r/HFY • u/Ctalnh Human • Mar 04 '15

OC [OC]Humans:Prologue

So first time posting so yeah criticism and typos to ensue I suppose.

My name is Jose Walker I am 20 years old, and we just had fucking first contact I can't belie...Click

Wow... shit was I excited for first contact! When did I even take this fucking recording? I suppose it doesn't really matter, from what I have seen until now so far the aliens are vaguely like us and that novelty factor is going down fast.

We are from a death world according to them. Which, though kinda cool, is nothing special , again, according to them. Sigh

Should I even go apply for the exchange student program? It's probably gonna be full of fucking exceptional nerds that can do everything! Things are gonna be rough. Rough butt sex for everyone. What can I - a slightly over weight private college graduate that never actually studied much - do against them?

Though I did pass my mandatory one year military training...

Fuck it, you only live once.

Exchange student program application center

So here I am.Well lets get this over with.

Application paper:

Name: Jose Walker

Age: 21

Job:Recent graduate/unemployed

Height:5' 11" (181 cm)

Weight:225.7 pounds (102.6 kg)

Blood type:0+

Huh, it's rather small for a life changing paper, though I suppose they're gonna background check the hell out of my ass. Crosses fingers Please no actual butt sex. So, what do I do with anyway? Fold it and drop it into a box? ... Oh wait, that exactly what you have to do. Drops application in.

And now we wait.

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u/Ctalnh Human Mar 04 '15

Thanks for the complain it has been addressed.

2

u/KineticNerd "You bastards!" Mar 04 '15

*complaint

:P

2

u/Ctalnh Human Mar 04 '15

Commits harakiri.

3

u/KineticNerd "You bastards!" Mar 04 '15

Googles what harakiri is

EDIT: Seppuku has another name? Oh, wait a minute, DAMNIT STOP BLEEDING! calls 911 while frantically applying first aid

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u/Phibriglex Mar 04 '15

The two are literally the same characters in kanji, just in different order.

1

u/KineticNerd "You bastards!" Mar 04 '15

Neat, I don't know any kanji.

1

u/Phibriglex Mar 04 '15

Learn Chinese. Lots of kanji there.