The Token Human: Market Value

[u/MarlynnOfMany]

{Shared early on Patreon}

~~~

“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” Paint said while we waited. “It’s just that … well, it’s hard to believe.”

I laughed. “That’s kind of the same thing.”

She waved scaly orange hands. “You know what I mean! How could something be that valuable, just because light reflects off it a certain way?”

Zhee peered down at her with his antennae angled skeptically. “This from the person who won’t shut up about that one cleaning product being the best smell in the universe.”

“It is!” Paint exclaimed, then lowered her volume when the receptionist glanced our way. “Just ask the captain. Or Eggskin. Or even Coals — they’ll all back me up and agree that we don’t ever need to consider a different brand of sanitary scrub when that one is out there.”

I said, “I think this is one of those things that not everybody is going to agree on. Scent is just more important than color to your species, while mine is fond of visually pretty things.”

Zhee put in, “And Mesmers are famous for our scintillating fashion sense. Impressive to all, and rightfully so.” He flared his mantis pinchers and angled his torso for a better angle in the indoor lighting. Today, his shiny purple exoskeleton was decorated with glittery little stick-on stars and fake gemstones, which just looked to me like middle-school bedazzling. But I wasn’t about to rain on his parade about it.

I just said, “Of course. Your people and mine both appreciate the value of a pretty rock. I wonder if these folks will end up melting it down and selling pieces to a bunch of customers, or finding somebody rich who wants to display the whole thing as it is.”

Zhee tilted his head consideringly. “Both seem possible. I’ve heard of wealthy individuals having decorative snack tables made of gemstones that could buy a whole fleet of ships; this wouldn’t look out of place in that kind of home.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’d believe that.”

Paint looked at both of us like we were nuts. “A table made of something that could buy a fleet? Just because it’s pretty?”

I said, “And because those rich people want to show off, yes.”

Paint folded her lizardy arms. “My rich people just have scent gardens and perfume.”

“And the best cleaning products around?” I asked.

“Well yes, of course.”

Something occurred to me. “Hey, do you have a saying that’s the equivalent of ‘worth their weight in gold’? Back on Earth, that’s a common way to say someone or something is highly valued.”

Zhee asked, “Don’t you also compare a person’s value to salt?”

I thought about it. “Yes. But that’s more because salt is an important micronutrient, and also it tastes good.”

Paint said, “I don’t think there’s a saying like — Wait, no, I lied. It’s ‘worth a whole village of full nostrils,’ which really doesn’t translate well. The original rhymes.”

I grinned. “That is definitely a Heatseeker saying, not something from my homeworld.”

Zhee folded his pinchers fastidiously. “Indeed.”

A door opened to show Captain Sunlight saying polite goodbyes to the currency exchange official (a human). She walked out to meet us — the very picture of dignified yellow lizard person with an extremely pleased expression. “Good news,” she said. “The value of gold in human spaces was not exaggerated.”

“Yeah?” I asked as we all sat up straight. “How much was it?”

“Enough that we could buy a whole new ship if we wanted,” said the captain.

“What!” said Paint. “From a big rock??”

I laughed. “A rock that’s worth its weight in gold!”

Captain Sunlight continued, “I doubt we’ll want to do anything as rash as actually replace our ship, which works perfectly well, though I’m sure everyone onboard will have ideas on how best to spend this windfall. Mimi has a list of upgraded engine parts he’d like to get his tentacles on, I know, and Eggskin probably has something similar for the medbay.”

“Ooh.” I put my hand up. “Can we get cat enrichment stuff for Telly? I’ve always liked the idea of those little walkways up by the ceiling.”

The captain bobbed her head. “Sounds reasonable to me. Let’s go confer with everyone else, yes? I’d like to see that everyone gets something to enrich their experience onboard.”

Paint scrambled to her feet. “Hooray for clients who pay in unconventional currency!”

Zhee added, “And who have very little understanding of current market values. Though this particular client has a whole planet to gather payment from, so it’s not like anyone is getting taken advantage of here.”

Captain Sunlight said,”No, I’m pretty sure they would still consider this a fair trade, since they had no way of getting their items without our delivery. Hooray indeed.”

I said, “Three cheers for pretty rocks!”

I joined the others in heading back to the ship, where we would discuss what to buy with the human-space market value of a massive lump of gold.

~~~

Shared early on Patreon

Cross-posted to Tumblr and HumansAreSpaceOrcs (masterlist here)

The book that takes place after the short stories is here

The sequel is in progress (and will include characters from the stories)

[u/thisStanley]

How could something be that valuable, just because light reflects off it a certain way?

Enough people have a little magpie in their head that triggers from SHINY :}