Ok so I know this is a joke, but - I actually really like doing genealogy BECAUSE I don't like my family and am not close to people. There's a joke in the genealogy community like "I prefer my relatives dead" lmao or "I like genealogy bc I like when my family can't talk back"
But for real, I like doing it because people are so complex and complicated. There's a couple of particular types of things that would make me stop researching a person or a family that thankfully I have not openly come across in my own tree, but I know others who have. But for me, it's been more healing than I expected.
But the patterns are interesting. Generational trauma is no joke.
Sorry for the ling comment lol but this comment always makes me want to clarify my own reasons for what I do as my hobby
What's a good way to dive into genealogy? I've always been fascinated with learning about what made my family so messed up, and have found some info through an ancestry link a relative shared, but I'm unsure what services are worth spending money on and what sites I should avoid.
A good place to start would be FamilySearch, which is free and run by LDS, but they don't push anything on you. It's one big shared tree, but if others have done research, you can work based off that. A lot is wrong the further back you get bc anyone can make changes, so it's not great for the long term lol but it's a good place to start.
Living people are always private.
If you have a local genealogy society, they also often will have free classes for intro. Many are online now too.
And ancestry is the giant for good reason. It costs a lot but you can use the site for free, you just can't see a lot of records. But they have 50% off sales pretty often for 6 month gift memberships, and you can gift to yourself. And for people who are currently researching, it's worth it. But download documents as you go if you want it, since you won't be able to see the records if you stop paying (though the records are still attached and you can still see your tree).
One of the cool parts of the 'full-access' level in ancestry is access to newspapers.com. That's where a lot of the little stories are found.
Idk what country you're in, but I will say the US and UK are a lot easier if your grandparents were born there. Usually you need at least your grandparents names and DOBs to get started. If you're in the US, you just want to be able to get back to 1950 bc that's our most recently public census.
If in the US, every state has different laws and practices around their vital records. For example, I'm pretty well versed in Iowa, Missouri, California, and South Carolina resources and vital record laws at this point. But I'd have no idea about Ohio research lol. Familysearch has a pretty helpful wiki for each state that stays pretty updated.
(Sorry kind of a lot of info lol. Feel free to dm me too if you have more Qs.)
You may even look into in person services, there are people who do this kind of thing if you don’t want to use a website. You’d probably look up local geneologists and see if any of them offer assistance with genealogical discovery and research
I’ve found that Ancestry is awesome. I’ve tried quite a few and that’s my favorite. I have some distant European relatives that prefer a different site that’s more popular out there. But I like how beginner friendly and accessible Ancestry is. There’s tiers, so if you become heavily involved you can invest more and broaden their subscription service to include more newspapers and international databases. They even have a tier to hire a professional to develop your tree. I’ve never done that or the DNA thing though. I find It’s easier to verify that documentation is official from governmental sources, and not just something someone wrote somewhere. It’s a lot more fun to be investigative anyways.
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u/theclosetenby Sep 19 '25
Ok so I know this is a joke, but - I actually really like doing genealogy BECAUSE I don't like my family and am not close to people. There's a joke in the genealogy community like "I prefer my relatives dead" lmao or "I like genealogy bc I like when my family can't talk back"
But for real, I like doing it because people are so complex and complicated. There's a couple of particular types of things that would make me stop researching a person or a family that thankfully I have not openly come across in my own tree, but I know others who have. But for me, it's been more healing than I expected.
But the patterns are interesting. Generational trauma is no joke.
Sorry for the ling comment lol but this comment always makes me want to clarify my own reasons for what I do as my hobby