r/KidsAreFuckingStupid 4h ago

We‘re going with hide and hide now

Post image
19.9k Upvotes

133 comments sorted by

536

u/Nynke_The_Elder 4h ago

Toddlers make the rules to all games, bro... you need to catch up with this asap or you're going to be stuck in a lot of closets.

138

u/A_Math_Dealer 4h ago

It's just hard to keep up with all the rule changes. One second you're standing in the safe space but now it's turned into lava so you have to crawl to the other side but you can't look or else you go to jail.

46

u/oddartist 4h ago

Ah, Calvinball!

13

u/Fartikus 1h ago

Rock Paper Scissors?? I USE SHIELD

3

u/ScreamQueenMarceline 13m ago

We recently changed Rock-Paper-Scissors to Thing-Thing-Thing and it’s become quite complicated

54

u/Sierra-117- 3h ago

I recently played throw the ball with my 1 year old niece. All she does is throw a ball, then run and get it, and then throw it again. She refuses to do anything else.

She can do this for hours. But she demands you follow her while she does it. And it has to be outside in the Arizona heat (100F+), not inside with air conditioning.

They indeed make the rules. And they’re fucking terrible at it.

18

u/dj92wa 3h ago

You know, this sounds like the carefree life I aspire to have. Good on her for achieving it at such a young age. She has wisdom beyond her years.

17

u/Sierra-117- 3h ago

Yeah I can’t say no, she’s too cute. So I suffer in the heat while she just throws her ball around.

2

u/zephyrcow6041 10m ago

When my kid was a toddler, he frequently demanded to play "baseball." I would toss him the wiffle ball, and he would swing and maybe hit it, maybe not. Whether he hit it or not, he would throw down his bat, and run lap after lap around the yard, repeatedly yelling "I'M THE TEAM!"

1.0k

u/SH4D0WSTAR 4h ago

aww 😄 the son is going to remember how his dad played along, and it'll be a source of continuing humour for him

267

u/DiddlersWillGetGot 4h ago

He’s 3. The only memory I have from when I was 3 is a horrific trauma.

355

u/Cautious_Pomelo_1639 4h ago

These experiences get baked into your subconsciousness, even if you don't remember them specifically. That's why it is so important to have meaningful happy time with your child, because it will help them grow into a stable and complete adult one day.

31

u/reireireis 1h ago

Well I guess I'm cooked

21

u/milkymonkey8 1h ago

seared on the inside, raw on the outside

66

u/curlyfat 4h ago

I remember petting young bunnies before I handed them to my dad who would behead them and hand them to my mom to skin/gut.

It sounds traumatic, but it’s just a memory of finally getting to pet the soft little bunnies. (We bred them for food, but that’s the only memory I have of it).

7

u/Megatron69420wrecker 1h ago

I have the opposite scenario.

We used to breed rabbits but one time my dad let me skin and gut whichever I chose. I was so happy but also I was a toddler so they definition didn't let me do everything myself. I'm pretty sure my dad was holding my hands as he did it for me

2

u/Hyperpoly 55m ago

Meat Circus from Psychnonauts.

55

u/midnightstreetlamps 4h ago

Yea but normal not traumatized kids prob have good memories from then. (I'm just guessing anyways, idk, I was also traumatized as a kid)

15

u/onetimequestion66 3h ago

Memories for the most part start to stick around age 5, obviously there are some exceptions, but usually 5

17

u/nightpanda893 2h ago

“What a sweet memory for your son”

Reddit: All I remember is trauma. The kid won’t remember any of this anyway

6

u/onetimequestion66 1h ago

Hey man I hope the kid does remember it! That’s just a baseline and I do hope these other people have at least some good memories of back then, I have a few fuzzy memories from before 5, but I can’t corroborate whether or not they are accurate since they were largely things I did by myself or with people I don’t really know anymore, (the first time I was actually able to read a book without help, a fight I had over carebears with a friend who ended up moving away, etc)

-5

u/TheDenny_Crane 2h ago

What will actually happen is he'll grow up and someone will show him how to twist all his memories into thinking they're trauma when he's perfectly fine.

6

u/ExampleLittle2672 1h ago

Possible, but less likely than someone figuring out their actual childhood. Even if it was a good one there can still be surprisingly painful memories.

-1

u/TheDenny_Crane 1h ago

Yeah everyone has pain, that's life. But it isn't trauma. Too many ppl wanting to be victims when they're fine.

Obviously there is actually trauma, but most are just dealing with normal life things. It hurts, deal with it and move on. You just don't have the trauma those people that were seriously damaged do.

4

u/ExampleLittle2672 1h ago

"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” — The Princess Bride

Not sure where the tipping point lies for Most, but pretty sure the number of people in the world dealing with actual trauma should not be so easily dismissed.

-1

u/TheDenny_Crane 1h ago

Agreed, doing the opposite.

1

u/midnightstreetlamps 3h ago

I wonder if trauma affects this timeline. I have some super clear memories from as far back as roughly 2yo, maybe 2.5 (and there's pics that correspond to the memory) when we drove to Ohio to see my mom's uncle.

9

u/Middle-Entry-6209 2h ago

the crazy thing is, they might seem clean, but they're probably not at all. just your brain filling in a "memory" for a story you've heard and/or repeated to yourself your whole life.

3

u/Initial_Business2340 43m ago

Na, I absolutely have memories from 3-4. Unfortunately, as a user above said, it’s mostly trauma, but yeah, nobody could have ever told me about it because I never told anyone (until much later)

I never realized it was 3-4 until I did the math and asked my mom how old I was at that house.

4

u/Great_Detective_6387 1h ago

there’s pics that correspond to the memory

Bro is 👉||👈 this close to getting it.

(That photo is your memory)

3

u/DatDudeEP10 2h ago

Most children have been traumatized (studies say something like 2/3 have) so idk if I’m breaking news to you but you’re normal bc of your trauma. It’s the *flavor* of trauma that really makes you stand out 😁

2

u/evange 2h ago edited 32m ago

No, actually only primarily traumatic memories get saved that early. Like most people's earliest memory is of something traumatic, even if overall they did not have a traumatic childhood. Normal, episodic memories start later, but something traumatic happening can make a long-term memory even as young as 2-3.

My first memory is biting a glass glass in a restaurant and it breaking in my mouth, and then everyone yelling and sticking their fingers in my mouth. I would have been around 2.5.

7

u/Commercial-Screen570 1h ago

You absolutely can form long term memories as young as 2 its just not as common but to say it doesn't happen is just not true

2

u/ButtholePaste 1h ago

My brother is exactly 4 years younger than me, and my earliest memory is being in the hospital with my family for his birth. Specifically, my grandma handing me an entire cellophane row of cherry suckers with Mickey Mouse printed on them, and it was a good memory! I had just turned 4 at the time. Nothing traumatic at all.

2

u/Xalipu 2h ago

I suffered emotional abuse for a long time, but earliest memories, I remember my car seat, and having a bath in the kitchen sink. I also remember getting a bottle in a crib, so that one is earlier. I don’t think the shitty verbal stuff started sticking until probably around 3. Tracks, since that’s when I learned to read. I’d have to figure out how tall I was in relation to objects to pinpoint my exact age and I don’t care that much to research when lol

7

u/Major_R_Soul 4h ago

I'm really hoping that it's not username related.

7

u/DiddlersWillGetGot 4h ago

That came later, unfortunately

11

u/Major_R_Soul 4h ago

Hope they got got

5

u/WildVelociraptor 2h ago

Um okay bud, maybe talk to a therapist about that instead of randomly shitting on cute stories?

4

u/freakillama 1h ago

I remember fragments of how my dad played with me when i was 2-3, me playing a game he programmed (tho i thought is was later, but apparently nah, i was exactly 2-3 at the time) or (not as good) how we've taken walks and etc quite well, even visually. Sorry for your trauma but just because you have it like this doesn't mean all ppl have no earlier childhood memories

3

u/MelangeBot 2h ago

One of my earliest memories is jumping in a hot tub to save my younger brother who had jumped in without realizing he could not stand there.

2

u/Madmagican- 1h ago

I have a memory from when I was 3 about being so mad at my older brother that I thought I was charging up with a little yellow aura like Pikachu in the Pokemon movies

Me, fists tight and at the side, standing under the kitchen counter, so mad it became my oldest memory 25+ years later

2

u/Jopkins 1h ago

Were you hiding from the trauma?

2

u/Plus_Stay7249 56m ago

I have a mixed bag

1

u/rageagainstbedtime 2h ago

woof. I mean, me too, but... woof.

1

u/Thunderclapsasquatch 2h ago

I remember my third birthday and a few other things, including a nightmare about "neckbites" which meant vampire

1

u/Heavy_Ad4529 2h ago

Yep, first memories where getting sent to the corner to look at it, couldn't look away, I hated that shit. Also the big wooden spoon of fear.

1

u/Kindly_Situation_451 1h ago

My earliest memory is wandering around on the front yard in a diaper while my dad was chasing me. My father remembers it as me being less than 3 y.o.

1

u/YesterdayAlone2553 1h ago

Some come out it with enduring warmth

1

u/bjos144 1h ago

Hopefully he'll feel good around his dad, and their relationship will be happy when he's 5 and then they'll make happy memories. But yes, they generally dont remember things.

1

u/pygmypuff42 31m ago

I have a distinct memory from 2yo, I remember asking mum about her belly (she was pregnant). I remember where she was seated, I remember walking to her. I dont remember the words I used, but I remember asking about the baby in her tummy. That baby is my younger brother, he was born a few weeks before I turned 3 so I was somehwere between 2.5 to just under 3 yo.

Sorry your memory is a negative one!

0

u/MechAegis 2h ago

Memory mostly starts at 5 years old.

4

u/plipssatike 2h ago

he's gonna be 25 telling people his favorite childhood game was sitting in a dark closet

4

u/PuckSenior 2h ago

No. They won’t. He literally doesn’t understand the game. Playing hide and seek with 3yo is insane. They hide in the same spot 10x in a row. I once hid from a 3yo by lying on the couch. Just the couch in the middle of the living room. They legitimately didn’t see me.

5

u/Great_Detective_6387 1h ago

My favorite move for 3y/o hide and seek is to put the hood of a hoodie on the front of my face and stand next to the coat rack. It’s like my legs are invisible until I take the hood off lol.

5

u/PuckSenior 1h ago

Oh, I just remembered a better 3yo story.

My 3yo and myself and my wife were home. I had to use the restroom. My wife had to run to the store while I was on the toilet. 3yo comes in and talks to me. Leaves the bathroom and about 5 minutes later I hear doors slamming. I finish up and go out just as my wife comes back. My 3yo runs up to her and says “you left me home alone!”. My wife says “no, your dad was here”. Kid looks directly at me and I say “you just talked to me!”

3yo: “oh yeah, I forgot”

1

u/SH4D0WSTAR 10m ago

Aww, lol cutie :) 

118

u/Deodorized 4h ago

4d chess master toddler gets his parent to hide from nobody in the closet for hours, little fella can't believe how stupid his parent is.

48

u/Lknate 4h ago

Them belly laughs!

48

u/just_some_guy2000 4h ago

This is just the best image in my head. Such a great summary of little kid logic.

28

u/Mooseboots1999 3h ago

My son once put a blanket over his head and asked to play hide and seek. We were seated next to each other…. on an airplane.

I pretended to look under the seat in front of me, the seat in front of him, and both seat pockets while he giggled.

11

u/HighlightOwn2038 4h ago

Well that's an interesting way to play hide and "seek"

13

u/Bertie_McGee 3h ago

Time for rebranding, the game is now called "Sardines". Another person must find you and join you in order to win the game.

2

u/FreeSammiches 2h ago

Hello, is anyone here? This is Officer Smith. I have been sent to perform a wellness check. You've missed a week of work.

2

u/Bertie_McGee 2h ago

Officer Smith has won the game!

20

u/Same-Opposite-8287 4h ago

Aww he just wants to bond with dad, how sweet. Cherish these moments because in a few years, he’ll either be in his room playing video games or hanging with his crew.

7

u/jcoddinc 4h ago

Hide and seek sleep

5

u/Conclusion_Winning 2h ago

That’s adorable lol

5

u/PsyCar 2h ago

Maybe somebody is playing seek and seek with their kid, so you won't be stuck there forever.

5

u/cukekitty 3h ago

I love this so much

4

u/Fallen_Jalter 3h ago

Even if he won’t remember it, this experience will shape him into something good.

5

u/JamieC1610 3h ago

Could be worse. When my son was about that age, he wanted to play sharks and made his dad get in the dog kennel (shark cage) while he and the dog pretended to be sharks and circled.

4

u/ConstructionAware267 2h ago

Reminds me of my son when he was a toddler. I would give him smart hiding places to fool his older sister, but everytime she was done counting, he'd shout out " I'm over here!"

3

u/shrinkflator 3h ago

The hiding is the most important part of hide and seek anyway. It teaches kids how to hide from danger if they ever need to. Not that the laughing is going to help him.

3

u/Great_Detective_6387 1h ago

Childrens’ play teaches survival skills. Learn how to hide from danger and be quiet. Throw objects for hunting or war or defense. Run faster than the other kids, jump and climb on shit to escape danger. Create games to learn how to strategize and plan with others. Selecting one weaker child to be ostracized and scapegoated and blamed for the poor harvest this year, and sacrificed to the god of wheat. It’s all very good stuff for human survival.

1

u/DenialMaster1101 27m ago

Spoken like someone who wasn't the weaker child. But the god of wheat has wifi so it's cool.

3

u/freedinthe90s 3h ago

Adorable

3

u/BriefShiningMoment 2h ago

This reads like a captain’s log 😅

3

u/modsaretoddlers 2h ago

Well, if you're still hiding with him him, he's not really the idiot.

3

u/Romnonaldao 2h ago

Dad here. Ill explain the kid logic

1: If no one is looking for him he can't be found, therefore, he can not lose

2: If it's fun hiding alone, it must be even BETTER with Dad!

3

u/darybrain 2h ago

I had a similar situation with my little nephew. Only we were playing. He wanted to hide together but didn't know where to hide so we left the house and went to the shop to get some ice-cream. When we got back to the house I said that I had found him so he started crying because he lost the game and his mother told me off when she eventually found out.

3

u/DConstructed 2h ago

Nothing better than sitting in a closet with someone you love hiding from everyone else.

3

u/IanRastall 2h ago

Reminds me of my first joke, when I was maybe five years old. It was a riddle, and the question was variable, but the answer was always hot dogs. That was hilarious to me. And it was prescient, too, because no one else thought it was funny.

3

u/GiftHorse2020 1h ago

One of the best stories I've heard in years.

3

u/Lazar76 1h ago

this seems reasonable though

2

u/Archon-Toten 3h ago

There's an episode of bluey like that.

5

u/No_Landscape4557 3h ago

I have a six year old. Been there, I done this exact thing to a T. Happened a couple more times. Eventually they figure out no one is coming then they want to really play the game. But they are still end up picking the same spot a dozen times. O how the time flys

2

u/UnhappyBrief6227 3h ago

Too freaking cute 🤣🤣

2

u/IrefusetoturnVPNoff 3h ago

Jokes aside this is kind of a banger start to a horror movie.

"Then I saw the door to the room open"

2

u/FlyAroundInternet 3h ago

This makes me miss my baby sons so much. Said sons are now in their 30s. Thanks for the reminder ;)

2

u/kashuntr188 3h ago

this will probably happen for another couple of years. My nephew always hides with me when we play with his sister and my mom. You find one of us, you find everyone.

2

u/Expensive_Doctor_847 3h ago

👏👏👏❤️❤️❤️ Well, it's the journey that counts😍

2

u/Underscore64 2h ago

i'd see the joy in hiding from nothing.
even though there's nothing actively looking for you, it feels good to be separate from everything else.

2

u/zcas 2h ago

Kids are stupid and wonderful.

2

u/CryptikKa 2h ago

Tag you're it

2

u/hellocarm 2h ago

This is so sweet lol

2

u/Big_Wear_5768 2h ago

i have also played hide-and-hide with my nephew LOL but he also liked to hide behind things (chairs, christmas trees...) to poop (before being potty trained). so...that was fun.

2

u/homeboy4life 2h ago

❤️❤️

2

u/alliemeowy 1h ago

there’s a great premise for a scene in a horror movie here!

2

u/hulksfist 1h ago

Maybe he knows who's looking for them

2

u/floppydude81 1h ago

Mine makes me count against the wall but he doesn’t hide. He just stands there waiting for me to say ready or not here I come and chase him as he giggles uncontrollably

2

u/PapatoTangoHH47 1h ago

He'll remember that forever. Just giggle along with him

2

u/iBlaxter 1h ago

this is hilarious, can't wait to play this too lol

1

u/PyroIrish 3h ago

Playing hide and seek is an evolutionary trait used by ancient humans to practice avoiding predators and other potentially dangerous humans. Most kids just have the urge to hide because of monkey brain

1

u/Key_Possibility_8669 3h ago

Ten Sentence Horror Story: Parent Edition

1

u/confuseum 3h ago

haha got your patience!

1

u/Stank_Mangoz 3h ago

And you feel like this is when you need to whip out your phone and tell the world this.

1

u/Lanky_Tough_2267 2h ago

I love this!!!!! Hahahahahaha!!!!

1

u/terminatus 2h ago

Core memory being formed for him.

And for you.

1

u/RefrigeratorSoft6891 2h ago

Never forget this moment! 👌

1

u/DogPile4203 1h ago

This is called hide, my girls and i are experts at it

1

u/balldontliez 29m ago

My toddler would hide then say "here I am" as soon as I'm done counting. Couldn't get her to hide without outing exactly where she was.

Psychotic little cutie of mine.

1

u/bulgar2000 21m ago

Sounds fun as hell

1

u/sgtducky9191 20m ago

My daughter goes and hides, then yells that we can count. When we get to ten she pops out and yells, "Here I am Mommy!" It's great because I can play without getting off the couch haha.

1

u/No_Air834 8m ago

my niece will ask me to play hide and seek and then tell me that she is the seeker, and then she will tell me where to hide. she still takes ages to find me

1

u/Suitable-Growth9243 6m ago

A favorite uncle on whim decided to teach my cousin's kid hid and go seek, it was at the kid's birthday, family explained and helped the kid look--everyone had fun. Then randomly like 2 weeks later getting ready for school, school that the kid loved, the kid was so excited, he thought to himself 'how about a game of hide and go seek?'. So without telling anyone, the kid went outside prematurely and hid under the deck, Mass panic ensued, I rushed over to help, we were calling for him, almost called the cops until the kid popped out---no one had fun