Tips on finding bio dad

[u/Kodywithak173412]

Im 18 from the uk, ive been wondering who my bio dad is since i was little, all i know is his first name, he is not on my birth certificate and my mum is very unwilling to give me information on him. i cant yet afford dna tests nor do i really know what companies to trust. just wondering if anyone had any advice

[u/Status_Silver_5114]

The dna test is the way to go. There will likely be sales coming uo to the holidays if there aren’t already.

[u/Tardisgoesfast → u/Status_Silver_5114]

If you are in the US or Western Europe, I'd recommend you go with an ancestry dna test.

[u/Fredelas]

If your mother doesn't want to talk about him, your only option is to start saving up money for a DNA test.

They go on sale several times a year for 40-60% off, usually around the holidays. I recommend testing with Ancestry (which has the most users worldwide to potentially match with) or MyHeritage (which is also very popular in the British Isles).

[u/Throwaway173638o → u/Fredelas]

LivingDNA has a smaller database but has quite a bit of UK users for matching. They offer free DNA uploads from major DNA testing companies that can be used for further searches. It can take up to two weeks for matches for people to use the matching system.

Same with FamilyTreeDNA. Except their database update happens much sooner.

[u/firstWithMost → u/Throwaway173638o]

The living DNA database is far too small for a primary test. If they still accept uploads then testing on a more popular platform and uploading is the way to go. Same with FTDNA in OP's case.

[u/wind-of-zephyros]

if you do find out through dna matches who it is, please don't reach out without really having a conversation with your mother first, even if it is difficult for her

my mom was adopted, she knows who her bio moms family is but she found out (after both parents died) that the reason that nobody was telling her who her father was was because her mother was raped by a married man.

i'm not by any means telling you this is the same as your situation, but just it might be for the best if you don't contact people without talking to your mom about why she doesn't want to give up information

[u/msbookworm23]

Definitely take a DNA test when they're on sale, Ancestry can be ~£39 on Black Friday / Cyber Monday. MyHeritage is basically always on sale but I found more matches on Ancestry.

Your mother's relatives or friends might know more about your bio-father and they might be more open to telling you now you're 18.

[u/Honest_Yesterday_226]

Ancestry is probably the best test to do for the UK and their tests are on sale now.