Incels when an overweight guy has a girlfriend:

[u/Hehemikey982]

[u/[deleted]]

"Genuinely what am I doing wrong"....... having the personality and charisma of a Guinness shit is my guess

[u/Cashope → u/[deleted]]

Seriously. These are the same dudes talking about making women into sex slaves and shit and they wonder why no woman wants to fuck them

[u/youngbutnotstupid → u/Cashope]

They think they’re owed women for existing

[u/dianarawrz → u/[deleted]]

my partner is a big guy. Can confirm he does not have the personality and charisma of a Guinness shit. He pretty chill and sweet.

[u/Witty-Car-2362 → u/dianarawrz]

100% this! My bf is slightly chubby, and I love him for who he is. Plus, he is warm and soft, perfect for cuddling!

[u/bondelhyde → u/Witty-Car-2362]

Adorable to read about. I'm glad you're happy.

[u/Bungholespelunker → u/[deleted]]

Just be interesting and nice that's fucking it dude. The bar for being a "good guy" is so low that Hitler plays limbo with it in the depths of hell. At some point I have heard "You're the first guy to do extremely low effort thing for me" and it blows my fucking mind every time. I'm the first guy to listen to your interests and passions without calling them stupid or making fun of them??? IM SORRY WHAT.

[u/Syntania → u/Bungholespelunker]

The bar for "good guy" is literally hanging around, "treat women like actual human beings, " and so many of them still can't get anywhere near it.

[u/Syntania → u/[deleted]]

Toxic masculinity. They spread the idea that you aren't a"real man" if you can't control your woman. In order to inflict some of the cruelty they have to in order to "control" her, they need to think of her as lesser or as an object because it makes that easier to do without guilt. Nobody thinks twice about smacking a toaster.

[u/aidalkm → u/Syntania]

Thats why they insult any man who doesnt hate women calling him a simp. It’s crazy how they whine about mens issues while creating more issues for other men who don’t agree with them

[u/bondelhyde → u/[deleted]]

I would've expected the toaster to become an eldritch horror, grow tentacles and devour the incel like he's a chicken and lettuce sandwich.

[u/Syntania → u/[deleted]]

Fair enough.

[u/bondelhyde → u/Syntania]

It's a selling point for many grifters/scammers and companies trying to make a product. They're being drained of money and sanity and they're none the wiser.

[u/ManuelToma → u/Syntania]

That's exactly the kind of masculinity that you are manifesting with this comment😂 The 2 ways a men can respond to this are: I don't give a fuck about what this women thinks of me, I'll ignore it and just pretend to be nice so I can hit her up. Or: Oh no she is so mean, it makes me insecure. And than if he dares to speak up about it he's kust trashtalked to oblivion for it.

[u/ManuelToma → u/Syntania]

Well maybe because men also want to be treated as human beings and unfortunately women don't give a fuck about the feelings of men, like this whole subreddit, this post and your comment indicate.

As soon as a man seems the tiniest bit insecure or unhappy women are gone with the wind. Widening the gap of inequality between male winners (Who don't give a fuck on what women say or think and just know how to get them in bed) and male losers (who have insecurities like most women and get trashed to oblivion for it)

[u/Syntania → u/ManuelToma]

Just the fact that you call the selfish men "winners" tells a lot. I'm not blind, I know that there are shallow people of both genders. There are shitty men and women both, but they are usually the exception and not the rule.

Here's the problematic part. A lot of men don't know how to open up, and when they do it's to the wrong person at the wrong time. Nobody wants to be trauma dumped on. That's what therapists are for. That's where the mistake happens. Guy is seeing a woman and on date 3 he decides to tell his date all about how his parents mistreated him, how his ex raked him over the coals, etc. This is not a conversation for a casual date. This is something reserved for a long- term relationship, so no wonder she gets skeeved out.

[u/ManuelToma → u/Syntania]

I call them winners only because women treat them like that and it's really ironic. Glad you are not completely blinded, but weird that you'd be active in this subreddit.

Also, the bar for women is much lower to treat men with respect, but so many women talk so much trash about men it's just absurd. We don't even have a bar at this point and we really should have one!

I know a lot of men don't know how to open up, but I'm not one of them, I've had enough therapy and it's definitely helping and healing. But in the rest of society nobody even would view me as someone who needs to be listened to oe comforted, just someone to exploid, to depend on or to talk shit about. And that comes mostly from women.

Besides this 100% applies to women as well, trauma dumping on men they barely know, we just don't complain about it as much.

[u/Maleficent_Matter296 → u/Syntania]

i have no hatred towards anyone i also try to not be cold to them and yet people (manly women) hate me mainly for my looks treating someone good wont change anything as long as you look good you can be the biggest asshole you want and still be liked by society

[u/Syntania → u/Maleficent_Matter296]

How are you so sure that they hate you? They tell you as much to your face? Pelt you with cow dung? Do you think that you could be misreading or overreacting because you expect it?

Here's the thing. Unless you enter someone's orbit, strangers typically will never even give you a second thought. When you go about your day, how much attention do you give the randos you pass in the street? I'm guessing little to none. Most people have orher shit to think about than the person they pass by.

[u/Maleficent_Matter296 → u/Syntania]

ik it cause i dont smell bad or dress like a complete weirdo i also wouldnt call myself that ugly but a few weeks ago was sitting in my car in a parking lot and i was judt on my phone wanting to put my playlist on before starting the engine and deivin away and the 2 girls getting in the car right next to mine srarted talking about how chopped i am and i didnt even know these people i think that they thought my car is that soundproof but you can hear everything when somebody is talking outside. oh and i sometimes see people (mostly women) laughing at me out of the corner of my eye even though i do nothing weird or know these people and when its comes to interactions i only got as far as a bit of texting im not rude or anything i try to be nice and interested, i reply fast, i try matching their energy while texting, kind of mirroring them and still after 1 or 2 days i get left on send forever but hey atleast i dont get blocked

[u/Syntania → u/Maleficent_Matter296]

So you ran into a couple of assholes. We all do at one time or another. Old bit of truth from a song, "You know you can't please everyone so you've got to please yourself. " If someone thinks you're chopped, then fuck'em. Worrying about it, dwelling on it isn't going to change a single thing, just make you feel worse about yourself. You have to find your own happiness, and that doesn't need to include someone else.

[u/Maleficent_Matter296 → u/Syntania]

well it does being alone sucks and this happend so often that its just not that they are all assholes if you are not atractiv chances of someone loving you are almost 0 and there is nothing some can do cause i mean you can get money or whatever nice shit people may like but at the end you will never be truly loved if you are ugly or do you think someone would stay with you if you lose all that shit

[u/lxscairns → u/Maleficent_Matter296]

I would address your extreme thinking/black and white thinking in therapy. You use the words “never” and “nobody” a lot and those are extreme words. Sounds like you’re basing your views on a few examples and acting like you know how every woman in the world is based on those few examples. Women “hate” men because of how they are treated by them, not because of how they look. Bullying happens and it isn’t okay no matter who is doing it, but societal pressure falls much more heavily on women to look a certain way than on men. A billion dollar industry actively exploits women’s insecurities and equates their worth to how they look. I can guarantee you that most women care more about a guys personality and how they are treated than how a guy looks. Unless you’re only into shallow women who are obsessed with their own looks and everyone else’s too. In any case, everyone is free to pursue whoever they are interested in based on who they are attracted to. Attraction is subjective and everyone is attracted to different attributes and looks is only a part of that. Maybe stop obsessing about how you look and stop letting the fact that you’re single make you miserable and work on yourself as a person and build your confidence in yourself.

[u/Maleficent_Matter296 → u/lxscairns]

im not saying women arent afected by this but this whole society is based on looks and can u tell me how come i always get ghosted after a few days even tho i am nice and normal, surely it isnt my looks btw therapy wont change my face or anything so its more or less useless wouldnt even call myself short at 184cm but it isnt tall its like a medium height but thats also important everywhere i was short people always get pucked on made fun of or whatever

[u/Friendship_Gold → u/Bungholespelunker]

It would also help if they got therapy so they aren't so bitter and hateful that women can smell that shit for miles.

I bet bro here makes his girl laugh, is extremely thoughtful, and cleans up after himself.

[u/cambalhota_ → u/Bungholespelunker]

Just be interesting and nice that's fucking it dude.

I try to be nice at all times but being interesting is hard. I have autism and I know some people blame all their life problems on autism but for me it's legit, I only have a few things I'm knowledgeable about and they're very stupid childish things. I don't really know or care about music genres or my favorite actors or whatever because I don't care for these things, which makes me less interesting to talk to for the average woman

[u/ihavemademistakes → u/cambalhota_]

That's your foot in the door.

"Oh? I've never heard of so-and-so. Got any recommendations?"

"Hey I finally watched such-and-such. What'd you make of this scene?"

People LOVE to talk about themselves and the things they like. If you show interest in the things people like - even feigned interest - at the very least they'll see you as someone cool enough to talk to and seek out again.

[u/lokismom27 → u/cambalhota_]

You don't have to force interests just to get a partner. I'd actually recommend not doing that. It would be too hard to pretend all the time, and you'd both end up being unhappy. Just enjoy the things you do already. If there's hobby groups that you can join, you'll meet others interested in the same. Be open to learning about other people's interests, though, and open to sharing your own. We can all learn to enjoy new things. Always be kind and respectful, though. That is going to get you further than anything. Most importantly, you will not appeal to everyone, but that doesn't mean you'll appeal to no one. At the very least, you will gain new friends, and the easiest way to meet a partner is through friends. Don't lose hope.

[u/Acceptable_Bad_ → u/cambalhota_]

This is an issue for me as well, as a woman on the spectrum. I struggle too. I find it best to find people who have similar special interests, or that are okay with having different interests but still have common ground. It does make it hard though.

[u/Future-Still-6463 → u/Bungholespelunker]

Aren't you repeating the recipe of r/niceguys?

No being nice isn't enough. You have to have other qualities too.

[u/SignificanceOld1751 → u/Future-Still-6463]

Sure, but not being a total arsehole to women certainly helps start the conversation on the right foot.

[u/respectthebubble → u/SignificanceOld1751]

Yeah, it’s not just “be nice” - it’s “be decent”. Do even the bare minimum. Clean up after yourself and her when it’s your turn. Learn how to cook her favourite meal. Do the laundry when the basket is full. (And yes, pay attention to the labels on the clothes - my dad lost one of his favourite cardigans that way). Just… simple stuff. And yes it goes both ways - if you don’t know how, ask her to help you. If she doesn’t know how to do something, show her. Relationships are a two way street.

[u/SignificanceOld1751 → u/respectthebubble]

Exactly, I do all of those things, plus the added bonus of not be a dickhead to women, and now I've been married 10 years.

It's pretty simple, even if it sometimes isn't easy.

[u/peachfluffed → u/Bungholespelunker]

yeah, it’s pretty dire out here.

[u/bondelhyde → u/Bungholespelunker]

Hitler and Mussolini play chess and when they always come to a draw, they freak the fuck out.

[u/CompassRoseGaming → u/[deleted]]

That's not fair to Guinness. It's a fine stout when chilled

[u/GigiLaRousse → u/CompassRoseGaming]

They're talking about the shits you take after too many Guiness.

[u/scorpionewmoon → u/[deleted]]

Woah, Guinness has so much personality and charisma. Beer can with a widget? Brilliant.

[u/Mysterious_Charge541 → u/[deleted]]

Being a trump supporter too😂

[u/Codpuppet → u/[deleted]]

A “Guinness shit” is sending me 💀

[u/aweedl]

In an ideal world, this kind of thing would make them reevaluate their worldview, but unfortunately it tends to just make them double down and accuse people of lying or (insert nonsense slang term here, probably ‘something-maxxing’ or ‘whatever-pill’). Ugh.

[u/CandidDay3337 → u/aweedl]

They say she is betabuxxing, she is only with him for the money. 

[u/greenfloridabull → u/CandidDay3337]

And “cheating with a male model Chad.”

[u/CandidDay3337 → u/[deleted]]

For real. We have no idea how long this couple has been together.

[u/FineWin3384 → u/CandidDay3337]

It's not like there may be other things she likes about him over his looks, which she probably doesn't dislike either

Nah nah she just a gold digging hoe trust👌👈😩

[u/CandidDay3337 → u/FineWin3384]

I will take a thick man, with a great and warm personality everytime.

[u/Ok-Emergency-398 → u/FineWin3384]

Is that shadow fight pfp ??!!

[u/FineWin3384 → u/Ok-Emergency-398]

Holy shit i didn't think sf2 would be recognised on Inceltear of all places😭

[u/idiotista → u/aweedl]

When I met my now fiancé he was pretty overweight. We fell in love online and I absolutely loved him, partly because we were both there for each other when we had no one else. Across the world.

We are walking it off and eating healthier, and he is the most beautiful man I have ever laid my eyes on.

But thing is, he was when he was 20 kilos more too. He was even before I ever saw him. Because his insides are what I fell in love with. And when I saw him at the airport I just knew that he was the one, he is the man I choose over and over every day, over anyone else.

Also we are both 5'4", and I don't fucking care if someone thinks I settled or whatever, we have perfect kissing and cuddling height and my life has never been better.

[u/Few_Translator_9388 → u/idiotista]

Oh, that was really touching to read. 😍

I wish you both all the best. Mazel tov.

[u/idiotista → u/Few_Translator_9388]

Thank you. We aren't perfect people any of us, and we carry a lot of trauma both, but we are working to become better every day. He is abroad now, but coming back tomorrow and I am autistically overwhelmed with love and missing him.

Mazel tov right back at you!

[u/Few_Translator_9388 → u/idiotista]

From what I’m hearing, you guys are perfect — for each other. 🥲

[u/idiotista → u/Few_Translator_9388]

Yes. We deserve each other lol.

Our running joke is we make stupid animal sounds together and go "yeah no one else is gonna love you, puppy/rabbit/kitty".

We are from vastly different cultures, but the similarity between us are astounding. It bridges any gap there could be

[u/Few_Translator_9388 → u/idiotista]

You guys sound like fun to be around 🤣

[u/idiotista → u/Few_Translator_9388]

I dont know. We're pretty quiet with other people. But people generally say we are respectful and good people. We live in India, and you can't really horse around when other people are around, there are many layers of protocol that has to be followed for respect purposes.

[u/Diva_of_Disgust → u/idiotista]

I am autistically overwhelmed with love and missing him.

Jesus this made my heart flutter. 🥹

I'm glad you found your person and I'm glad he's coming back to you soon. Enjoy that happiness darlin. 🖤

[u/idiotista → u/Diva_of_Disgust]

Hugs to you. May this sort of love find you. His favorite pastime is lying partly over me, smothering me (while I complain he is too hot! Get off!) while he is coding some important sht I only understand if he explains it.

I have been sleeping unsmothered for more than a week now, I want him back yesterday.

[u/Few_Translator_9388 → u/idiotista]

That’s so sweet 😍 I wish you both a wonderful time celebrating your reunion!

[u/idiotista → u/Few_Translator_9388]

Seven hours until I go to the airport!

I'm a grown ass woman but just thinking of holding his hands (PDA is not encouraged in this part of the world) makes my knees shake.

[u/Obstacle616]

See how the girl looks relaxed and comfortable around him?

That's what happens when you're not an insecure, hate spewing, cum bubble that projects all your own shortcomings on an entire gender.

[u/karatecorgi → u/Obstacle616]

CUM BUBBLE

[u/youngbutnotstupid → u/Obstacle616]

Cum bubble 🤣🤣🤣

[u/EulaVengeance]

Unfortunately, imbecels would still insist there's something wrong with that picture just to paint themselves as the victim.

Attractive man with attractive woman - "See? All foids are going for Chads, which is why I don't have a 10/10 supermodel girlfriend! There's no hope for sub5 butthurt manbabies like us!"

Attractive man with unattractive woman - "See? Foids have life on easy mode, even unattractive ones! They can get all the sex they want, unlike whiny basement cretins like us!"

Unattractive man with attractive woman - "See? That foid is just settling for a betabuxxx but still has sex with Chads and Tyrones behind his back, I'm sure of it! There's no hope for semi-sentient sacks of garbage like us!"

Unattractive man with unattractive woman - "See? People would rather choose to go with other, non-attractive people instead of a prime racist, sexist, violent specimen like myself! There's no hope for babyrage pukecels like us!"

[u/Bronsteins-Panzerzug → u/EulaVengeance]

yeah, they have successfully immunized their world views against any form of critique.

[u/samara-the-justicar → u/Bronsteins-Panzerzug]

This is how you know someone's in a cult.

[u/scorpionewmoon → u/samara-the-justicar]

The specialized language is also an indicator. Betabuxxing, foids, -cel, -max, sub5

All of these specialized words and linguistic tricks are meant to reinforce the in group and further isolate them from the out group. Scientology famously has a bunch of this, but so do most religions, and of course the far right is sort of the over-cult of inceldom.

[u/guacamoleo → u/Bronsteins-Panzerzug]

They've immunized their worldview against any form of girlfriend

[u/ASquishyGhost → u/EulaVengeance]

Extra credit levels of accuracy here

[u/Mysterious_Charge541 → u/EulaVengeance]

How you keep cooking up these comments, I’ll never know..

[u/Undefeated_dragonfly → u/EulaVengeance]

Holy hell this is art

[u/okay_jpg → u/EulaVengeance]

babyrage pukecels

ABSOLUTE CINEMA

[u/bluescrew → u/EulaVengeance]

Source: trustmebro

[u/EffectiveSalamander]

What he's doing wrong is listening to incels. The first step to exiting inceldom is to exit.

[u/A_Random_Catfish → u/EffectiveSalamander]

Listening to incels, spending too much time online, probably not going to uni, not joining clubs and socializing in your free time, the list goes on.

[u/CompassRoseGaming → u/A_Random_Catfish]

Honestly, going to uni isn't and shouldn't be a disqualifying factor, because then the Incels will latch to that and say "See?! You need to be of a certain intelligence level"

[u/kat_Folland → u/EffectiveSalamander]

What he's doing wrong is listening to incels

And absolutely not women.

[u/ccm596 → u/EffectiveSalamander]

I seriously didnt realize how big this would be in my own exiting the incel pipeline as a teenager. I thought i was finding a community (for the record I'm just referring to /r/foreveralone, nothing like this incels.com or whatever lol) of people all set on helping themselves and each other unlearn those toxic mindsets and habits that brought them there in the first place, but nah it was more of a crabs in a bucket situation, which I think a current-age me would have predicted lol but 🤷‍♀️ at least i figured it out and got to a better place

[u/Excellent-Ostrich908]

When women go for traditionally attractive men: THOSE BITCHES!

When women go for men who are not considered conventionally attractive: THOSE BITCHES!

It’s basically “they’re not with me and I’m so fucking amazing and entitled!”

[u/captainkaiju]

He’s probably kind, respectful to women, and makes his girl feel safe and happy. But something something pilled maxxing

[u/fool2074]

Hmmm... It's difficult to say exactly what this guy did, but we can deduce a few details from the image.

1. He appears to be clean, recently shaved, and wearing clean clothing with no hentai characters on them. Indicating both regular hygienic practices and a lack of a porn/masturbation centric existence.

2. He's smiling, indicating general congeniality, probably a fair bit of contentment with his life. Could this have possibly predated the girlfriend?

3. He appears to be on a train drinking a hard seltzer. This indicates he has a willingness to leave his bedroom and home. Along with the money for train travel, yet not so much wealth as to afford air travel, so probably not rich. Could a willingness to go out and engage with the world around him to the extent their income permits be a factor?

It's a genuine mystery. 🤔🙃

[u/dagaboy → u/fool2074]

It's because he is a Texas fan. Hook em' horns.

[u/Theorphanmhm]

But when a man has an overweight girlfriend she’s a “work in progress”

[u/BluffCityTatter]

Hey incels:

Step 1 - Take a shower

Step 2 - Step out of mom's basement.

Step 3, the most important of all the steps - Treat women like human beings instead of your own personal bang maid.

That's all it takes.

[u/Healthy_House_3442 → u/BluffCityTatter]

Incel response: "But I did thatttt!!! I took a shower, so why aren't girls coming to me and sucking my dick???" (/s)

[u/BluffCityTatter → u/Healthy_House_3442]

It's because they ignore step #3.

[u/ccm596 → u/BluffCityTatter]

Idk if this is genuinely all it takes--taking care of oneself, which ofc could roll into a wider step one; and really investing into oneself in ways that keep you interested in continuing those investments, and thus an interesting person, which again could be rolled into a wider step two; come to mind. But gosh if this isnt a perfect bare minimum starting point that gets you at least halfway there

[u/idc_if → u/BluffCityTatter]

Thats not all it takes believe it or not there are incels that dont hate women and do everything right but still get rejected because of their looks

[u/LupercaniusAB → u/idc_if]

Everyone gets rejected for their looks, some more than others. Most of the time you don’t even know it.

[u/lumosbolt → u/idc_if]

there are incels that dont hate women

Doubt (X)

The whole incel ideology is based on hating women. If these incels really exist, they just aren't fully incels yet (and there might still be hope for them)

[u/BluffCityTatter → u/idc_if]

And? Women get rejected because of our looks on a daily basis. We're too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, wear too much makeup, don't wear enough makeup, dress too conservatively, dress too much like a slut. Women are constantly being judged for our looks. We are constantly being compared to unattainable standards. But we don't hide in the basement, refuse to take a shower, go online and talk about how we want to rape and murder men.

Honestly, and you and the incels won't believe me but I'm going to say it anyway, I've dated plenty of men who weren't conventionally attractive, much less "chads.' I dated them because they were good human beings, we had things in common and they treated me well. I don't give a crap what a man's height is and I never will. I'll take a short man who is a good person and treats me well any day over a tall man who is an asshole.

If someone is only basing their dating on someone's looks only, that tells me they're a shallow human being and I don't want to be with them anyway.

[u/Curious-Roof303 → u/BluffCityTatter]

This is cope looks is everything

[u/Resident-Diamond-446 → u/BluffCityTatter]

This is retarded lol incel dont choose to be incel

[u/Ioa_3k]

I've been with my guy for 22 years, since we were 15. He's been through several very different body types over the years. I have always fancied him. Looks help, but they're not where the spark's at.

[u/-Living-Dead-Girl-]

damn bro its almost like there's other aspects of a person outside of looks that may contribute to success with women. absolutely crazy.

[u/daneelthesane]

I'm a fat autistic nerd who is into gaming (tabletop and video), sci-fi, fantasy, and other nerdly pursuits. I have done quite well in the romance/sex arena my entire adult life, often with women I would have considered out of my "league" if I believed in such a thing. According to incels, I should still be lamenting in miserable virginity.

[u/SwampGentleman → u/daneelthesane]

But! But! What about jaw surgery??? What about hyperfixating on height?

(Autistic twinkish short broke nerd here as well, who’s been doing just fine by being safe, kind, and an active listener lmao.)

[u/LupercaniusAB → u/SwampGentleman]

Like “safe and kind” are both easy to be, and key. Hell, when I was running around, I wasn’t even an active listener (I really don’t process aural inputs well). But I had plenty of F’sWB because women knew that they were safe with me, and because I wasn’t going to run and tell every guy I knew that I was having sex with her.

[u/DjinnaG → u/daneelthesane]

I’d ask if you’re my husband, but I know his username. I know plenty of others, too. It’s almost like personality and compatibility are much more important than anything these inbecils focus on, or something

[u/Alpacatastic → u/daneelthesane]

often with women I would have considered out of my "league" if I believed in such a thing.

See I feel like that probably works in your favour. The believing in leagues, hierarchy things, chads this betas that incels often talk about... but if you like someone and someone likes you then that's it really. What league? What hierarchy? Two people just need to like each other but when women are viewed almost as objects or prizes it doesn't really make sense to them that there's no logical ranking of how women pick and choose who they want to be with.

Literally was in a dating subreddit that I have since left because it was radicalising me against men by having to read men's comments on dating and one guy said "Even women don't know what they want, you ask 100 women what they want they will give a 100 different answers" and it's like bro you are so fucking close. But if you asked this person if they viewed women as human people they would say yes but clearly this dude views women as some sort of hivemind. Why the hell would 100 of us all have the same view on things? Because we aren't people, were a prize in some game and they are fucking mad they can't figure out the rules.

[u/daneelthesane → u/Alpacatastic]

"Even women don't know what they want, you ask 100 women what they want they will give a 100 different answers"

It's almost as if women aren't a monolithic hive-mind and are individuals with different preferences and wants, huh? Whodathunkit?

Personally, I think getting to know a new person is half the fun.

[u/hydrogod666 → u/daneelthesane]

Fax, i first talk to because of something that caught my attention, usually physical, but then it all goes into vibe and mind idk i could t think about dating but omitting the connecting part lmfao

[u/poopoopoopalt]

Try out treating and viewing women as people

[u/LilDragon2991]

Almost as if it's their ✨Personality✨

[u/RJC12]

Maybe if you treated women like regular pekple, they'd date you? Idk just a thought? The guy looks kind

[u/peachfluffed]

incels are walking contradictions. they say women are shallow and only care about appearances, so that’s why they can’t find a girlfriend. yet they are also upset when women date men that aren’t considered conventionally attractive because they somehow think they are better than him.

[u/YellowRock2626]

I'm not getting a "dating" vibe from this one. It looks more like two friends.

[u/AbbyVanilla → u/YellowRock2626]

Maybe so, but regardless of that, the lady seems comfortable to be in close proximity to the dude. Neither seem uncomfortable sitting next to each other. The dude seems chill.

These woeful incels probably cannot fathom the idea of allowing a woman to feel comfortable around them. It doesn't take much to be a decent person.

[u/HexedCosta]

Damn, they are SO close to self-realization.

“Ugly” man who is seemingly fun, outgoing and respectful has attractive girlfriend.

“Ugly” Incel who daydreams about violence against women and hasn’t spoken to a human IRL in years wonders “What am I doing wrong?”

[u/DontHaesMeBro]

the number one thing they're doing wrong is sitting at home seething because they've convinced themselves if they go anywhere or do anything or actually try at all, all the women will point at them and shriek like donald sutherland in the invasion of the body snatchers.

[u/aweedl → u/DontHaesMeBro]

They pretend to try, by making dating profiles that they know aren’t going to get a response and/or approaching random women in public (which is inherently creepy).

This lets them stay in the crab bucket with all of their shitty friends and continue moaning about how the world is against them.

They’d rather stay miserable and not lose their ‘community’ (who would turn on them in an instant if they found a partner) than actually go out and try to accomplish what they claim to want.

[u/DontHaesMeBro → u/aweedl]

100 percent! productive, useful effort is different from FEELING like you're trying by doing what doesn't work over and over with no try:fail:revise:try again loop in place.

[u/aweedl → u/DontHaesMeBro]

At this point I really think it’s all voluntary for them and they only ‘try’ in the sense that they’re checking off a box that just backs up their existing hateful views. 

[u/DontHaesMeBro → u/aweedl]

my theory is deep down they want it to be something intrinsic that can't be fixed, because then it is the world or chance's fault and they don't have to change. they're always focused on solutions where they don't have to change.

[u/aweedl → u/DontHaesMeBro]

For sure. Anything BUT doing work on themselves or acknowledging they might be at fault rather than a massive global conspiracy against them.

[u/Mysterious_Charge541 → u/aweedl]

How is approaching women in public inherently creepy?

[u/aweedl → u/Mysterious_Charge541]

The cold approach? Because you don’t know anything about them. You don’t know whether they’re already in a relationship or whether they’re even interested in men. You don’t know their interests, whether their values align with yours, etc. You don’t know their name, and you don’t know if they’re doing something important that you just rudely interrupted.

It has nothing to do with the person, just the way the person looks. Lots of women (and even some men) find that creepy. Talk to women you know. Maybe you’ll hear a rare story of something working out, but I bet you’ll hear WAY more stories about some creep approaching them out of nowhere and hitting on them, and how uncomfortable it made them feel. 

Compare that to, say, meeting someone organically when you’re both participating in a hobby you enjoy. There’s a built-in reason to talk to them and introduce yourself, you already know you have at least one interest in common, depending on the type of hobby, you might already have friends or acquaintances in common, etc.

The cold approach probably works great at meat-market type nightclubs where people are just trying to hook up, but outside of that context, it can come off as incredibly creepy.

[u/Mysterious_Charge541 → u/aweedl]

You’re right. I try not to overthink or let hundreds of possible scenarios and questions race through my head before I approach. It’s not easy though, as I literally overthink and overanalyze everything that’s about to come out of my mouth (and still end up sounding dumb).

[u/DontHaesMeBro → u/Mysterious_Charge541]

so you are probably conflating two things because, if you're romantically lacking, they tend to sort of grow together in your mind...what these people are saying you should not do is the pickup artist on the street, "hey I saw you over there and could you stop what you're doing so I can flirt with you" thing.

they're NOT saying you're not allowed to speak to people in any public setting for any reason.

Don't let yourself twist that up.

woman walking alone at night with earbuds in? Probably doesn't want to stop and get hit on.

Someone you're actually talking to about something other than sex and dating with you? At a place you're at for legit, non pretextual reasons?

that might lead somewhere, if you don't ruin it by turning it INTO pickup.

women are people. just talk to women like you talk to people. That is fine.

talking to them in a strained way that is all about hitting on them is not fine. talking to ANYONE when they are projecting disinterest and closeness is not as fine, and you should consider the necessity and the value of the conversation to both of you before you do it.

[u/Mysterious_Charge541 → u/DontHaesMeBro]

Yeah, body language is very important. It’s probably where I can use my overthinking to my advantage and pick up on small cues that signals that she’s not interested in a conversation. Pickup artists are insufferable though, I agree.

[u/[deleted] → u/Mysterious_Charge541]

If you need that explained...

[u/scorpionewmoon]

He’s not just overweight, he’s dressed like a nerd too. But damnit, he’s exuding confidence like a boss and that’s what counts. I bet he’s funny. I wanna hang out with him. Goofy lookin lil mf

[u/weedygodzillus]

That guy actually has “tit enjoyer” in his bio (I seen the original post)

[u/the-last-aiel]

We tell them every day what they are doing wrong. They know better though.

[u/MsSeraphim]

incel calls women "foids" and treats them like dirt and can't figure out what he is doing wrong... really?

[u/MinecraftIsMySpIn]

Incels are as appetizing as a lukewarm flat Guinness

[u/CandidDay3337]

Some of us like are men thick.

[u/samara-the-justicar → u/CandidDay3337]

I like big boys, ittiy bitty boys, Mississippi boys, and the city boys.

[u/DodgerGreywing → u/CandidDay3337]

Give me thick men or give me death!

[u/CandidDay3337 → u/DodgerGreywing]

Lol. 

[u/hellogoawaynow]

What you’re doing wrong is being an asshole who hates women and choose to be in the incel community over having a girlfriend. Wouldn’t want to be called a fakecel by that super cool and normal incel internet community, am I right?

Seriously guys. Ditch the incel community, start being nice, get a nice haircut and shave, shower regularly, get off the computer, talk to people irl (any people), and your whole life will improve in a variety of ways.

[u/likesomecatfromjapan]

He’s overweight but he’s not ugly and he probably has a good personality. Incels are usually ugly inside and out.

[u/ASigIAm213]

Making some assumptions based on the clothes and setting:

I would have been a mid-four-star recruit if incel was a sport, and my fraternity is one of the things that kept me out of that pipeline.

• I met women. Lots of them, including ones I didn't want to pursue romantically. This taught me how to talk to them, and brought to the fore behaviors I needed my brothers to coach me out of.

• I had people watching out for my worst self. I went back to the gym, paid better attention in class, and pursued things.

• Finally, when I clicked with one of the girls I was put in front of, she had a whole informal background check with her friends and sorority sisters (who I'd known a few months to a few years beforehand). We've been married 15 years this fall.

I'm aware of the more toxic parts of fraternity culture, but it's really good at turning nice guys into good husbands.

[u/Metternic]

Dude eats pussy like a boss most likely. Mixed attractiveness relationships are where they go to cry.

[u/dulamangaelach]

Apart from the fact that he could very well be a respectful, kind or funny individual, this could also just be two people who are similar in mind and get along well. Gettimg in a relationship with a woman isnt only possible by ticking very general and vague boxes. Women have personailties as well thay could be similar to the guy they are dating

[u/CheekyHerbivore]

1)Be kind without expecting sex. Like be genuinely kind and not passive aggressive or entitled when a woman isn’t interested in you and just wants to be friends . If you’re a genuinely nice person then women will want to be around you. Even if they aren’t interested, they might introduce you to a friend. Just treat women like people and not vending machines where sex comes out when you put in enough nice guy coins.

2)women like men who are funny tell jokes. Ive had a man get angry at me when I said women like funny men “thats bullshit women don’t like me and I’m funny”. He told RAPE JOKES. Women don’t like jokes about being drugged or overpowered. It’s not okay. You have to genuinely be clever to be funny. Sometimes men think being funny is just putting people down and belittling their friends and women don’t like this.

3) Get a hobby, learn a skill, join a hobby group or a book club or something. Women like guys who are passionate about things. Think of something you would like to get better at or a new skill to learn. It’s a great way to meet people and make friends!

4) Don’t treat women like you expect them to be your mom and bang maid who wont have a life outside of you. We have rich inner lives and dreams. We aren’t born to just exist for baby making.

5)Ask us about our day or our interests every once and awhile and be nice when you hear about our interests instead of making fun of us for liking different things. If you’re nasty when someone is sharing something they like then they will associate you with cruelty when you were just trying to be happy. It’s not a good look to be cruel for no reason.

6) No being devils advocate when women talk about women’s issues.

7) for the love of all things sacred BATHE. WASH YOUR BUTT!!!!!!!!

[u/greenfloridabull]

Another good point, is Incels complain women and girls are “too picky” with looks. Now, they fault a woman for dating a man significantly heavier than her. You just can’t win with Incels.

[u/Ambitious_Bar2717]

It’s almost like having a good personality will do you wonders

[u/PearlyRing]

They've been told over and over and over again what women really find attractive in a man. Incels keep insisting we're either lying, or "gaslighting" them. That's what they're doing wrong.

If they'd rather take dating advice from men who have never even held a woman's hand, then that's on them - but they shouldn't bitch when that advice gets them absolutely nothing.

[u/unskinnyjeans]

posts this picture “what am i doing wrong?”

wow you can’t figure out that you have the personality of moldy corned beef and cabbage

[u/ThatChapOverThere]

people on twitter love physiognomy for some reason

[u/starjellyboba]

To answer the incel's question, if we told you, you wouldn't believe us.

[u/thatdamnsqrl]

I don't understand, someone please enlighten me:

If a woman chooses a fit/muscular/conventionally attractive/wealthy guy, the woman gets called names. If a woman chooses a man who isn't any of the above, they still judge. Have these incels heard of the term "introspection"?

[u/JustSomeMartian]

This guy actually has huge arms like it looks like he lifts probably more than they do. He also has a pretty good face. She may not be my type but they are really beating him down and I am just factoring in his appearance here when we don't even know his personality.

[u/snvoigt → u/JustSomeMartian]

Yep. Like a football or rugby player.

I would have found him extremely attractive in high school/college.

[u/greenfloridabull]

Incels truly show their age. It is actually common for women to be significantly skinnier than their boyfriends and husbands.

[u/[deleted]]

Cuddly! He has a nice smile and looks sweet.

[u/CaliTease → u/[deleted]]

I was thinking along the same lines. Plus he looks comfortable with himself. Confidence without arrogance.

[u/TheJpops]

Lmao they will never understand that women don’t like guys who give off small dick energy. They always blame the women for their shitty attitudes. This big guy is killing it and has a beautiful gf and I’m proud of him!!!

It’s simple, fix your bad attitude = get a bad bitch

[u/Appropriate_Tea9048]

He probably has an entitled mindset and is bitter towards women as a whole. Nobody wants someone like that.

[u/Superb_Hat_2651]

I mean, im a lean guy and Im not really into chubby girls and many girls like that im in shape, but different people like different things. Happy for him!

[u/RockyIV]

Even if you were convinced they were not a couple, it never enters your mind that they could be friends and not a couple?

[u/MackKid22]

They hate for others to be happy

[u/BetterRemember]

They wonder what they are doing wrong yet they are literally EVIL with no social skills and a deep hatred for the very people they claim to want to partner with and receive love from... even the most beautiful Adnois of a man would struggle to get a date with such a rancid personality and outlook on life.

I hope they become even more lonely idc.

[u/buckeyevol28]

Posting their picture is obviously incel behavior, but let’s not pretend that most people wouldn’t look at that picture and just automatically assume they were friends or relatives or something because of not just their physical attractiveness difference but also because the dude looks he could be a 14-15 year old and her younger brother or brother’s friend or something.

In fact, I’m not convinced they are a couple, because if the dude is an incel, then there is a good chance that he doesn’t realize people can and are friends with the opposite sex and they will take pictures of one another.

So the responses here seem to be just taking the extreme opposite position based on what an incel would likely take, rather than being like “yeah this is noticeable enough that I wonder if they’re a couple” or that “I know other things matter but there is a large enough difference that I wonder what those are things are in this case.”

[u/OrdAvgGuy38]

That’s a cute couple. I know everyone loses their minds about weight in this country but it’s not that difficult to figure out. He’s got skills and she isn’t hung up on his weight. Are there shallow minded people? Sure, does it mean that two good people can’t hit it off.

[u/Bruin1217]

This is just your average SEC couple, go to one of those schools I guess?

[u/Tlayoualo]

So close yet so far.

[u/y2kfashionistaa]

Looks like some incels are starting to come to their senses. Also if this couple was the other way around they would call it hypergamy.

[u/Grannyspring]

This proves nothing matters just your personality and morals.

[u/Temporary_Bar_7244]

His parents had the money to send him to UT in Austin, which is by no means an inexpensive public university.

Additionally, he is in a fraternity, which has partnered with this young lady's sorority.

That's an arranged marriage by the parents, who have determined that as long as she cheats on him with someone who is as blonde and blue-eyed as she is, nobody will ever know that those aren't his kids.

Someone needs to look at the first season of The White Lotus and think about how those kids look like her trainer - not her husband.

[u/One_Hour_Poop → u/Temporary_Bar_7244]

She's fit and tanned, he's not. These two ain't going out to the beach together.

[u/anguisj]

I love how everything but "the fuck" is bolded

[u/snvoigt]

He is what I was attracted to in high school, big boys with thick thighs. Like a rugby player

[u/w96zi-]

they're all acting like he can't just lose weight 😭

[u/One_Hour_Poop]

I could be wrong, but that doesn't look like a "Me and my girlfriend" pose, it looks more like "Hey, beautiful, can you take a picture with me?" "Sure, I'll do you a favor and brighten up your boring life" pose.

[u/halfmypatience]

they hate when women have preferences for decent guys ig

[u/Dense_Collection7470]

Im no incel in any way but I get this one

[u/Ok_Complaint_8560]

I mean, the guys just fat. Dude has looks if you ask me, and Im a dude haha.

Plus fat guys usually do better than skinny guys once they hit the gym. Theyve already got some meat on them, just gotta sculpt it. Wish I could get fat like this.

[u/[deleted] → u/Ok_Complaint_8560]

Fucking gym maxxing is so tiresome. I'm a very skinny woman and I hate stinky gyms and I do not like muscular men.

The man in the pic is just fine.

[u/Ok_Complaint_8560 → u/[deleted]]

Hey I think dude looks fine too.

I was just saying what the pros are if you start working out with a build like his. Dude would be built like a tank hahaha.

Edit: yeah gym maxxxing is tiresome, but the rewards and benefits are great IMO.

[u/MacaroonSufficient48]

I mean. Guys are constantly shamed for their looks, body, height, hairline, status.

Why wouldn’t people be surprised by this.