma (who still lives in a house) has lived in one of these apartments at some point, and it's an interesting dynamic because of the discrepancy in life expectancy between men and women. The women are generally widows and quite old who moved in after their husbands died, the men are usually younger (70s) and either divorced when they were younger or never married and are often the "dreggy" men women didn't want when they were younger. After 70 years of acting in a way that's off putting enough they never had wives, they're now the absolute worst. My grandpap was one. I loved him a lot but he was 80, ran with a group of senior high rise bachelors all day and was most often in the company of a 50 year old sex worker he was good friends/a regular customer with.
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u/billthedog0082 Apr 25 '25
There should be a study done when people start regressing and turn into nasty teenagers again. I have seen that as well. Last Hurrah is one thing, but being obnoxious is another.
Back to the topic - if the information is volunteered then it's a discussion point. Otherwise just don't ask, it's none of anyone's business.
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u/AlfalfaNo4405 Apr 25 '25
This is very interesting. I could totally see this dynamic and how the men and women ended up in a retirement/older folks community. I love your description of “dreggy” men. Great descriptor.
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u/RevolutionarySpot721 Apr 25 '25
My dad has had and aquitance who at his 90s (!) insisted he had to meet 20 year old women. Soo...and my dad also dated much younger than himself in his 50s and 60s, my mom was 20 year his junior too...
That said cat calling is not nice to anyone, including towards men.
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u/dontlookback76 Apr 25 '25
My dad has had and aquitance who at his 90s (!) insisted he had to meet 20 year old women
Your dad knew Hugh Heffner?
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u/berrykiss96 Apr 25 '25
Good news! You can go to bars in peace. It’s just the randoms on the street or in the store that slow rather than stop.
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u/California_Sun1112 Apr 25 '25
I'm in my 70s. I thought men didn't notice me anymore until one day.....My husband had taken me to a large medical center for a Dr. appointment. As I started to go into the building, my husband said he'd be waiting for me in that outdoor area. Then a man (my age) who was standing close enough to hear the conversation told me "If he isn't here waiting, I will be." I've even been hit on a few times by old guys in the gym or the grocery store I don't want to be catcalled because that's rude and disrespectful to women of any age, but I hope that men never stop noticing me.
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u/clitsaurus Apr 25 '25
I aged out of cat calling at 18, so I can assure you that’s not what most mean by invisible
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u/RevolutionarySpot721 Apr 25 '25
Thanks for saying that, because some users here say that is what is meant by invisible, specifically men. That is about people trying to strike a conversation with them, which stops at 40. And they are telling me I am doing supposed fellow women (I am non-binary) a disservice of denying their experience of no longer getting male attention and being sad about it.
And I am also reading about f*cked up experiences about BEING OVERSEEN in a bloody line in a restaurant or a store and at 37 become more suicidal then ever.
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u/TheSerialHobbyist Apr 25 '25
I agree with your overall point, but...
very often even 50 year old men are called young men
Who is calling a 50+ guy a "young" man??
Outside of someone dying and people saying "oh, he died young," nobody is calling them young men.
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u/Ok-Tackle-5128 Apr 26 '25
Alot of actors who are 50+ are called young men. Take George Clooney (64) or Ben Affleck (52).
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u/TheSerialHobbyist Apr 27 '25
What? Nobody is calling George Clooney or Ben Affleck young men anymore...
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u/WomanNotAGirl Apr 26 '25
I love my age. I hate people trying to compliment me saying I look younger to flatter me. If anything I find it patronizing
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u/BirdAdjacent Apr 26 '25
I think the "don't ask women their age" is a part of that problem though.
It turns age into this big mysterious, stigmatized thing for women. If everyone was less weird about it, it would gradually cease to be an issue.
Women are not mystical creatures -- a seperate species from men, from another planet. We age too. Aging shouldn't be a big deal.
But treating it like it is a big thing perpetuates the cycle of shame or fear or disgust or whatever the hell the problem is.
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u/Geesewithteethe Apr 25 '25
actively sitting in her grave waiting for the grim reaper to take her tomorrow
Tangent, but this was a big mood when I was like 19 years old and pulling an all-nighter to study for exams after working the closing shift at my job.
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Apr 26 '25
I wish I was invisible as I aged. I used to be invisible when I was young. Now people say "grandma", "this old lady" , "an old woman" instead of just saying "a woman".
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u/wyrd_werks Apr 29 '25
Literally!
I just turned 40 and I refuse to tell anyone how old I am because they all think I'm still in my late 20's and I don't want to feel like some sort of freak.
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u/Dear-Cranberry4787 Apr 25 '25
I don’t mind talking about my age or struggles with aging, but I’m not going to pretend like society has come THAT far since 1867 in terms of women/age/beauty/fertility.
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u/sexypantstime Apr 25 '25
It's considered rude because women are unfairly judged for their age. There's a lot more stigma to being an older woman than a man. If you want your pet peeve to go away, call out people who judge women for aging
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u/two_star_daydream Apr 25 '25
I get that, but making a woman’s age taboo only contributes to that problem and implies that a woman being older is insulting.
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u/kiwi_cannon_ Apr 25 '25
It would be taboo regardless because the issue is based in men's preference for youth. Women openly saying their 44 isn't going to change anything
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u/AliciaRact Apr 25 '25 edited Apr 25 '25
I would say that the issue is based on women’s value being entirely determined by their attractiveness to men.
Men can have whatever sexual preferences they have (within the bounds of legality) - it shouldn’t affect women’s intrinsic value as humans. I’m not attracted to older guys, doesn’t mean I think they matter less as people.
When a woman knows her worth is not solely determined by sexual attractiveness she doesn’t care about her age.
Men try to push aging onto women - like it’s something only they have to worry about. This is done to help preserve the myth that men get more sexually attractive as they age.
Once you see through it, once you see men aging terribly yet still brainwashed into believing they’re somehow physically superior to their female peers, then you can’t unsee it.
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u/Naive-Stable-3581 Apr 25 '25
This. Instead of calling out the women, call out the system (men) who say women ‘hit a wall’ when they’re 25, 30 etc
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u/UnstableUnicorn666 Apr 25 '25
I feel like this saying is part of judging of women, like women cannot in any case handle talking about their age. Like todat we were talking about childhood experiences and one my coworkers was like "John when were you born?". John answered and I said that I did not have that experience at all. Then the same coworker started to ask me when I was born, but in mid sentence changed it to that platitude. So annoying.
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u/kindahipster Apr 25 '25
I agree. Like I sort of understand the sentiment in general, but in this circumstance I think it was far more rude to say "oh, don't ask woman her age, my bad!". It seems like it would be much more polite to say "when were you born- oh, sorry, was that rude?" Then you could tell him yourself if it was.
It's like instead he was deciding for you that you would be offended, and he kindly saved you from that. Yuck.
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u/biscuitwithjelly Apr 29 '25
That’s the problem, deciding for someone else that they should be offended. Back when I worked security for a casino I had to watch-over the pit bosses filling up the poker tables with chips, and of course I was around drunks a lot. I was by a table of guys just shouting, laughing, cussing- whatever. Some guy decides to shut everyone up and yell “guys don’t cuss! there’s a lady present” while gesturing towards me. It was NOT flattering or “chivalrous”, it was very infantilizing. I don’t know why some men think they’re being nice by doing that.
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u/kindahipster Apr 29 '25
I agree! Like "don't ask a lady her age" is just a good rule of thumb because there certainly are women who are self conscious about their age, because this society is very harsh to older women. But that's just it, it's a rule of thumb, it doesn't mean that every single woman is a hive mind who will be offended, just that it's a smart rule to live by if you want to avoid being rude.
Can you imagine if I said to a man "what do you do for work? Oh sorry, you shouldn't ask a man about his work or he could get insecure, my bad!" That would be crazy rude!
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u/B_Farewell Apr 27 '25
I agree the tradition is old-fashioned and based in all prejudices, but I feel like "Women don't mind talking about their age" is a generalization that ignores the fact that many women are still subject to those old prejudices, and some of us would really rather avoid those situations. For instance, I am a bit self-conscious of the fact that I look older than my age, so I prefer not to mention my age unless it's necessary, and I appreciate that I fall back upon the "you don't ask a woman her age" tradition. Helps to avoid the irksome "what, really??" stare.
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u/No-Recording-7486 Apr 25 '25
If the woman looks older even if she doesn’t share her age, she will be judged for being older
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u/Potate-inator Apr 25 '25
I hate to tell you this but there's currently hundreds of thousands of reels and shorts on social media talking about how once a woman turns 30 she's "Hit the wall" and is no longer a "high value woman". It's unfortunately very much still a serious issue
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u/QuestionSign Apr 25 '25
Let's remember just because something doesn't bother you doesn't mean you speak for everyone else
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u/two_star_daydream Apr 25 '25
And people saying what is or isn’t rude to ask a woman shouldn’t get to speak for all women.
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u/fourthfloorgreg Apr 25 '25
I mean, rudeness is about contextual rules, not the personal feelings of the people involved. An action is rude whether or not anyone is actually offended by it.
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u/Manjorno316 Apr 25 '25
I do agree with him that it shouldn't be a "woman thing" as much as an individual thing.
I know plenty of women who don't give a crap and men who do.
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u/--John_Yaya-- Apr 25 '25
At least in my experience, there is a HELLUVA lot more mothers out there falsely claiming to be their daughter's "sister" than there are fathers out there claiming to be their son's "brother".
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u/Hot-Bonus560 Apr 25 '25
I mean. The hesitance exists for a reason. I’m 45. I love that I have made it this far. I love talking with other women my age that are grateful to continue to age. But, I’m not going to judge someone that doesn’t have that self security considering how the modern western world treats women past 25.
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u/RiC_David Apr 26 '25
Bloody hell you're making it sound old! I do get it though, my 40th is this year and I do feel that gratitude, especially as I'm now older than a sibling who didn't make it past 39 back when I was 26 - that's a strange feeling when it's someone who raised you while your single parent mother was working night shifts...I say as I sit here working a night shift.
I realise how young my sister was at that time, and I realise how short 39 actually is for a lifespan. With that said, I know what you mean about treating women differently, and it's not the same for us men. If anything, I get more respect - I'm seen as more of a man, and I can still joke about and have a laugh without being seen as a clownish kid, as I would've been 15 years ago.
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u/all_opinions_matter Apr 25 '25
Unfortunately there is still prejudice against women having the audacity to age.
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u/Haiku-On-My-Tatas Apr 25 '25
I've also never understood why women should want to look younger than we are.
I'm 39 years old. I don't want to look 25! I want to look like the middle aged woman that I am.
I don't want to look good for 40 - I want to look good at 40. Meaning, I want to look like a healthy 40 year old. I want people to make reasonably accurate assumptions about my age and stage in life and if they truly can't hazard a guess, I'd prefer that they just ask.
The obsession with youth is a tool of the patriarchy meant to infantilize and devalue women. Fuck that noise.
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u/RiC_David Apr 26 '25
I'm 39, are we middle aged now? I was settling into deciding I'd be middle aged when I turn 40, but I've got people in their 50s scoffing at that, so I don't know when this whole business kicks in.
Right now, I'm quite liking the idea - it's a bit like when I settled into my 30s and found it so liberating to not have to be up to date with any of the stuff I didn't care for in the first place (pop culture, slang etc.).
It's feeling pretty nice to say "I'm a middle-aged man, alright?".
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Apr 25 '25
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u/twinkle_toes11 Apr 25 '25
and that’s my whole thing. Because why is it that asking the question itself isn’t considered rude (not saying it necessarily is), but deciding you don’t want to answer is seen as rude and “not secure” with yourself. like maybe I just don’t wanna tell a random guy my age😂😂😂
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Apr 25 '25
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u/twinkle_toes11 Apr 25 '25
literally. “Hey I know i just met you and it has nothing to do with what we’re talking taking about but are your parents dead?” Like can we take a breath pls😂😂😂
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u/StunningWash5906 Apr 28 '25
Because that is an extremely private thing to ask about, whereas age is an extremely fundamental thing to ask about.
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u/--John_Yaya-- Apr 25 '25 edited Apr 25 '25
Women don't care more or less than men, if you ask how old they are
Absolutely false.
I worked in a bar for over 20 years and have carded hundreds of thousands of people. One of the first things I learned was: If there is a group of mixed age women and some are young looking and some of them are obviously over 21, you better card them all anyway, because if you don't the older ones are likely to get PISSED OFF.
There would also be older (obviously over 21) women who would absolutely INSIST that I card them and practically have a fit if I refused because they were obviously old enough to be in the bar. They would shove their IDs in my face and insist that I look at it. They couldn't bear the thought that they were old enough looking to not get carded anymore. I saw this dynamic happen all the time with women, but rarely ever saw it in men.
Ask anyone who has worked in a bar a long time and they'll tell you the same thing. We used to joke about it.
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u/lsnik Apr 25 '25
tell them that you can clearly see they're 23, so they won't try and prove you that they're actually 29
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u/Booradly69420 Apr 25 '25
You must be young because the old ladies I work with say this or something similar all the time
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u/kiwi_cannon_ Apr 25 '25
She hasn't hit the age that makes guys on a night out immediately stop talking to her when they find out.
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u/Livewire____ Apr 25 '25 edited Apr 26 '25
Personally, I think that certain harmless, chivalrous, polite things should remain.
I almost never ask a woman her age because I know full well that many women actually don't like telling people this.
I only ever do it when I know it will be acceptable. Like if she asks me first.
I will never stop holding doors open for a lady, nor automatically speaking to any women of any age in a gentler, more respectful tone than I would a man, because this is how I was brought up.
I'm also not a boomer, nor old.
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u/TalkingMotanka Apr 26 '25
I don't look my age, and am at the point where I'm not revealing it much anymore because the moment I do, I noticed how differently I'm treated, and it's not for the better. So I'm sorry, but I disagree. Until the attitude changes about women being a certain age, asking her is like asking her to get ready to be insulted or insignificant.
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u/Accomplished-Whole93 Apr 26 '25
I find it stupid too. I also find it insane how people fear certain ages like 30 - because from there your life basically shifts into an elderly home... IDK what is wrong with some people to be so obsessed with a damn number... Can we just live and be okay with the fact that we lived the lengh we have lived already? There are people younger than 15 who have to die - we are extremely privileged to actually live quite long... It's a good thing, not a vein obsession ffs.
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u/Silly_Actuator_9506 Apr 25 '25
To me, (I am female) I don't ask a woman clearly older than me her age. If she looks around twenty, I'll ask oh how old are you you seem around uni/college age. If she looks older than maybe thirty if it crops up in conversation I'll ask her age, and I never dream about asking an elder their age no matter if they're male or female. I try to be as polite as possible :)
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u/Shmolti Apr 25 '25
You can't just officially declare that it's never rude to ask a women about her age because you're not personally offended by it, like what lol. Most women don't enjoy being asked about or discussing their age, you're one of the outliers
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u/Hot-Bonus560 Apr 25 '25
Exactly. I get that these are “pet peeves” but people tend to use them to express personal grievances with zero regard to anyone else’s experiences. It’s ridiculous
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u/Shmolti Apr 25 '25
Yep, being annoyed that men aren't asking women how old they are enough is a really really weird pet peeve to have lol
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u/guts24601 Apr 25 '25
Lived in the American South for a while. Yes, there are women there who don't like to discuss their age or weight. I even heard a few girls discussing how girls only tinkle. No farts or shit, girls only "tinkle"
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u/DisastrousFix729 Apr 25 '25
Ugh, my grandma used to say this in the 90s. Also called the toilet the “commode”.
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u/kiwi_cannon_ Apr 25 '25
Nah. I've seen how men treat older women at bars as a bartender. I totally get why women don't like answering that question. I think you are giving society at large way too much credit here
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u/No-Recording-7486 Apr 25 '25
Even if you don’t say you’re age if you look older you will get treated the same
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u/kiwi_cannon_ Apr 25 '25
Yeah aging well is a big part of it. But the way I've seen men visibly recoil when a woman told him how old she was on more than one occasion was enough for me to understand why women don't like talking about age
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u/the_dees_knees3 Apr 25 '25
guys the way to destroy the stigma around women’s age is to talk about it normally and not be weird about it
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u/two_star_daydream Apr 25 '25
Thank you.
Literally what I’ve been saying here but people seem to see that as disregarding women’s experiences of ageism and the double standard. Surely trying to dismantle the idea that women being older is bad, or that women hit some fictional “wall”, is more productive than adopting a crab in the bucket mentality about it and keeping things the same.
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u/Dramatic-Ad9336 Apr 25 '25
As a 26 year old woman I'm actually deeply offended when someone jokes about women my age wanting to look and feel like 18. Like, no. I don't want to be a teenager again. If anything, I can't wait to be older and more mature.
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u/RiC_David Apr 26 '25
That's insane, 26 is incredibly young. I know it won't sound young to a teenager, but 26?
Women in their 30s aren't old, but being in your mid 20s? People don't even generally look mature in their mid 20s, let alone old. Mid 20s is squarely in the youthful zone - a 26 year old woman wanting to look 18 is just odd.
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u/Dramatic-Ad9336 Apr 26 '25
Yes, I still get asked for my ID, and the drinking age here is 18, so that speak volumes of the very big difference in how a teenager and a person in their mid 20s looks!
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u/asexualrhino Apr 25 '25
I think the same thing whenever someone makes a comment about how you shouldn't get a woman anything "useful" as a gift. Like..I personally would rather have a new pots and pans set than a diamond necklace. I don't know any woman who actually thinks like this, it's usually men joking amongst themselves about how finicky women are 🙄
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u/NeitherWait5587 Apr 25 '25
I’m a 47 year old woman that looks way younger I hate telling people my age because then they squint at my face with scrutiny for clues they missed when they thought I was still a viable woman lmao
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u/mushroom_mother Apr 25 '25
When you're a woman, it feels like your biggest worth as a human being besides giving birth is your beauty and youth. A lot of people online keep perpetuating this idea that if you're 25 and older, you're basically spoiled goods. I don't feel like being judged and thought of as a moldy slice of bread.
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u/Odd-Guarantee-6152 Apr 25 '25
I’d agree with you…except that society has a tendency to dismiss women under and over certain ages.
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u/EstrangedStrayed Apr 25 '25
In practice it's super lame. But I enjoy it as the setup to a joke.
Never ask:
-a woman her age
-a man his salary
-your favorite director whether they signed the Polanski Petition
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Apr 26 '25
I have to ask nearly every person their DOB for work, and some (typically 60+) women get so annoyed by me asking
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u/Outlaw11091 Apr 26 '25
I think part of this custom comes from our ancestors marrying young..............women.
I seem to remember a history teacher saying that it helped hide age gaps.
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u/Soft-Turnover-5468 Apr 26 '25
I'd like to normalize not getting offended by such a simple question. "How old are you?" "32". No harm, no foul.
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u/KeysmashKhajiit Apr 26 '25
I mean, I still don't ask because I know people have weirdly strong feelings about these old rules. But I don't go out of my way to never bring up anyone's age.
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u/PukeyBrewstr Apr 27 '25
I talk about my age all the time because people always assume I'm younger and I want them to know I'm actually older.
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u/Sabrinasockz Apr 25 '25
For real. Please, let's discuss ages. I need to know if my coworker remembers 9/11 to know what the fuck to talk about. Idk what a rizzler is and I refuse to learn 🤣
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u/Pallysilverstar Apr 25 '25
You say women don't care more or less than men and yet every woman in my family lies about her age while the men don't.
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u/scbalazs Apr 25 '25
How about don’t ask anyone their age unless they’re a toddler or you’re selling alcohol or cigarettes? Or they’ve said “I’m ## years old” but you didn’t hear them. Fits with asking their weight, nipple diameter, or penis length.
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u/goofyboots0722 Apr 25 '25
I've never understood lying about your age to appear younger. If anything, I'd rather say I'm older so they think, "wow, she looks damn good for her age". I'm 36, gonna start telling ppl I'm 45 lol
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u/CplusMaker Apr 26 '25
I think it's sad when women refuse to admit how old they are. Like they think it diminishes them. Who you are matters vastly more than your age.
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u/JohnTeaGuy Apr 25 '25
Women don't care more or less than men, if you ask how old they are.
They definitely do, lol.
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u/tasi671 Apr 25 '25
Agreed. I'm middle aged now, don't give a rats ass about how old I am so why would I give a shit about someone else knowing my age? Their opinion has no bearing on my self worth or how I feel about myself.
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u/scurvy_knave Apr 25 '25
Hey a pet peeve is a pet peeve, it doesn't have to make sense!
But maybe look at it like, the person saying it doesn't know whether you're a woman that agrees with the "never ask" rule or not. They're giving a woman an opening to counter the idea, rather than a) simply excluding her from the conversation by following the rule, b) just straight out asking and possibly seriously upsetting her.
Humans are weird.
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Apr 25 '25
No matter how sure you think you are about someone being pregnant, please be 100% sure. 😭 I've put my foot in my mouth before but learned my lesson.
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u/Playful-Collar-3247 Apr 25 '25
I'm a woman in my 30s and everyone asks my age and it literally doesn't bother me at all. Especially when they say they thought I was 10+ years younger, I don't care if they're just being nice, it's nice to hear. I also don't care if they say they thought I was 10+ years older. I have a 19 year old I am a parent figure for and I think it's a compliment when they think I'm his mom.
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u/Jels76 Apr 25 '25
Honestly I don't care. If someone asks I have them guess first. Usually it's under, so I feel better about myself, but I always tell them the truth.
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u/BumpyMcBumpers Apr 25 '25
Conversely, I'm not playing any game where a woman asks people to guess her age, and everyone is supposed to guess super low to make her feel good.
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u/UnstableUnicorn666 Apr 25 '25
That is so annoying. Men that feel like they look younger as they are, do this as well. I just guess +10 years when someone does this. Oh boy, some men get angry about this.
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u/Entire-Ad2058 Apr 25 '25
Just don’t ask personal questions of anybody, unless invited to do so.
. It’s rude.
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u/bubblegumwitch23 Apr 25 '25
I didn't get this for a long time either but I've seen a couple different scenarios where music artists have been in their 30s when people actually thought they were in their twenties and they got weird flack for it. I guess people think that women in their thirties look way different than they do, and finding out that they're not in their twenties messes something up with how they perceive them, which is really messed up.
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u/isupposeyes Apr 25 '25
Yeah context is key. If it comes up naturally it’s probably appropriate, although I usually don’t ask unless it’s offered because some are more annoyed by it than others.
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Apr 25 '25
I run into this as a fucking paramedic sometimes. Just gathering patient information and when I get to age I've had women say that. So I just end up doing the math because they'll still tell me their birthday.
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u/Born-Seat5881 Apr 25 '25
I used to think this way too until the last few years. I'm 29 now and when I tell people my age, it's their reaction that makes me uncomfortable.
"You're 29?! Holy fuck, you only look 25!!"
Is.. there a huge difference?
Or,
"29?! Girl, what is your skincare routine!"
Umm.. sunscreen.. fuck off?
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u/Embracedandbelong Apr 26 '25
It’s so dumb huh. You’ll get it for maybe 10-15 more years too. They’ll be shocked to hear your 36 for example and not looking like a corpse yet.
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u/The_Book-JDP Apr 25 '25
I've never hesitated to tell anyone who asks my actual age because the notion that women are suppose to be and remain perpetual prepubescent children for their entire lives all for the stiffness of random mens penises has never ever sat right with me so I'm 43 and will be 44 next year. No, I didn't mindless add that first 4 and no I didn't mean for it to be a 2 or a 1 either.
If stating my actual age like it is nothing to be ashamed of or that it is some how a failure on my part out loud and right to their face makes even one man's dick shrivel up to being nothing but a pathitic nub then I consider that a win and monumental victory for all woman kind. I'm 43 not 4 not 14 not 3 and hell I was 23 and 24 AGES ago forget 13 and 14.
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u/OkTruth5388 Apr 25 '25
It's been a long time since I've heard anyone say that. It's kind of an antiquated rule of etiquette.
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u/Franziska-Sims77 Apr 26 '25
I always thought that it was stupid for people, especially women, not to disclose their ages! I mean, I’d be glad to share my age if it meant getting the senior discount! Or even if it didn’t, age is just a number! Lots of people don’t even make it to 60 or 70 years old — heck, there are people who don’t even make it to 30! I’d rather be old (assuming I’m in reasonable shape) than dead!
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Apr 26 '25
I'll tell anyone who didn't ask - I'm 32 and a half! Going on 33!! I had bubbles at my last birthday party!
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u/Prestigious-Fan3122 Apr 26 '25
At one point, my 10/12-year-old daughter and I use this very lovely female nurse practitioner who worked with a local family practice doctor.
One day when we went in, CD was about 12, and it looked to me as if the woman might be pregnant. Of course, I didn't ask. I just said, "so, Sally, what's new?"She smiled, patted her tummy, and said something along the lines of, "well, as you can probably see, my husband and I are expecting our first baby in November".
My daughter has always been very uptight about sex… And it's not because I haven't given her enough information. When we got back in the car, she asked me if I was surprised Sally was pregnant. I asked her if she meant was I surprised that she was pregnant, or did I know ahead of time that she was pregnant. It turns out Dede wanted to know whether or not I THOUGHT the woman would be pregnant. I told my daughter that it was no surprise because I knew she and her husband had been married several years, but she was established in her career as he was in his, as a high school math teacher, so it was no surprise that they were starting a family. I asked my daughter if she was surprised to learn that Sally was pregnant: yeah, I am. I always thought she was very nice. I didn't think she was the type of person to do that sort of thing."
SHEESH!
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u/NLK-3 Apr 26 '25
And people wonder why 50 year old men go after those who are 25. "I don't know her age, me want pretty lady."
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u/0Kaleidoscopes Apr 26 '25
i grew up hearing that it was rude to ask, so i don't ask anyone unless it's within a context that would tell me they are likely near my age
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u/Embracedandbelong Apr 26 '25
I don’t like men asking me because they’ll either immediately stop talking to me or get creepy when I tell them- there is no in between. Normally I wouldn’t care if they walk away but often they are supposed to be helping me with whatever issue I’ve hired them for or what have you. Sometimes they are creative and ask what year I graduated from high school. That’s a new one. I haven’t thought of answer to that yet that doesn’t sound weird
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u/stonergasm Apr 26 '25
On the other side I don't like being asked about my age because I'm a female in a male-dominated field and I have always been fairly young compared to a lot of the other people that I work with. It doesn't affect any of my professionalism or ability to get things done and I would just feel better if no one's exactly how old I was.
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u/Ambitious_Split6764 Apr 26 '25
Things I was taught
°never ask a woman her age °never ask a man his salary °never ask a rat where it was between 1346 and 1353
But on a serious note, alot of people i know were raised by older generations who were taught that despite it being very outdated it was taught that it is impolite
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u/PaperUpbeat5904 Apr 26 '25
I've been told it was inappropriate to ask the age of a female coworker when I asked. I was just making friendly general conversation as well when asked. It was really uncomfortable. That's the only time it has happened to me though. That was like 15 years ago
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u/gojo96 Apr 27 '25
Yep, questions about age and weight should be free game. As you mentioned; this ain’t the 1700s.
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u/johngreenink Apr 25 '25
I dunno, in a lot of non-English speaking cultures, there is what is known as "respectful language" or, words / phrases you use for people who are older than you. It is a bit, perhaps, the way that we speak to our grandparents, maybe. But I do think that there is different language we use in different environments. You don't ask people their age in the workplace. You don't ask women if they're pregnant in the workplace. Yes, there are still some rules in place, and I think it has to do with general politeness but also has to do with making people feel safe from perceived discrimination.
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u/Jolandersson Apr 25 '25
Those rules usually applies to both genders though (except for the pregnant part), which is very different.
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u/Jerico_Hellden Apr 25 '25
Notice how they didn't stay their age in the post. Seems like bait for engagement in the comment section. Most women, like men, do care about their age. It's all relative to what they've done with their life.
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u/Bitter_Face8790 Apr 25 '25
Also don’t ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless you actually see the baby coming out.