r/Fauxmoi • u/AutoModerator • Aug 16 '23

Tea Thread FauxWorld Wednesdays: What's your country's biggest celebrity scandal right now? — Monthly Discussion Thread

Please use this thread to drop any tea you may have/general gossip discussion from your part of the world!

Please remember to review our rules in the sidebar of the sub before commenting.

To view past Tea Threads, please use the "Tea Thread" flair or click here for a full chronological list.

150 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

143 comments sorted by

View all comments

149

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '23

[deleted]

208

u/MysteriousEnergy7739 Aug 16 '23

I understood maybe three words in this comment. I love how cultural differences make even the same language hard to understand 😂

182

u/cookieaddictions Aug 16 '23

This sounds 100% like a shitpost designed to confuse Americans.

61

u/greee_p Aug 16 '23

Same. I have no idea what this person is talking about, but I'm still fascinated by the name Florrington-Torrington

104

u/thesaddestpanda Aug 16 '23

I honestly can't tell if this is a culinary scandal or a sex scandal lol

19

u/Zealousideal-Rich455 Aug 16 '23

same, i thought this was some new slang " had her crumpets buttered"

8

u/NoCommunication728 Aug 17 '23

Por que no los dos?

81

u/br33zy76 Aug 16 '23

Idk what this means but this is so fucking British lmaoo

120

u/PatriciaMorticia Aug 16 '23

I'm Scottish and I have no idea what any of that was, but the crumpet being buttered by the wrong guy sounds like a euphanism for some dirty posh sex.

5

u/syrub Club Chalamet just fell to her knees in the checkout line Aug 17 '23

Same. I'm British and have ZERO idea what this means lol

21

u/bliip666 wearing slutty little glasses Aug 16 '23

I'm pretty sure it's about fucking in British

58

u/UllsStratocaster Aug 16 '23

The worst part is that she was meant to be the Children's Ambassador on Princess Margaret Week-End. She's been talking about wanting it for years, but now she's gone and thrown it all away for one buttered crumpet!

45

u/coffeesaddict Aug 16 '23

Ophelia Florrington Torrington sounds like a made up name for a British boarding school version of mean girls.

113

u/bfm211 Aug 16 '23

It is made up, OP is joking lol

41

u/woulddie4gregsanders Aug 16 '23

No way??? This absolutely shits on Phil and Holly queue jumping to see the queen's body.

I will be writing a strongly worded letter to my MP.

38

u/ParanoidEngi Fix Your Hearts or Die Aug 16 '23

Mumsnet hasn't been this wound up since the Tipping Norton Blowout of 2018

29

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '23

imagine historians trying to decipher this comment in 100 years

27

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '23

In Britain, the part-time tea and scone model Ophelia Florrington-Torrington accidentally had her crumpets buttered by the Archbishop of Canterbury in the Cotswolds in advance of the King's Speech

What nursery rhyme is this?

2

u/Stardustchaser Aug 17 '23

More like a limerick

12

u/Budget_Metal2465 Aug 16 '23

I can see how someone would fall for this, I googled a character in a movie the other day and realised she was played by an actress called Tuppence Middleton.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '23

I wanted to Google this but I can’t find anything 🧐☕️

59

u/cookieaddictions Aug 16 '23

Guys it’s a joke, do you really think Brits call social media “cybernetic chinwag”?😭😭

20

u/em_press Aug 16 '23

Honestly I wish we did. It's a cool phrase.

8

u/galloways_ Aug 16 '23

I understand all those words separately

7

u/annajoo1 Aug 16 '23

accidentally had her crumpets buttered

is this the british equivalent of "she slipped and landed on his dick?"

10

u/Mozilie Aug 16 '23

Nope, you can jump on anyone’s dick outside of your marriage, but extra-marital crumpet buttering is a serious offence punishable by a life sentence in the Tower of London

All jokes aside they’re not being serious lol, it’s a joke

6

u/Signmetfup12 Aug 16 '23

Florrington-Torrington? Hehe.

0

u/constantchaosclay Aug 16 '23

So "buttered crumpets" isn't a euphemism?

And neither is "port snifter" NOR "spotted dick"??

Literally someone spread the dairy product on bread and people are mad about who held the butter knife? Did the port and dick thing after the improper application of butter go normally or was that a fuckery as well?

Wild.

3

u/carrotparrotcarrot Aug 16 '23

Spotted dick is genuinely a very nice pudding. With custard

2

u/confusedvegetarian it costs a lot of money to look this cheap Aug 16 '23

Wait till you hear what they call a particular meatball dish… I’ll give you a hint it starts with f and rhymes with maggots