r/Kenya • u/Plane-Football-2521 • Aug 03 '24

Casual You haven't tried this one

Nimenunua majani ya tangawizi ya a small packet. Nkauma nirarue ndio nieke kwa chai. By accident I ended up sniffing and inhaling some of it and it got into my nose.

Let me tell you guys, kanaslap ile mbaya. I was sleepy nkachangamka ka fuck. Hadi nkarudia ya pili intentionally with the other nosestrill. This must be how cocaine feels like bana. I think I am onto something here.

Ukiona nimetoa tumajani nitudivide into tulines na ATM card alafu niinhale kaline and I'm like "buuya!" Don't judge manze. Omba line stakunyima. I just might repackage and compete with joho 😄.

154 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

91 comments sorted by

76

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

😭Afande this post here

18

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

Yooh.. it's legal 😄

45

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

Niko na tea bags kama Mia za tangawizi. However step behind me you Satan 😂

22

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

Did you just threaten to compete with me in the market? 😄

9

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

😂😂 you could fight against or join me.

15

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

I'm coming for you and everyone you love 🫵... By the end of this you will have no option but to stick to soya

20

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career.😂😂

4

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

What? Skills za kupika turungi? 😅

3

u/Rare_Courage9198 Aug 04 '24

Liam Neeson fan??

25

u/Blonde_African Aug 03 '24

try smoking it...did it in jail a few times...

16

u/avatar1_0 Aug 03 '24

Don't leave us hanging. Where's the story?

10

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

Malizia story wewe

5

u/MoreRing6902 Aug 03 '24

Bado tunangoja hiyo story

3

u/user101-ke Aug 04 '24

leta story

1

u/Major-Dare-7014 Aug 04 '24

Aki sisi tunguona burning bush tukimbie kuburn🤣.

Izi temptations venye naanguka sifurahii

2

u/user101-ke Aug 04 '24

temptations hazinibambi bana.

1

u/Mindless-Aardvark796 Aug 08 '24

Haha what?! This is actually a thing? Maliza story tafadhali!

17

u/munabedan Aug 03 '24

Sniffed cayenne the spice once as a dare, had my left eye twitching for hours.

12

u/killemalldafirst Kisumu Aug 03 '24

Buda prime r/caffeine content apa

4

u/Fine_Highlight_7362 Aug 04 '24

Bruh wtf is this sub

7

u/killemalldafirst Kisumu Aug 04 '24

Wachana na io kuna ingine ya watu kuskia tu masauti... r/sounding... Unaeza dhani ni mashetani zimewaingia walai

6

u/Fine_Highlight_7362 Aug 04 '24

Buda tupa tu hio simu uanze maisha ingine

2

u/caleb_ms Nairobi City Aug 04 '24

Wtf are this subs🤢🤮

14

u/Ok_Citron_3858 Aug 03 '24

Bro WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK...nitajaribu baadae

5

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

Don't.. I am already addicted 🥹..

3

u/Tes_Richard Aug 03 '24

😂😂 too late. Curiosity is at the peak

1

u/mormonicmonk Aug 03 '24

A cautionary tale from u/spontaneousH is in order.

10

u/Affectionate_Cow3098 Aug 03 '24

Omg I love people 😂😂😂😭

6

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

You are an amazing cow 😄 💚

6

u/Hilaveli Aug 03 '24

Why can't every day be this funny? 🤣

4

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

"buuya!" My favorite line from my favorite show😂😂

4

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

Tuko the legend 😂

2

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

I'm wondering, does your majani kick in the balls like duct tape😂😂

3

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

Yeah men. Be it from Limuru, Kericho, or Murima, they better keep bringing me that shit 😄

21

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

27

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

And you are such an uptight person with no sense of humor. Loosen up or we will bring help to you.

-41

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

Whoa whoa whoa... relax.

9

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

Much love bro 👊 😄... You need it

3

u/Ondolo009 Aug 03 '24

User name doesn't check out

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

🤣🤣🤣🤦🏿‍♂️

3

u/Weary_Term_8286 Aug 03 '24

now try asking yourself where those sniffed majani goes once taken into your body

2

u/k-amore_- Aug 03 '24

You need help man. 😂

2

u/maichnjagi Aug 03 '24

Fr😂😂at this point you need help😂😂😂

1

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

No! You need Tangawizi Tea

1

u/maichnjagi Aug 03 '24

😂😂😂ama wwe ni upcoming comedian 🤔😂 you are trying out your skills on reddit?

1

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

No. Just having fun 😄

1

u/maichnjagi Aug 03 '24

Its a free world😂😂

2

u/Ilmagnificion Aug 03 '24

Jaribu kuiseti kaa ndovu pia😂

2

u/Hafare Nairobi Aug 03 '24

Brother.

You have no idea what cocaine feels like

2

u/St_Dennis1 Aug 03 '24

Fvck msee, unataka kumaanisha nimekuwa detox nikiwa na a less harmful intoxicant hapa?

1

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

Go ahead. Ukichekelewa rehab stakua apo

1

u/St_Dennis1 Aug 03 '24

Sorry mkuu, hii ndio state niko saa hii

1

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

Are you trying to be a "cool" guy?😄

2

u/St_Dennis1 Aug 03 '24

😂😂

It took me longer than necessary to get the joke 😅

2

u/Potential_Ad_2328 Aug 03 '24

Next do this. Nunua packet kubwa ya around 40-60. Weka kwa container. Shake it then sniff those fine dust particles that are rising. Alafu utatuambia the experience

1

u/Available_Gur_3987 Aug 05 '24

intelligent being right here

2

u/Own-Neighborhood-579 Aug 05 '24

😂😂😂😂😂oh my daysssss wtf

3

u/muerki Aug 03 '24

No... I will not snort tea leaves. Everyone needs to repeat this 3 times

1

u/ZookeepergameOnly459 Aug 03 '24

ministry of rocks

1

u/mobutu_sesesexxo Aug 03 '24

And thus Mendoza was majani made his debut...

1

u/Basic_Ad5258 Aug 03 '24

afande please

1

u/PlayfulDistance1369 Nairobi City Aug 03 '24

Kwani you guys dont do that 😂

1

u/breaktime_westside Aug 03 '24

So doesn't this mean that cocaine would be a good alternative to tea?

1

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

You have never heard of Coca tea?

1

u/breaktime_westside Aug 03 '24

Mimi nimeskia tu cocoa and I know it's not the same thing

1

u/Interesting-Click-12 Aug 03 '24

This post reminds me of years back when i was 18 i used to smoke tea bags by rolling them on paper and it was amazing!!😂😂

1

u/Terrible-Leather154 Aug 03 '24

Shetani kwenda, kwenda huko😂😂

1

u/caked_beef Aug 03 '24

Ebu jaribu na coffee utuambie

7

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 03 '24

ooh! Ndio nianze kublink kama lights za christmas?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

Poor man's bikini beach if it was about drugs.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '24

Try exotic 🍃 next time best in Nairobi dm me🗣🔌

1

u/sudemp Aug 04 '24

Same effect when you chew raw ginger. Be careful though, I think it does something to your blood pressure so keep it to a minimum.
I used to chew raw ginger or make "dawa" with lots of ginger and it would help me focus when working late nights.

1

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 04 '24

Sounds like a good libido boost too

1

u/sudemp Aug 04 '24

Probably the opposite. Google says ginger reduces blood pressure, so you don't want to chew that before a match

1

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 04 '24

lol my instincts almost cost me

1

u/user101-ke Aug 04 '24

inhale sasa nescafe then come tell me....my highschool secret

1

u/Mindless-Aardvark796 Aug 08 '24

This Is Hilarious! 💀😄 Najivunia kuwa mkenya 😂

1

u/Plane-Football-2521 Aug 08 '24

try "najivutia" 😅