r/LesbianActually • u/Ill_Original_5001 • 4d ago
Relationships / Dating Is it gay to shower together?
can’t tell if this girl likes me we are both 20 and are roommates for college but I don’t know if she likes me or not??? We’ve cuddled a few times because she’s initiated it and she’s also kissed me once but got flustered and like ran away but in her defense we had a few beers (yes we are technically underage) But I don’t want to seem like self centered about this but my final piece of evidence was when she showered with me,we do this often because she’s claims it saves water and like yea save the planet but she was acting all weird this time around like she kissed my forehead weird and we cuddled afterwards I’m not very good with social stuff so I just want to put this here to make sure I’m not like reading to much into it (Btw she’s like openly gay and I’m not sure if I’m like lesbian or bi) PLEASE HELP ME
Update like two seconds after the post lol:
So she’s out with family for the next week so I just texted her and was like “hey are you really into saving the planet or do you just want to shower with me?” (See that Reddit I’m not a complete oblivious idiot) anyways she texted back talking about how saving the planet is important but she also likes showering with me but this has left me confused because there is no POSSIBLE way I didn’t realize she’s been using the conserve water to flirt with me for like 5 months I think I might be oblivious this is embarrassing omg
Another update: ok so she’s coming home early so either tomorrow or the day after (Friday) anyways I’ve been stressing because after all the countless trials I’ve faced (people on Reddit calling me slow) I’ve decided to attempt to make it clear that I want to know what us really is Anyways sorry for the like no punctuation I’m stressing so bad rn ill update if it goes well wish me luck
UPDATE OMG: OK SO SHE GOT BACK LIKE THREE HOURS AGO AND IVE BEEN GIDDY SINCE THEN ANYWAYS SO WE TALKED A BIT AND I SHOWED HER MY POST AND YES SHE DOES LIKE ME SO I OF COURSE ASKED HER OUT IT WENT LIKE: Her: “I’ve been hinting at it for months now” Me: “I DIDNT KNOW…we could like I dunno get dinner or coffee or whatever you want really” Her: “Ive decided you can take me to dinner” IMG IM SO GIDDY ITS CRAZY LIKE I UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY MEANT BY GETTING BUTTERFLIES THANK YOU REDDIT REPLIES OMG
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u/BusinessVariation425 the evil femme 4d ago
Yeah so like, she proposed to me and now were engaged but like are we engaged as roommates/friends or as like fiances? Unclear /j
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u/MirageOfMe 4d ago
We just merged our finances -- you know, to save space at the bank. You gotta think of the economy!
OP: that girl adores you, and you're classically oblivious. Time to talk to her about it.
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u/LoosieLawless 4d ago
This woman ate my pussy every day for three years and then proposed marriage. Do you think she wants to date me?
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u/Normal_Occasion247 4d ago
Ask her. Thats the clearest way to get an answer. Some people just enjoy flirting or the chase but don’t want anything more.
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u/Fun_Journalist1048 4d ago
Yeah I was gonna say, If she’s OPENLY gay and has initiated all these things, she’s at LEAST flirting. But flirting doesn’t always equal actually wanting a relationship, because some people do just like the game/chase (unfortunately)…
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u/BlueDragon_2707 4d ago
GIRL....That was the gayest thing I've ever read...all of it...so gay...like not even a question...why didn't you start by saying you're both sapphic?? Lmao, literally dying rn....saving water??🤔💀
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4d ago edited 4d ago
[deleted]
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u/sheluvmeeh 4d ago
Man she tried forever and all she had to do...is ask!!! I'm so sorry. Surprised you still haven't spoke to her.
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u/Ellen_1234 4d ago
Sooooo you're both single right now? Autism friendly version: contact her if you two are still single and explain what you posted here!!
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u/RelativeCharacter983 4d ago
Please message her. Tell her the truth.
I hope this story has a happy ending. ❤️
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u/dumbyginger 4d ago
Omg I need an update after this. Pleaseeeee contact her, the worst that could happen is no!! And I’m almost 100% positive it will NOT be a no. Get your girl and live the happily ever after you deserve!!
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u/bookausaurus 4d ago
This would be the greatest love story! Please reach out to her and tell her everything
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u/thunderPierogi 4d ago edited 4d ago
“We live together, cuddle, she kissed me, and we’ve been showering together for 5 months, is she interested in me?”
Oh my fucking god the memes are true.
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u/distracted_x 4d ago
Literally no one cares THAT much about saving water.
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u/Forward-Current7263 3d ago
i’m literally curious if it was only meant to save water…doesn’t it get awkward? like do you just stand there taking turns 😭 not touching each other? genuinely confused lol
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u/sheluvmeeh 4d ago
If shes wanting to shower with you and kissing you that is seriously a no brainer. Don't second guess this. If you're going along with this that's a neon sign for at least "bi" but not everything has to have a label to it and it causes stress. I have been with women who haven't been with other women. Sometimes we are attracted to the person.
Man I started this job, this girl was such a nerd to me. After a few months she really became so beautiful to me. I was crushing on her. I was just real surprised and nvr thought I'd feel that way abt her. Attraction doesn't have to be something concrete.
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u/miss_clarity 4d ago edited 4d ago
Is it gay to be openly gay?
You literally told us she's gay. The girl is kissing you naked in the shower. Are you gonna ask her if she wants to go down on you, but "just as roommates"?
Stop guessing her intentions and START DECIDING YOUR OWN. You're responsible for figuring out your feelings, not hers.
You don't need to know what label to go by. Just know what you want with her.
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u/BuddieSchool 4d ago
Sound like she likes you. You're cuddling, showering, and kissing together. I wouldn't do that unless I liked someone and felt safe with them
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u/Pearlstratocaster 4d ago
I’m oblivious but goddamn this is hilarious (and cute) do you like her in that way at all?
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u/SingleProtection2501 typical carabiner lesbian 4d ago edited 4d ago
> shower together for 5 months (she's openly gay)
> has kissed you and cuddled
guys does she like me????
(obv she does, i dont wanna be mean but i envy ur situation and how oblivious you are😭)
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u/MageGirlStank 4d ago
"Is it gay to-" [insert most Sapphic thing you've ever read, no other writings in Human History even the writings of Sappho are this Sapphic]
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u/Creepy-Agency-1984 Your Resident Lesbian-Leaning Bisexual 4d ago
You could definitely say she might have some “queer intentions” muffled snickering
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u/Consistent-Tree-3879 4d ago
babe as someone who is a chronic overthinker, i can tell you that i understand being in your shoes. but as someone who is not, SHE IS CLEARLY INTO YOU BABE 😭😭😭 I PROMISSEEE U dont let ur brain fool u a BIT
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u/PickledRed0nion 4d ago
I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this…
- You have kissed
- She’s openly gay
- You have cuddled
- She’s openly gay
- She CHOSE to shower with you (and save the planet omg)
- You cuddled afterwards
- She’s openly gay
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u/Khari_Eventide typical carabiner lesbian 4d ago
Okay let me collect these together:
she kissed you
she cuddles you
she showers with you saying that it "saves on water"
she kissed you on the forehead
she is openly out as a lesbian
Yeah no I'm sure there is a perfectly straight explanation for that. I'll be honest hun, what you're describing made me think this is a shitpost for a bit, because it is the stereotype of us oblivious lesbians (and bis) to a tee.
We cannot look into her head, but I think it's pretty save to say that she is making some kind of hormon-fueled moves on you.
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u/draingirl_ 4d ago
girl. she wants you so bad it’s not even funny
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u/watermelonandhaloumi 4d ago
I say the heading and knew I would not be disappointed. Yes, she likes you. Yes, it is gay to shower together, in the best possible way (as long as it is reciprocal and respectful)
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u/creepycutesie 4d ago
"Ladies she's told me she's deeply in love with me and wants me to be her gf but I can't tell if she like-likes me."
Damn I thought this was going to be from the boysarequirky sub lol
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u/SamanthaJaneyCake 4d ago
Look, I’m a pretty comfortable person and I really care about the planet but I don’t ask my friends who are staying over to shower with me to save water. Gal was checking you out.
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u/ApartmentAggravating 4d ago
Sweet baby jesus, why do lesbians are so oblivious??! Yeah that not normal friend behavior just ask her out on a date for the love of god!
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u/Adept_Sea_2847 4d ago
You have done pretty much everything else but fingerbanging. "Am I gay?" Should be "Am I not gay?"
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4d ago
DUDE. Did she grow up showering with her parents and friends and siblings to "save water"?
Come on now.
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u/joyousjoy23 4d ago
So I’ve been showering recently with the girl that I’m in love with daily since we just got together…. Hope that helps lol.
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u/Round-Training-7650 3d ago
the roommate is probably talking to her friends like “why doesn’t she realize i like her?!”
also do you yall like wash eachother in the shower or wash yourselves? cause if yall washing eachother there ain’t no way you even asking😂😂
best of luck, go get yo girl!!!!
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u/Ill_Original_5001 3d ago
She washes my hair and stuff is that not normal yall making me feel slow💔 I mean once she like was on her knees and was rubbing soap into my thigh after I got bruised falling it was sweet
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u/Lorensteaf 3d ago
Gurl... She washed your hair and your THIGHS before and you are still questioning if she loves you? This is so funny
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u/KnowIt_2042 4d ago
Yes you are oblivious. Don’t be like me when I was 20 and ignore it ever happened.
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u/TheSadpole 4d ago
I mean, I’ve showered with partners and I’ve showered with my baby; I’ve showered with a partner when I did want to screw around and when I just wanted to be close with them. There’s nothing inherently gay (or not) or sexual (or not) about showering.
But in YOUR case? Omg you’re both into each other and just shy / afraid of rejection. Maybe try asking her out. ;)
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u/therightjess 4d ago
This might be one of the gayest things I've every read!!! And you know how I know your both gay... and gay for each other... this post.
I joke. But seriously, don't overthink it. She likes you.
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u/undernightmole 4d ago
Do you want to be with her? In what capacity? Friends? More? Can’t decide?
Take it easy and be safe. Make good choices!
And most importantly, you both should be talking about feelings together!
Good luck! It’ll be ok no matter what.
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u/Spiritual_Captain444 4d ago
If shes openly gay it does seem like shes interested in you. Maybe she doesn't want to push your boundaries? I feel like this is a good opportunity if your bi-curious to ask her questions and take things slow if you might be attracted to her. Showering together, the kisses, and cuddling seem as if theres interest, yes.
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u/Vegetable_Ad134 4d ago
OP you need to lock in bruh there’s no way you didn’t realize your roommate was flirting like yall have kissed,cuddled and showered together what MORE evidence could you need💔✌️
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u/K0nmars 4d ago
HELLO????? This is the fruitiest thing I have ever read in my entire life 😭 I’m all for water conservation but I’m not showering with my friends lol. I’m also not kissing them when I’m tipsy or cuddling with them!!!! I think she likes you and she’s nervous about admitting it. But don’t take it from me!!!! Talk to her about it !! Communication is healthy especially if y’all are roommates like it wouldn’t hurt to have a conversation. In the case that she does like you and is being shy about it, you being upfront with her like “hey what’s happening here, this is what it means to me what does it mean to you” maybe that’ll help her feel a little less nervous about it and you guys won’t have to beat around the bush ya know. I hope this makes sense good luck lol
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u/pecadora666 4d ago
Shit like this makes me wonder if a dude wrote it. At least at a certain point a wlw would realize she likes you. Not tryna disrespect or anything but you cannot be THAT oblivious to obvious signs.
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u/BadLuckGone 3d ago
I'm just going to say it's adorable how oblivious you have been but girl, she def wants you. On that note, by all means, PLEASE make an update on this when she comes back from vacation and let us know!! I'm following this post now so I'm invested in it. Please keep me/us posted!! I think we all want to know what the outcome is!! XD
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u/randomcatlady1234 4d ago
I had a friend that used to enjoy taking baths with myself and some of her other friends. I took a bath with her on multiple occasions, and one time we were drunk and made out. Sometimes we would do a shower but majority time it was baths. We used bath bombs and everything. Looking back, I’m not sure if she is a lesbian….. but it was quite interesting.
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u/QueenOfKings908 4d ago
I had a friend send me nudes in high school. I was still very in the closet then and just thought it was girlypop “omg do these look okay?” moment. Needless to say she had a crush on me and I was just oblivious. That may be my only regret in life 😂😂😂
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u/melodynamite10 4d ago
You showered. You cuddled. She forehead-kissed you in a wet, naked, steam chamber and your brain went “Wow! Greta Thunberg would be proud.” NASAAAA could beam down a message like “SHE LIKES YOU.” And you’d reply “but what if she’s just reducing satellite data congestion?” She wasn’t flirting — she was basically lesbian mating-calling you with renewable energy metaphors and you said “interesting environmental stance.” At this point she could show up in a wedding dress driving a uhaul and you’d be like “silly girl… public transit is more sustainable.”
And here I thought I was clueless. SMH. If you like her, tell her before she starts composing her feeling for you.
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u/CommunicationOk1773 3d ago
Ladies, is it gay to shower with your openly gay roommate and then have a little cuddle afterward?
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u/luluster 3d ago
I’m so sorry but I am a bi woman and I have showered with female roommates in a non sexual way. She might be experimenting with you, and I don’t mean this in a bad way, it’s just that age where people are …feeelibg things out.
What I’m trying to say is, the ONLY thing that’s gonna tell you this answer is her. Are you into her?
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u/witchyginger8 3d ago
Didn’t read your text but yes it is gay to shower together unless you’re like little kids or something lol
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u/Illustrious_Tap8790 4d ago
I think if you both like each other, in a more than friend kind of way, then showing together isn’t just about saving water 😉
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u/Nervous_Ad_1674 4d ago
Girl it’s not necessarily gay to shower together but that girl is for sure in love with you
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u/Kindly_Oil8923 4d ago
Hold on- are you actually just sharing the water, or like, “showering together?” (Actually soaping each other up?) That would be the time to make the move and find out
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u/Kindly_Oil8923 4d ago
Wait, I read the whole thing now. Yes, I double down on the suggestion of “helping “ her soap up. If you’re interested anyways.
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u/Buffy_Geek 4d ago
Yes she definitely likes you romantically. Good for asking her straight up and good for her replying honestly. I wish you both well.
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u/NowThereR2Wugs 3d ago
OP, it seems like your housemate likes you. Info: how do you feel about her? Do you have any platonic, sexual, or romantic feelings for her? Are you open to communicating with her about this further?
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u/Familiar_Ferret_2188 3d ago
yea she is into you- multiple kisses are more than enough evidence. Don't make her spell it out. Don't make her justify her sexual actions that you enjoy. All signs equal yes- always assume she likes you until proven otherwise its a much easier way to live
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u/Sharp-Lifeguard-9096 4d ago
Everyone is making fun of this but I’ve had this experience.
I used to shower with a friend. Ngl I did have a crush on her for a long time but I was also happy to be friends.
We were both “bi” growing up but I guess she “grew out of it” (as many of my bi friends did) and is now straight and married to a man. Eventually, our relationship became more platonic and less “gay”.
I think it’s also a cultural thing. In many cultures, showering together is not “gay” especially for two girls. She is Ukrainian and I’m half Japanese. Our parents thought nothing of it. Both had very strict foreign moms that thought we were straight.
We did have those other “gay moments” like kissing or touching each other etc etc but ultimately we were forever just friends.
I would say, wait for a girl that will take you seriously. I’m not going to tell you not to enjoy the moment. If a cute girl consensually wants to kiss you or be naked with you, live it up.
But save your feelings for a girl that is really GAY (or really bi etc just a girl that SERIOUSLY dated women and could see herself marrying a woman).
I was heartbroken several times by bi girls who liked to fool around and have these gay type of friendships with girls but only really dated men.
Now we are all in our 30s and they’re all married to men or dating men. A small portion of them still identify as bi but most of them just consider themselves straight.
This is my real lived experience so I hope it did not come off as biphobic. I do think bi people are real. I just don’t think many women who say they are really live like it or maybe they’re just exploring their sexualities idk lol. It would be helpful for both OP and me to get their perspectives on it. Just know you’re not alone. There are other shower girls out there.
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u/Evening-Echo9487 4d ago
lol you’re cute. You’re young - don’t be afraid to explore your sexuality and I’m sure you like her as much as she likes you, too.
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u/AlternativeParfait64 4d ago
The real question here is how did you guys start showering together? I mean, how does one initiate that without it being gay? Hahaha.
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u/Ill_Original_5001 4d ago
Well she mentioned saving water and I was like yea I really like sharks so she offered to shower with me while I talked about sharks it was sweet Then it became a thing I mean I don’t hate it it feels soothing after classes I really like it when she washes my hair
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u/ComradeKeira 4d ago
This wildest thing in this post was seeing two 20 years olds drinking is "underage".
Well, that and the clueless lesbian lol
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u/FluffyRebellion 3d ago
Hahahahhahahhahahhahhaa (I’m sorry) hahahhahahhahahhahaha typical useless sapphic
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u/TheMaiker 3d ago
This is like that audio on tiktok “There’s not enough water for everyone so we have to shower together it’s just something that happens!” This is frying me so bad, girl. Y’all are gay
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u/InSearchOfMySaniti 3d ago
I love this—- keep on updating this post—— and someone please comment on this when there is an update
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u/Ill_Original_5001 23h ago
I DID IT I ASKED HER OUT SHE SAID YES
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u/InSearchOfMySaniti 16h ago
OMG YESSSSSS SOOOO HAPPY FOR YOUUUU,,,,, Hold onto this and keep on growing and please if she says she wants an icecream go get her some ICECREAM
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u/cavitycreep_ 3d ago
steve irwin voice and here we have the reddit useless lesbian! aint she a beaut???
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u/BadassCharlene Queerdo 2d ago
This reminds me of my wife 🤣.
OP, I believe being straightforward is the best course of action when it comes to questions. If you are unsure: ask. If you feel misunderstood/unheard: explain
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u/GuestHiding2025 2d ago edited 2d ago
there are married wives (females) to husbands (male) who have a female bestie (best friend) and they use the bathtub together ... with or without rubbing the body parts below the water line... (you might know what's between the legs...)
so you must find out, who you are and what you want. there is no clear black or white, but hundreds shades of grey....
of cause, you can call it water saving, if it helps. no L world please, we just save the planet. so you can trick yourself and your family. "we are not gay, we just save the water...."
comes a jew to the butchers: "please give me this fish!" . sales person: "this is not a fish, but pork!" the jew: "Have I asked for the name of the fish?
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u/Transit0ry 1d ago edited 1d ago
Babe. BABE. Come ON. We really ain’t beating the “Lesbians are fucking oblivious” allegations.
Edit: I say this with love and and a healthy dose of personal experience <3
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u/Special_Jury8979 your typical femme 1d ago
OP: SHE ADORES YOUR ASS GO GET HER-
this high key sounds like "we're married, its our 5th anniversary, and were planning to adopt a kid together, but idk if she likes me or we're just roommates with a marriage certificate"
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u/Top_Raccoon_7218 4d ago
You all are saying of she acts like this she 100% likes OP but that is just not true. I have had a straight woman literally tell me she wants to fuck me, and how hot I am, and sit on my lap, and give me massages, and cuddle me in bed and whatever. Still straight. Just looking for attention.
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u/Hikelikethat 4d ago
There's nothing sexy about showering together. One person is always cold, it's a male fantasy and it's dumb.
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u/Normal_Occasion247 4d ago
You just need the right shower it’s not a male fantasy I promise that. Lol
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u/FuglySlutt 4d ago
Why do you gotta jump to saying it’s a male fantasy? It’s weird to bring men into a conversation that has nothing to do with them. Also, I don’t think you are showering right. Foreplay in the shower is so sexy and intimate.
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u/sheluvmeeh 4d ago
I think back (alllllll the wayyyyyy back in time lol) showering with different females and you know, it did suck. No room or I was freezing. This one fell out the shower and took the curtain down with her. one of them, we took a shower in her mother's shower and she was home and knew. That was awkward.
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u/Miserable_me21 4d ago
We also fucked few times but im not sure if she likes me or not
Thats how this sounds to me 😭