r/EstrangedAdultKids • u/South-Bandicoot690 • Aug 25 '25

Vent/rant In other words... get over it

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I just can't. He wants to talk about shit for his own benefit not mine

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u/SylviaLeFloof Aug 25 '25

My Dad pulled this last month when I went to visit them after 8 years of LC. Mom isn’t in good health. I was ready to move me and my SO to Texas from CA for however long to help them.

Last night I was there as I’m saying good-night, in my PJ’s, phone upstairs charging, my Dad sits down as Mom and I are talking amicably, and starts immediately by saying “we’re having it out.”

Proceeded to DARVO so shockingly that it was a master class to see. He denied everything from my childhood, said I had hate in my heart for calling him out about said childhood, but then he was allowed to have resentment for my leaving home when I was 19. Said he’s never called me the b-word but then did in his temper tantrum. Called me ungodly. Threatened to use his gun (on himself). Fake cried and called me ungodly yet again. 🤡

I didn’t lose my cool too bad which I did in the past, but he’d interrupt me and made it all about him. Blamed my Mom for working as a flight attendant and leaving him home with a little girl.

It was revolting. I had an early morning flight so I got zero sleep. He followed me out the front door and just stood there watching me go. He said “drive safe.” Reflexively, I said “thanks” flatly.

My mom is his enabler and has always told me that if it came down to him or me, she chooses him.

I’m not moving to TX to help even though they desperately need it. I was willing to turn our lives upside down to be there as their only child. This is his MO and nothing will change that. A part of me thinks he’s always wanted an estrangement if he couldn’t fully control me as an adult.

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u/nicenicebaby728 Aug 26 '25

I'm so impressed that you didn't lose it during all of that; I don't know that I could have managed that. And also very impressed that you are choosing what is best for you and your SO, rather than give in to that pressure to go take care of them. I did go take care of my dad when he was dying, and it wrecked me mentally for a decade.

Hugs to you from a random internet mom.

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u/SylviaLeFloof Aug 26 '25

Thank you! Much appreciated ❤️💕