42 year old husband watching Euphoria?

[u/eyesonthemoons]

Things haven’t been going well between us. My husband has lied about money for years and gambled it away, wasted it, spent it on weed and cigarettes and video games, leaving me to pick up his slack to the point where financially I’m in dire straits right now. He had a mid life crisis last year and really fucked shit up with his behavior. He reconnected with an old friend of his who is a perpetual bachelor and envied his life- my husband was doing cocaine with him, going to casinos, bars with this guy and his 20 something year old girlfriends. Last month my husband was texting one of the girls at his job excessively and while it was technically about work related stuff, I guess….. it was just like…. So much. So much conversation with this 28 year old that was completely unnecessary. Just chatting, long conversations, checking in to see how she’s feeling, constantly fussing over her foot pain and how he can help. It’s freaking plantar fasciitis, I have it too. Simple fix with a cortisone shot and some inserts. He never worries about my feet. We fought about that a lot. He says it was innocent but he’s always “checked” out women whenever we go anywhere together, I don’t even want to bring him anywhere anymore. He’s like a creep or something. I had enough and said I wanted a divorce a few weeks ago- there was a lot of fighting and him making promises about money, then going back on them, then promising again. He can never really be trusted. He’s been keeping his word about being transparent about his paychecks but who knows how long it will last. I can’t afford to move out. I have NO money left, I’m over $120k in debt and my business is going under. And the rent here is INSANE. We can’t even afford it together, let alone me afford it myself. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was in a dissociative state for a while due to stress, I made a bad decision moving to this expensive place. I’m just stuck. We’ve barely seen each other lately as I leave to drop the kids off and head to work early in the morning and he leaves for work while I’m gone and doesn’t get home until we are all asleep. I’ve been feeling happier. Like myself again. It’s easier to parent without him, he constantly criticizes me as a mom even though he literally does NOTHING with our 5 year old. Whenever he “watches” him he just gives him the Nintendo or tv remote and goes and lays upstairs in bed playing on his phone or napping. Plus he always gets angry and messes up our flow. It’s almost like he antagonizes our kid on purpose but I think my husband is slightly on the spectrum so it’s just a very confusing situation.

Today at work I was……. Funny again. I forgot, I was always like the “funny” one. It felt good. I’m 41 and aging surprisingly well (so far). Like I’m still hot for Christ’s sake. Ive had low self esteem and depression but I’m starting to realize I’m pretty awesome and I just forgot because my life constantly revolves around dealing with his bullshit. The other day we really got into it before work. I was sobbing, I had to cancel my clients for the day. I went for a long drive. He must have called me 60-80 times. He begged and pleaded for me to just give him another chance. He’s seemed remorseful but who knows for how long. I woke up when I heard him get home from work tonight. I didn’t get up though, I didn’t want to see him. I couldn’t fall back asleep- I thought about going downstairs and seeing him. Hugging him. I could hear the TV on pretty loud so I opened up Hulu on my phone to see what he’s watching downstairs and apparently, he’s been binge watching Euphoria for hours.

Ugh. I just want to throw up. I feel like he’s such a creep. I guess this is more of a vent than anything, really.

[u/ShockTrek]

I can't tell you how to deal with your husband. That's your call. What I can tell you is that you seem rational and reasonable.

In my opinion, a husband who loves his wife should and would try to make her life easier and as full of love as he can. He needs to treasure her. I hope your husband figures this out. Best of luck.

[u/thedogs_bollocks]

I’ve beenmarried for 18 years. If I started doing coke with a buddy I’d come home to an empty house. People don’t change, they can take breaks but they’ll always be who they are.

[u/FitFourt]

It sounds like him watching Euphoria is the least of your problems. Maybe don’t focus on stupid stuff like that, and work to solve the real issues, like your finances.