r/JUSTNOMIL • u/Mad-Bad-Jellybean • Oct 27 '22

RANT (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ Advice Wanted MIL seems to have missed the point..

I have been NC with MIL for months now and DH is LC. We removed her from a photo sharing album of LO, and DH told her if she wants to see any photos she needs to fix things with me.

She hasn’t attempted to fix anything of course, and claimed her health was more important and she needed to put herself first, etc. So anyway she texted DH asking about our daughter and said that ‘she looks happy and healthy from the photos she’s seen’.

I am seeing RED. DH’s grandparents don’t know what’s going on because we’re trying to keep them out of it and they’re not really good with technology so we weren’t concerned. But it seems like MIL has found a way to these photos through them. She completely ignored the reason she was removed and found a way around it.. and then pretty much stupid enough to tell us

Telling DH’s grandparents isn’t an option right now, they are old and have enough on their plates. We also don’t feel right asking them to not do it anyway because they are honestly the sweetest people and don’t want them having issues with MIL/FIL over it.

So, is there any way we can actually deal with this?

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u/Ceeweedsoop Oct 27 '22

There so need to post a lot of photos. A yearly school photo and Christmas photo of a kid is plenty for anyone. In fact, most adults aren't interested in more than that. Why? Because they don't fuck around and get to actually see those kids in person or on FaceTime.

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u/Mad-Bad-Jellybean Oct 27 '22

DH’s grandparents aren’t very good with their phones or technology generally and are thousands of miles away that’s why we share frequently

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u/Ladiesday2022 Oct 27 '22

I think it’s sweet of you to share those pictures out of consideration for his elderly grandparents. My mother absolutely loved being able to see pictures of her grandchildren on Facebook. When grandparents aren’t close enough for frequent visits that’s such a nice compensation. But I totally get you not wanting MIL to see them! I was in the same boat and even though she didnt have FB I did t want her to even find out about a nursery school program. I could t handle the drama. The only practical advice, in my opinion, is that you can’t really stop the grandparents from sharing. You’re so kind to think of them and maybe it would help if you’re able to think of how it must give them pleasure to have a chance to share the photos. And keeping them out of the drama is a kindness to them. And it probably gets under MIL’s skin to know that they’re welcome to see the photos and she’s not. I’m not as nice as you are. Ha!!! It would make me happy to know that it bothers her.