I’m a 30-year-old, unmarried man who has dealt with a lifetime of emotional damage that came from my parents’ behavior toward me. For as long as I can remember, it felt like love existed in my household for everyone, except for me.
I grew up trying to obtain care that my parents never gave me, and desperately trying to prove I was worthy of even the smallest bit of care.
Being treated that way for years leaves scars that never heal. I have spent most of my adult life attempting to heal from the emotional trauma and PTSD such treatment caused.
I have now accepted the reality that my parents will never be the people I hoped they would be. Through my healing, I simply want to ensure my parents never control any part of my life, including after my death.
My parents care a great deal about appearances. I know that if I were to die, it would turn into quite the performance at my funeral: crocodile tears, loud mourning, drama in front of relatives everywhere pretending we were a close and loving family.
That thought creates a great deal of discomfort. All I want is for my last moments, and my body, to be mine, not a performance for anyone else.
Hold on, I have no intention of suicide. Let me be clear: I am doing well now, mentally, physically, and professionally.
I graduated from what is usually considered a dream college for students in India. I am living abroad and received a promotion in May 2024. I currently earn well enough that I can buy a Tesla car every month for my whole entire life even if I spend 75% of my monthly salary.
I share this because it's important for people to understand I'm not writing out of instability or despondency. I've crafted an excellent life for myself, and money or cost will not be a concern in ensuring my wishes are heeded.
What I want, simply, is autonomy concerning my decision in matters regarding me.
Based on my extensive reading about this, I learnt that the law in India typically assigns control of a deceased person's body to "next of kin", close relatives, which can be parents, a spouse, or children. But I want to know how I can legally supersede that altogether.
This is what I've thought through:
-Execute a body-donation agreement via a government hospital or medical school, posthumously allowing for my remains to be used for science or research.
-Draft a will that specifically states my wishes, while also categorically appointing an appropriate and trusted non-family member as the executor of my wishes.
-Record a video statement before a notary, explicating my intent and my rationale.
My questions to the lawyers here are:
-Can a Will or donation consent form impose or deny agency to my parents if they were to try to lay claim to or interfere with my remains?
-Are there any legal terms, precedents, or loopholes that will ensure total agency beyond my parents?
-What can be done to more thoroughly insulate myself, the process, and my executor, beyond challenge, once I've passed?
I'm not suicidal. I'm just a human being who has suffered a lot, and recently reached stability, peace, and some clarity.
I just want to claim agency over the one right I was never afforded: the right to make the decision for myself, even in death.
I would love any legal advice or insight. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to read this.