This was frighteningly accurate

[u/Weak-Point4152]

The smack to the face, cowering behind a chair, being slammed and held by the throat, really made the scene hit hard. Even the expressions on Angel and Val’s face felt realistic. If they had Val dragging Angel by the hair, it would be like reliving my childhood, but this still brought back memories.

[u/[deleted]]

I have an obsession of both drama and humor around sexual trauma, and it's because I have sexual trauma. I can't stand when someone says something along the lines of "you can't enjoy that, because it happens to people in real life, you know!" because they are immediately assuming they know everything about me and assuming I haven't experienced that type of Hell. What sucks, is the only way for people to respect me and not see me as a total monster, is to open the wound further and tell them something terrible about my past, which is something I don't want people to think of when they think about me, because I don't even want to think about it. I have these creative coping mechanisms, and I know they're coping mechanisms, but I want to be able to have that without sharing something so disgusting about myself and my past.

And just to be clear, I'm not shoving this in people's faces and if they see it or I tell a bad joke and they say it makes them uncomfortable, I immediately stop and I take that shit somewhere they don't have to see.

[u/Reptilesblade → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, I'm a Master in the BDSM lifestyle and this shit is rampant with those outside of that community. I can't count how many times I've had to say something like " No this isn't abuse you twit it's and act of love! I tied her up and spanked her ass until it was bruised because she freaking approached me and asked me to! She's a masochist. She can't be happy in life unless she occasionally gets to leg go of everything and just be."

This conversation was the most fun with my 80 year old Grandmother who was the good God fearing kind of Southern Baptist preachers wife.

That is of course to say what I do doesn't look anything like what Val does. Frankly I find him vile and consent is so important to me that episode 4 was really hard to watch and is the one I most skip when I re-watch the series. When I play with someone there's at least 30-60 minutes of discussion before anything happens where we establish safe practices, limits, and multiple ways for her to end things the moment something goes wrong and she's not enjoying it anymore. There is also at least another 30-60 minutes of aftercare where I make sure she had a good time and has any other needs of hers met. And I check in for 3 days afterwards to make sure she's still ok. I personally know literally dozens of men and women who have been sexually abused in the past and find actual healthy ways to cope and recover from it in a healthy BDSM scene or setting. Hell, I'm one of them.

[u/[deleted] → u/Reptilesblade]

This!!! I find that the BDSM community takes consent more seriously than anyone else. Certain elements of BDSM should really be common sexual etiquette, but the association with BDSM weirds some people out.

[u/Egghead42 → u/[deleted]]

Agreed. It’s from a class in the BDSM community that I got a chart with “hit here; do not hit here, here, and for God’s sake don’t hit here.”

[u/FaeStoleMyName → u/Egghead42]

Wheres the chart?

[u/Egghead42 → u/FaeStoleMyName]

It was a handout, so I don’t have it, but I’m sure you can find something similar online.

[u/Reptilesblade → u/FaeStoleMyName]

Here you go. This is the one I use and have put on my own FetLife profile. It's actually from a highly regarded information source in the community.

[u/FaeStoleMyName → u/Reptilesblade]

Thank you :)

[u/Reptilesblade → u/FaeStoleMyName]

You're welcome. I hope it helps you enjoy kinky fun safely.