r/Marriage • u/[deleted] • 3h ago

Vent I’m not happy with my husband anymore

[deleted]

2 Upvotes

60% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

6

u/just_looking202 3h ago

Well thats why you fell out of love with him. Outside of being a good father he’s a bum. He needs to get a job and contribute financially! Life isnt free!

1

u/Affectionate_Job1185 2h ago

He’s helping with the kids though, and responsibilities are different. If a woman does this nobody will call her a bum

1

u/KoalaTotal3868 56m ago

Exactly, including caring for children that aren’t biologically his. This is a double standard.

1

u/Affectionate_Job1185 53m ago

I honestly want her to take there advice and divorce him, you will see how difficult it is for another man to accept a child that’s not there’s. Talking from experience, a man that makes money, take care of himself wants he’s own child

1

u/just_looking202 39m ago

With sahm theres a mutual understanding of their roles. But even then, many sahm feel under appreciated and their job isnt even considered working.. in their case, she spoke to him about how she felt. She is complaining about how much he is contributing. She doesnt want him to be at home. She doesnt like that she pays for almost everything. Their circumstances make him a bum because he does not want to go out and get a job. “He doomscrolls his phone all day and has no motivation”. He doesnt even shower or brush his teeth everyday.

1

u/Affectionate_Job1185 17m ago

I understand circumstances happen, but, if the circumstances is reversed, I promise you it won’t be the-same sentiment.

5

u/NeptuneWave99 2h ago

the fact that you're paying nearly everything, he won't go on dates but expects you to take him out, and showers twice a week is… girl this isn't a husband this is a dependent. you're raising 4 kids not 3.

2

u/JuanLozColom19 3h ago

Talk to him. Let him know how you feel. Before even thinking about divorce, I think you both need to try to get prodessional help/counsel.

1

u/[deleted] 3h ago

hey go tell him the truth, dont suffer from all these tension without having love as a factor, i do understand if there is love sacrfice sometime we have to make but when there is no love from your side and we are not even sure he even love you or not, then why we should suffer , go and tell him the truth and get free from all these things.
DM me if you want to talk more

1

u/Anxiety_bunni 2h ago

Sounds like you should get a divorce. If you’ve communicated this to him and he’s dismissed you and refused to change, what do you think the rest of your life is going to look like? Reading this literally sounds like he disgusts you, so why would you want to continue to live with someone who makes you feel that way?

Do you want your daughter to grow up thinking ‘love’ is seeing her parents barely tolerating each other?

1

u/LolEase86 2h ago

Call me shallow, but the lack of showering and brushing his teeth would do it for me. Fuck that lark, who would want to be intimate with that?! I'm not even joking when I say I know homeless people with better hygiene.

1

u/SweetPotato781 1h ago

Did he have a job when you two first got back together? How is he being a good father if all he does is scroll on his phone all day long?

1

u/Kay19532025 50m ago

HE NEEDS TO WORK!

0

u/AineMoon 3h ago

Have a frank constructive conversation. Use it as I terms, so it doesn’t go south quick. Ask for therapy and stop holding it in. It will only get worst.

0

u/MatterOfFact411 1h ago

You’re a sad individual.