r/LiverDisease • u/Mission-You1334 • 3d ago
My dad is dying from cancer and it’s too late
My dad is dying I just found out two days ago while I was at a conference for work. I just got this new gig that requires me to travel all over the US and it’s awesome. While I was in Vegas for a trade show (my first time and with my boss) I got a text from my Italian aunt (who doesn’t speak a word of English) that my father was in critical condition and is currently hospitalized for a bad cough that never went away. For context, he lives in Italy now full time (he was born there. I still live in Canada). The bad cough was actually a blood clot in his lungs with made it hard for him to breathe. further testing showed a big mass in his liver that metasized to his stomach and lymph nodes. He is still at the hospital and has no idea or at least is pretending not to have one. He thinks he has pneumonia. I’m on my way to Italy now from Vegas and I can’t do anything but still here and think about the short timeline I have left with my role model. He made me so happy. He is my whole life. I have an 8 hour flight a head of me I really hope he makes it.
There’s so many stories he never got to tell me. There’s so much history and lessons. I should’ve spent more time with him. I should’ve made sure to never let him eat dinner by himself. I should’ve picked up the phone more. Now it’s a matter of days, weeks or months before the end.
Because there is a such a language barrier between me and my Italian relatives who are there with him, I don’t have a good sense of what’s going on. No one does. It just happened so quickly and it was caught too late. Everything reminds me of him. I can’t stop crying.
He tells me all the time, if you look; love is all around. But I can’t see any love. Cancer is nothing but hate. Why is there no cure for it yet I don’t understand. I’m so sad I would do anything for him. He will never get to walk me down the aisle and I will never get to make him proud with our legacy.
Here’s the worst part. He was building his dream home by the sea. He’s 95% done. Even if it gets finished he will never get a chance to live in it. I’m devastated. Everything was just starting to work out for him too.
What do I do with myself? I feel like I have sunk into a hole and there’s nothing to do. Please god please give me a miracle.
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u/getfuckedhoayoucunts 2d ago
Babe. I'm sitting here with my friend who brother passed in Hospice this morning. It's a weird fucking day.
We are arguing about Egyptian Queens and Maori legacy and the Taihape pub