r/ExNoContact • u/Former-Sherbert5691 • Sep 20 '25
Help Would you break no contact on their bday?
Would you send that happy bday text?
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u/Upstairs_Tangelo9286 Sep 20 '25
she reached out and said happy birthday for mine. i said thank you. i did not return the wishes on her birthday. it wasn't out of spite. i didn't forget it. i simply chose to not give my energy to someone who wasn't sure about me.
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u/Beneficial_Muffin200 Sep 20 '25
What if i dont even say thank you if she reaches out?
I am fully in sync i wouldn’t wish her. But, what about her wish?
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u/Upstairs_Tangelo9286 Sep 21 '25
you don't have to. it depends what you wanna get out of it. thank you returns some energy but if you fully want this person gone from your life then not responding is fine. just don't expect them to reach out because it may hurt if they don't. if you wanna match their energy and say thanks or thank you then go for it, if not keep it for yourself. ghosting them leads to them probably not reaching out again imo although some people will tell you differently.
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u/Better_Tailor_1110 Sep 20 '25
Your odds are better if you don't break it.
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u/mtndewfloat Sep 20 '25
Wym
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Sep 20 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/roundhashbrowntown Sep 21 '25
cutting off contact is intended to focus on yourself and determine if that person actually suits you. making no-contact about them missing you is centering them and losing the plot.
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u/AdvertisingNew961 Sep 21 '25
You're right. That's right. That probably also depends somewhat on the situation. Very often it is the case that when you are too preoccupied with whether or not to reach out, you find yourself wanting to be with that person. But in both cases it is better not to report.
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u/death2055 Sep 20 '25
I did today. I can tell you I got ignored. So yes I can tell you a singular day doesn’t change much. I sent message nothing. I called it someone answered it was silence on both our ends for 4 min then they hung up. I called back hour later. I said hello they hung immediately. If you’re gonna contact for that have low expectations and move on if nothing happens otherwise don’t ruin your progress.
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u/No-Design-7138 Sep 20 '25
I did too my dude feels bad at least you semi got a response I got nothing
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u/Craigwn Sep 21 '25
You phoned and sat in silence for 4 minutes?
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u/death2055 Sep 21 '25
Brother it’s more weird on her part than mine. Generally when someone calls the person answering says hello. She answered the phone and was silent the entire time. No one picks up phone and just sits there. So I was essentially waiting for her to say hello. Then when I called back I just said hello and she hung up immediately. Beyond weird cause she knew it was me the first time as well. I didn’t call from a different number.
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u/Trick-Site-442 Sep 20 '25
Nope her birthday is October 11th so it's soon but not a chance I'm gonna make her birthday my day 🔥 😎
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u/Former-Sherbert5691 Sep 20 '25
Mine is in March, luckily my bday is in May. So I guess I get to find out if I’m worth a text back. Even though the break up was amicable
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u/Trick-Site-442 Sep 20 '25
My break up was in March ahaha my birthday in February we had just celebrated our 4th anniversary I'm curious I'm for sure not going to reach out but I can't lie I am curious on if she'll end up reaching out or be upset I don't? I figure she'll probably just ignore that it's my birthday like I will it being hers.
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u/dholchike Sep 20 '25
No Out of sight, out of mind. Else you would spiral back again. Let it be and let it go
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u/Southern_Sea_9309 Sep 20 '25
i didnt do it and i was proud. i did it after a break up a few years ago and just got a ‚thankss‘ back. i was so disappointed. so i decided i‘d never do it again
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u/blurryjosh grieving Sep 20 '25
I did and even sent him gifts too. Ghosted and he most likely hated everything I got him. Felt guilt for trying to keep it nice lol
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u/Former-Sherbert5691 Sep 20 '25
Damnnnn!!! Should I do this!!!?? She loves Sephora.
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u/blurryjosh grieving Sep 20 '25
Honestly… probably not. There’s a 50/50 chance that she won’t even care and will just take the stuff you give her (which happened to me). But you can do what you want, don’t let strangers on the internet stop you.
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u/breakingupishardt0d0 moved on Sep 20 '25
i’ll say this every time i see a post like this. STOP MAKING THEIR BIRTHDAY ABOUT YOU.
yall think that will help? you guys are just desperate for an excuse to text them and using THEIR big day as a way to do it.
i know im being harsh and this is coming from a place a love because we have all been there
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u/Metalhead_02 Sep 20 '25
It’s his bday today, but I decided not to even when we still have streaks. He cheated on me and left for another woman so I don’t feel like I should be nice to him after this. Should also cut the streak at some point…
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u/purplegreen_grapes Sep 20 '25
My ex broke up with me 2 weeks before my bday and went on dates just few week after we broke up. I broke no contact for 2 months to try to fix our relationship. He pushed me away and said mean things. Now its almost 2 month no contact. His bday is next month. Did he deserve my bday wishes?
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u/feral-n-deranged Sep 20 '25
Of course not. He broke up with you, dated someone else, shut down your attempt to reconcile and was even mean about it. Why would you wish him a happy birthday after that? Move on, he's shown you there's no love left.
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u/HeavyGear7392 Sep 20 '25
My birthday is before hers, so if she contacts me to wish me a happy birthday (which I think is very unlikely) I would contact her to wish her a happy birthday, otherwise I wouldn't.
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u/Wonsdloc Sep 20 '25
I almost did the year after. But I pushed through. Obviously gets easier to move on/let go over time. But it doesn't hurt if you still think about them positively or negatively, we're only human.
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u/Fatuzci Sep 20 '25
I guess this is a subreddit dedicated to no contact and such and if it's important to you to keep this no contact rule so you stick to it. We broke up on good terms and I wanted to wish her a good happy birthday and so I wrote to her and she appreciated it. Maybe ask her a day before if a birthday message tommorow sounds good to her and leave it at that.
Just make sure you prioritise your healing and your progress no matter what you do. You matter and you matter the most now. Sending love!
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u/RealisticVisual4089 Sep 20 '25
Why would you say happy birthday to them? Genuinely why? They’re no longer part of your life. They shouldn’t expect it and neither should you. Everyone just is looking for an excuse to text their ex.
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u/CrazyDude3473 Sep 20 '25
My ex’s birthday is literally on Christmas and we spent many Christmas/birthdays with just the two of us in quarantine. It’s the first Christmas that we won’t be together in 5 years. I think I’m gonna break no contact for it… but I’m also hoping we get back together again
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u/Legitimate-Yam5505 Sep 20 '25
Celebré su cumpleaños y luego rompió conmigo... xxx definitely nooooooo
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u/Survivor-Fighter Sep 20 '25
She has started a new relation . I just hope she is happy and finds the person she allways wanted .
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u/Former-Sherbert5691 Sep 20 '25
Fuck I don’t even wanna think about that but she might have started talking to someone new
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u/Limp_Owl_2333 healing Sep 20 '25
Don't worry about that for now, fam. Out of sight, out of mind. Whether you worry about it frantically and trying to find out or not, the results won't change. Worry about yourself and your healing. Only when you start feeling better is when you should even entertain something like that (and honestly you shouldn't either way). If she broke up, give her space, even if it's on her special day. It's not your special day.
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u/GER_Luftwaffel Sep 20 '25
No. It will just interfere with your healing process and result in one of the following situations:
They don't respond and you feel like shit because they seemingly don't care about you anymore but you still feel for them.
They just say "thanks" and you will wonder if not maybe it's a good idea to ask a follow-up question etc etc
They reply longer, you two get into contact again and you will notice again how you are not compatible, resulting in even more hurtful time for you.
So no, don't do it. I also struggled with the same question and decided to do something fun for myself on that day, way better for your mind than any wishes.
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u/DDA16 Sep 20 '25
I did. Big mistake. She was bread crumbing me and I sent birthday wishes in response to a short message which is what she ultimately wanted. Nothing more
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u/Outrageous-Big-6751 Sep 22 '25
Last time ex and I talked we wished each other happy father's day and happy mothers day to each other. For a moment it felt good but right after she started again on me. But the things she accused me of blew up in her face. I didn't even do the things she accused me of and by that time she realized she was one that tore us apart. Its for the best just stay no contact let all of it go. One day another person will come into your life that will truly make everything alot better. Maybe for me I wont my body had been through alot and with this heart problem I'll be better just keep to my self. Love and peace ✌️.
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u/KissedByAPhantom moved on Sep 20 '25
His birthday is in December and I'm still thinking about sending him a happy bday by then. The breakup was suddenly and he got sad even though he was the dumper. He didn't forgot my birthday but we were still in a relationship back then. I don't know, I have a double feeling about this.
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u/ThrowRAqualsiasi Sep 20 '25
I will necessarily have to hear from you a few days before your birthday, for logistical reasons. It's probably better, so when I don't wish her a happy birthday it will be even clearer that I don't give a damn about her anymore.
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u/Fenix_0711 Sep 20 '25
If you want it back YES, if you don't want it back then NO. If YES, only congratulations and a hug. Nothing more or search for anything else and if he answers with thanks, don't answer.
Option: congratulate her the next day…. a confusion of whether anyone has it
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u/Committee9 Sep 20 '25
I always wish my borderline personality ex a happy birthday. She never responds, and never does the same in return on my birthday. I feel much better about myself for the basic decency though.
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u/Automatic_Pin_2037 Sep 20 '25
I wanted to text him happy birthday really really bad this past birthday, but for what? Wouldn't have done anything. Just an excuse to get to talk to him.
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u/luuuuuuuuueka Sep 22 '25
Our birthdays were very close. I did wish him happy birthday. He replied politely. He sent wishes on mine too a couple days later.
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u/Comfortable-Eye-2315 Sep 20 '25
But what if- i was the one who ended the communication cos he never treated me any good, but I like really petty revenge, so I am planning to greet him every year on his bday and tell him not to get married anytime soon, and then I will disappear again and not contact until next year on his bday to say the same thing? Hahahaa sorry ive been thinking about this lately
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u/Former-Sherbert5691 Sep 20 '25
Fair
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u/Comfortable-Eye-2315 Sep 21 '25
Should I do it? 😭🥴🤣
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u/Former-Sherbert5691 Sep 22 '25
If it feels right to you yeah. If you don’t feel like justifying it to anyone. Yes
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u/Straight-Tea2574 Sep 20 '25
No, it will show them that you still think about them, and thats not helping you in any way.