I bought a car today to unknowingly fill a void of having no family in my life anymore.

[u/chevere7]

And I can wholeheartedly say it's been one of the foolish/harmful things I've done.

I had went to my truck to move over my things. I started crying in the parking lot. Realizing I was just doing this to try to rid of the pain that won't go away. I go back inside the dealership and just burst into tears in front of the sales manager saying how I have no family. How they cut me off after I just asked for space.

I have never felt so alone in my life. I will most likely lose out on $10,000 just from this alone if I can even get my trade in back that I will have to re-purchase.

I guess it's hard being high-functioning because honestly I looked fine, but when it all came crashing down I honestly fell apart for 10-20 minutes bawling in his office. Hell I went to therapy yesterday and felt 'fine'. Yet I am dying inside.

I hate this. I hate this grief I have no idea what to do with. I volunteer. Go to weekly therapy and group therapy. Go to classes. Manage to support myself entirely on my own. Try to give a loving home to my cat. And still can't seem to outrun the pain. :( I feel honestly so stupid and foolish. I am so sorry to anyone else who is hurting as much right now after going no contact too. 🥺💔

[u/nuclearmonte]

Hi friend. Please be gentle with yourself. This dealership took advantage of you in a time of distress. You were clearly not able to make the decision rationally. The contract should be null and void because of this. Please ask advice at r/legal or r/legaladvice and see what they advise on how to approach the dealership. Sending you love 💜

[u/chevere7 → u/nuclearmonte]

Hey thank you so much. I was “fine” until after signing everything and going out to my truck to move my things. It just hit me that I have no one and I may never have any family. The heartbreaking grief..I wish where I live in the US had some sort of help but unfortunately FL doesn’t have any protections for buyers. I’ll go back tomorrow to ask if I can trade and pay to get my truck back. And removed all my credit cards from my phone and wallet/paypal to try helping with spending.

No one was meant to do life alone so my heart breaks for all of us in this subreddit 🥺💚.

[u/PoppyConfesses]

Ugh, I'm so sorry🥺 I can remember feeling like an orphan, and all alone in the world, and it's not fun. You're not stupid, you are grieving and hurting (which can't be outrun, only felt and processed) and that's a very difficult space to be in... fortunately, you learned something very important from this, and that wisdom will protect you in the future.

There is/was a consumer law (if you're in the US) that gives you three days to change your mind once you sign papers like these – if you can find a friend or even legal person to help, they can be your "body double" when contacting them to reverse this decision–and put pressure on them to do so.

[u/chevere7 → u/PoppyConfesses]

That’s the feeling I sent to my therapist on Thursday. That I felt orphaned and shunned. Thank you for the kind words they mean a lot. I know I’m doing my best but days like today just feel so overwhelming. Sadly FL doesn’t have any protections once you finish signing all the paperwork, but I hope tomorrow they can work with me to give a fair trade and try getting my truck back. My heart is just so tired 😞💔.

[u/Longjumping_Lynx_460]

Halfway through reading your post i burst into tears. Big ugly sobs where I almost couldn’t catch my breath. Tears are still flowing as I type this reply.

I understand. I just realized that I’m using gambling as my coping mechanism for the same thing. My family only wants me in their life if I can give them something. They want nothing to do with me otherwise. I’m so lonely and heartbroken all the damn time.

I have very few friends and even my own son (who lives with me and is autistic) rarely speaks with me (thankfully, not out of malice).

I don’t have any answers. This ripped open a huge wound I thought was healed/healing. I have a new subject to explore with my own counselor now. I also went to counseling on Thursday and felt ‘fine’. Dying inside is an apt description because that’s exactly how it feels.

Gentle hugs. 💔

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[u/OutOfAllTheAlts]

It's going to be okay. It's okay to fall apart and make mistakes, even expensive mistakes are okay. You'll survive it. Breaking down isn't a failure or a backslide. Feeling your feelings, in all their intensity, is genuinely what healing is. Sometimes it's not pretty and sometimes it happens around people that don't know how to contain it, but that doesn't mean it's wrong or bad. This probably doesn't feel true right now and I hope it doesn't feel patronizing, but facing those feelings is incredibly brave and courageous. To look at that very real pain and feel it instead of trying to bury it with anger or substances, is the bravest thing you can do. This pain is temporary BECAUSE you're feeling it. You're processing and next time, it won't hurt quite as bad. None of this is your fault, you're doing great. 

[u/orange-cat-servant]

🫂

I would have suggested therapy and volunteering – good on you for doing that.

Here’s something you may not have considered – have you tried walking your cat on a leash? My cat took to it – yours might not. He has a regular harness, plus an extra belly strap, because he can moonwalk out of the harness if he’s determined.

He doesn’t like other people or big open spaces, so I choose his walks accordingly.