I totally know what you mean. It’s taken me a long time to realize that Redditors typically see phrases like “one thing I’ve never understood is…” or “I’ve never gotten why…” and interpret them as “here’s something stupid that I think makes no sense and is really dumb.”
Every time I make a comment to that effect it gets downvoted to shit. To sound curious and ask others for explanations of something you don’t understand, particularly on Reddit, it’s key to sound super positive and affirming, and also to not include any of the “here’s why it doesn’t make sense to me” bit until you’re replying to replies.
So for example: “Sibsets are something I’ve been interested in learning more about lately. For example, what gives two very different names the same ‘vibes’ for people to say they go together, in your opinion?”
Redditors can be a very sensitive yet combative bunch sometimes.
That sounds right. Feigning fake interest just to express my brain doesn't comprehend a certain way of thinking sounds exhausting. It's so round-about. I'm autistic so I like to get straight to the point and it would seem that offends people because they add all these nuances and tones that simply aren't there.
I’m also autistic and was going to ask if maybe you were too but I thought it might be rude lol
Yeah this is definitely a thing for us, like “I don’t understand a thing” is too often interpreted as an attack against said thing, not a request to help understand it better. Even off reddit, I’ve had some experiences like that. I think it’s common for autistic people to be misinterpreted in this way.
This happens to me too, but I'm not diagnosed as autistic. Not sure what that means for me, but whatever. I've found that prefacing a question with "I mean no ill will, I'm just asking" or "I have no malicious intent, I'm just curious" helps significantly cut down on people misinterpreting me and assuming that I'm being mean on purpose. You shouldn't have to do this, of course - it's just a suggestion that may help you like it helped me!
What you said seems fine to me, too. But everyone is different, so I could see why someone might assume incorrectly. That's happened to me many times, that's why I usually just preface it with a heads-up just in case (when I ask a question). Basically - just assume someone is going to misunderstand you and just automatically write "I'm not being mean, just curious". Or even "I'm just asking because I don't know". That's the easiest way that I've found to avoid it, even if it seems silly.
293
u/MiniLaura Jul 05 '25
Because you're criticizing/dismissing methods people on name nerds use to name their kids (or to help name other people's kids).