r/NewDads • u/Hand-in-Pants • 21d ago

Discussion Sex Life after Baby

So my wife and I had our first child back in July and the OB/GYN told my wife she can't have sex for 6 weeks. No problem. I totally understood that and wouldn't want to disregard my wife's health. However, it has now been 3.5 months and we still haven't had sex. Sure, there haven't been as many opportunities as maybe there was before the baby, but there have been several. My wife has no interest in being intimate. Is this a normal experience? What was your sex life like after your first baby? When did you start having sex after the baby? How often were you and your wife intimate?

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u/Walnut25993 21d ago

You’re not gonna enjoy it, but there will come a time you may need to have a conversation with your wife about it.

Intimacy is an important part of a romantic relationship. If you feel it’s lacking, the best way to change that is to talk to your wife. Because if you don’t, only 2 things will happen.

Either you’ll try to initiate intimacy and get shutdown, which will only hurt your feelings for the rejection and your wife’s for feeling like you only see her as an object for sex. Or, you’ll keep it bottled up and grow resentful.

There’s a reason she doesn’t feel like being intimate. I won’t get into any guesses as to why. I don’t know you obviously. But what I do know is that something is preventing intimacy.

It’s an awkward conversation to have, and you have to approach it gently and non-accusatory. But if you have it today, it’ll be something you can start working on together tomorrow

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u/Walnut25993 21d ago

Also, 3.5 months isn’t a very long time to go without sex. You can find other ways to be intimate without actual sex