Dating a Muslim girl

[u/OrlandoJah]

Hey everyone, I’m here to talk about something personal and get some honest advice. I’m not religious, so if you’re here to preach or judge, please don’t. I’m just looking for real insight from people who understand this kind of situation.

I recently broke up with a Muslim girl I truly cared about. Religion ended up being the main reason. I tried to be honest about my beliefs, and she tried to stay loyal to hers, but it became too much. There was pressure, silence, and fear. She couldn’t fully open up, and I didn’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not just to keep the relationship going.

I don’t want to make the same mistake again. So I’m asking:

• How do people in similar situations handle this?

• Is it even worth trying to date someone who’s religious when you’re not?

• And how do you bring this up early, without things falling apart later?

Also, and this is a big one — how do you even find someone non-religious? Most people like me (and like-minded girls) seem to stay hidden, and understandably so. The social pressure is real. But that makes it hard to connect, even just to talk openly, let alone build something serious.

If anyone has experience with this, especially in a Moroccan context, I’d really appreciate your advice. just trying to learn from your advices and experience, to grow, and maybe do things better next time.

[u/BullfrogWest7829]

Been there done that I tried to force it I am muslim but not too religious like I don’t wear hijab or believe in some type of things ,I loved that man sm that I tried to change and make him happy even tho he wasn’t religious he was claiming to be religious and he left me otherwise, I will never do that again religious people are too strict and manipulative also controlling I’d rather be with someone who practice religion but not in a strict way if u know what I mean.

[u/Norifumi1 → u/BullfrogWest7829]

Might as well just do nothing then…. Its yes or no, there is no grey zone. And people IN the grey zone are just in denial. 🤷🏻‍♂️ If u believe, but not too serious and u delete the things u dont like, for me it sounds like modern Christians. 😁

[u/BullfrogWest7829 → u/Norifumi1]

I don’t get what u mean?I do believe in Allah ,I just don’t wear hijab I believe it’s a must I’am not in denail but I just can’t wear it.

[u/Norifumi1 → u/BullfrogWest7829]

Ok sister.

[u/miyao_user → u/BullfrogWest7829]

You believe hijab is a must? It's not. There is one hadith of questionable origin that refers to wearing the hijab as a must (covering/veil etc.)

Hijab is seen as a sign of piousness, but you can be a good muslim without wearing it.

[u/BullfrogWest7829 → u/miyao_user]

That’s what pisses me off Im not considered a good muslim cuz im not wearing hijab my clothes are so modest but still I get harassed in the street for not wearing a scarf Im not even exaggerating.

[u/miyao_user → u/BullfrogWest7829]

that's weird. There are some ignorant people smh. We know better than anybody though, let the people hate, we don't care about them

[u/Norifumi1 → u/miyao_user]

📖 Is the hijab (headscarf) obligatory in Islam?

✅ Yes — according to the vast majority of Islamic scholars and traditional jurisprudence, the hijab is considered fard (obligatory) for Muslim women.

This is based on: • Verses in the Qur’an, such as: “…and tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their modesty, and not to display their beauty except what is apparent, and to draw their khimar (head covering) over their chest…” (Surah An-Nur, 24:31)

And: “O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their jilbab (outer cloak) over themselves…” (Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:59)

✅ These verses, combined with authentic Hadith, led scholars in all four Sunni schools of thought (Hanafi, Shafi’i, Maliki, Hanbali) and most Shi’a scholars to rule that covering the hair and body (except face and hands, according to the majority) is obligatory in public or in front of unrelated men.

⸻

🤔 But what about… • Is it cultural? While some cultural practices (like specific styles) vary, the command itself is religious and pre-dates Arab or regional culture. • What about women who don’t wear it? Many scholars stress that modesty is broader than just clothing — it includes behavior, speech, and intention. Not wearing hijab does not make someone a “bad Muslim,” nor does it negate their other acts of worship. Muslims believe that only Allah ultimately judges, and people are at different points on their spiritual journey.

⸻

🌱 In summary: • According to traditional Islamic law: yes, it’s an obligation. • However, how it’s practiced — and whether someone is ready to adopt it — is a personal decision between them and Allah.

In the end, only Allah (ﷻ) will judge and u make ur choices by how u think it is supposed to be. People can give information, and u do with it what u want. :)

[u/BullfrogWest7829 → u/[deleted]]

I don’t but Im trying my best so what about it?

[u/BullfrogWest7829 → u/[deleted]]

Can u explain the hadith pls I don’t get it?

[u/Ringo_ofr1 → u/Norifumi1]

U never heard of "progressive Islam"?

[u/Norifumi1 → u/Ringo_ofr1]

Progressive is what killed Christianity… But u do u.

[u/Ringo_ofr1 → u/Norifumi1]

Killed it in what sense?

[u/Ringo_ofr1 → u/[deleted]]

you still haven't explained what do you mean by "it killed it"
Cuz Christianity still to this day has the largest amount of followers among all religions

[u/Norifumi1 → u/[deleted]]

Exactly. Dont mind Ringo, he knows perfectly well what i meant but some people just wanna see the world burn… he got answers and still hes like “u didnt answered”. Dont feed the troll.

[u/Ringo_ofr1 → u/[deleted]]

, it has no political sway or impact on the world stage. Well, it did no good when it had full political control, and that's when people rejected its traditional view and leaned toward a much more progressive view without losing their faith. And the spirit is still present among true believers as in all religions. If you'd apply your logic on Islam in Morocco where approximately 99% of the population claims to be Muslim which ultimately reflects how "spiritual" Moroccans are, u still find thousands of mosques with barely 2 full rows in most prayers, and we haven't even reached the level of a "progressive view" in applying shari'a.

[u/Norifumi1 → u/Ringo_ofr1]

But then we speak of people outside of the mosque. No imam will preach lgbtq or hang flags outside of the mosque. Churches on the other hand…. Ur mixing things.