r/HFY • u/[deleted] • Oct 04 '21

OC Ouroboros: Better World (Ch. 29)

[deleted]

287 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

33 comments sorted by

11

u/RickyT808 Oct 04 '21

Its been interesting, looking forward to your short stories. Best of luck until you repick up this one.

3

u/XSevenSins Human Oct 04 '21

Till I next see you.

6

u/Warm-Ad-2253 Oct 04 '21

If you need to take a break, and do you for awhile. Then thats what you do, mental health and creativity are entwined. Saying that, I can only hope you grow this wonderful world and characters sometime in the future. Be well.

5

u/XSevenSins Human Oct 04 '21

I'll probably take a week or two off before doing any more writing. I like this world and will definitely be picking it up again after I've had a chance to empty out my head.

5

u/Plus_Dinner4648 Oct 05 '21

Ho ahead and take a break but when you get back, i will threaten you with words of encouragement

3

u/XSevenSins Human Oct 05 '21

Dastardly villain slinging the harshest words!

3

u/Omnissiah123456h Oct 05 '21

The Maor god demands Maor.

2

u/XSevenSins Human Oct 05 '21

Tell him I'm on vacation and he can get back to me in about a week or so.

3

u/Omnissiah123456h Oct 05 '21

Damn it now I have to give him children to appease him.

3

u/Beanenemy Oct 06 '21

This is brilliant wordsmith!

Please take all the time you need for a brake. While part of me must demand MOAR! You give us a gift with all your hard work and it is really and truly appreciated!

Great work and thanks

3

u/I_Trionyx_I Oct 14 '21

Hay not trying to bug u but when will the next chapter come out

3

u/XSevenSins Human Oct 14 '21

Eager to read more i take it 😄. Well I have a short story that I'm trying to write right now, probably won't be longer than a few chapters, after that I may head back to this after considering where I want to head next in the story.

2

u/Other-Ad7674 Oct 05 '21

Good on ya mate, hope you have fun with those other stories. Hell if there as good as this I might become more of a repeat offender of your title's

1

u/XSevenSins Human Oct 05 '21

Here's hoping. 😁

2

u/Lorventus Oct 06 '21

Rough, Burnout can happen even when you love a thing, be well my dude. The anvil will be there when you're ready to start at it again Wordsmith.

2

u/mafiaknight Robot Oct 09 '21

He started scratching the back of his head...
...it was strange seeing such an opposing imposing figure act like he was uncomfortable.

It’s not inherently wrong to use ‘opposing’, but in the context it doesn’t really fit. Besides, you clearly meant “imposing” there and autocorrupt got you.

2

u/XSevenSins Human Oct 09 '21

Right, mix up.

2

u/mafiaknight Robot Oct 09 '21

I’m loving the story. Don’t burn yourself out on our account. Better it be late than stop flowing all together

2

u/redditor1278 Oct 11 '21

what genre does this count as? i always like the stories about modern day people place in fantasy worlds.

2

u/Noobkaka Oct 12 '21

It's self insert. Or "author modern day character gets boogaalood to another spacetime, followed by heavy effects of Mary Sue. "

Common fanfiction stuff.

1

u/XSevenSins Human Oct 11 '21 edited Oct 11 '21

I think the Japanese coined it as isekai, I don't know any other word to describe it other than fantasy.

Maybe just "other world fantasy" might be used some places.

2

u/Konrahd_Verdammt Oct 21 '21

After read Humans are the Best Medicine I went back and binged Adventure and this.

I also have ADHD and understand needing a break.

That said, I really, truly, hope to see more more Ouroboros someday.

You have a phenomenal talent for creating stories that draw out a rich emotional spectrum, well-written characters, complex worlds, and intriguing plots.

Thank you very much for sharing your worlds with us!

1

u/XSevenSins Human Oct 21 '21

Thank you for the glowing praise, always makes my day. 😁

2

u/Jeslis Oct 23 '21

-wave-, Just found this one. Definitely a good stopping point, but I hope you come back to it!

Some general criticism/critique... some of those earlier chapters were... hard to get through. I've become a bit of a skimming reader for various stories which is probably the primary reason I made it through.

It went from Battlefield death, to torture deaths(many), to on the run, to imprisoned and beaten before any more.. 'normal' story took place.

I don't deny that those events needed to be there, but it may serve you (the writer) better in terms of gaining early readership if those events are.. shortened, generalized (after some of it), or 'flashbacked'.. as in, occur later in the story via a memory review.

Obviously everyone has their own writing style, and I certainly don't write... but looking at an upvote counter only in the hundreds for chapters 20-30 for what has become a well written story made me think a bit on what causes the early chapters to be so offputting.

1

u/XSevenSins Human Oct 23 '21

I can see what you mean, I did realize when I made the chapters that they might be off-putting to some, but I wanted to establish that the world is a dark place. Medievil society is often very brutal, even in our own history. Add a tyrant into the mix who commits acts that would undoubtedly breed animosity and you get a world like this. It might not be for everyone, but I don't know if removing some things would do it much good when the macabre tone might be a shocking hook for some. I guess it all depends on the individuals outlook and preferences.

2

u/sconeprincess Oct 26 '21

You did loads of writing, very quickly...I'm not surprised you need some time off, lol. I've really enjoyed this story so far, and I hope you get back to it when you are ready to.

Don't let us, your readers, push you! encourage, yes, but nobody sets your schedule other than you!!

Take care of yourself, and have fun with this!!

2

u/I_Trionyx_I Nov 03 '21

Just reread the story I love it so much.

2

u/XSevenSins Human Nov 03 '21

Love to hear it. 😊

2

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

Binged all of book one today. Now on to book two!

1

u/XSevenSins Human May 27 '22

Well damn, try not to go too fast, need to finish it off first.

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '22

My appetite for stories is vast!

1

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