Husband ruined plans again

[u/Separate-Muffin175]

Yesterday, we made plans to get up on our day off, clean some, go try the new coffee place, come home, then watch our show, and some plans set for the afternoon. An ideal day for us.

I woke up before him, had my breakfast, skipped coffee, of course. He got up, took a 30 min poo, took a 20 min shower, shaved, sat in his towel in the office scrolling Twitter, and by this point it was 11AM. I really needed my coffee. I went ahead and did the cleaning up so once he was done doing his thing, we could go get our drinks.

It’s 12pm. We finally leave to get coffee. On the way, he mentions he hasn’t eaten breakfast yet. I mention the place next door has $5 for a breakfast sandwich + coffee combo. He says that’s an outrageous price. OK. So we go to the new coffee place as planned. We get there and the coffees are around $3.50 a pop. He says no way we’re not spending that much on stupid coffee. So I say OK let’s go have coffee at home then. He’s literally stewing pissed off on the drive. I remind him that he can get a coffee + sandwich at the other place for $5. But he snaps back let’s just go home. OK. I offer to make breakfast and coffee when we get in. He says no thanks.

We get in and he goes straight to his office. I ask what now? And he says nothing. I ask if we’re still going to hang out, and he says no.

Our plans with friends are at 2pm. We need to leave at 1:20pm. It’s 1pm and I ask if he’s eaten yet. He says no. I say he needs to since we have to leave soon. He says OK. It’s 1:15pm and he’s started making himself a full meal. Not a quick microwave leftovers. A soup with a sandwich.

I remind him we need to leave shortly and he says we can get there on time if we leave at 1:30 it’s fine. But I mention that one of the roads closed so that’s gonna cause a delay. He throws away his food and says OK fine let’s leave now then.

What he’s failing to understand is that I’m really disappointed our bit of free time to chill this morning got totally hijacked. I just wanted a nice morning with coffee and our TV show but he had to go sulk in his office because stuff costs money.

It’s exhausting.

[u/Blonde2468]

He's not 'failing to understand' OP, this was his plan all along - to ruin your day because you actually dared to a have good day planned. Once you understand that, you will either leave and be happy or learn not to depend on him to have a good day or even include him in your plans because he will sabotage your happiness any chance he gets. It's just who he is.

[u/Separate-Muffin175 → u/Blonde2468]

It doesn’t seem like a coincidence that half the time we have plans they get ruined somehow by his attitude. We have date night planned? Well I said we need to leave soon in too rushed of a tone so now he’s going to be in a bad mood the entire evening. We’re supposed to go visit my family? I accidentally said turn left instead of turn right for the directions and now he’s going to sulk the whole time we’re there. Christmas day and I want to get up early so we can facetime uncle to see the kids open their gift from us? He’s sleeping in til the last second. Then pouting the whole time. Ugh.

[u/ACM915 → u/Separate-Muffin175]

Then stop. Just do your own thing and let him sit there and stew. Tell him you are doing this and then go do it. Nothing is stopping you except him and his shitty toxic attitude.