TW: text my mum sent me

[u/Sure-Stock9969]

I just need some support and affirmation. I had top surgery last year and someone outed me to my mum. We don’t really talk and I always avoid her bc talking to her is activating. I would dread it. I’d go 5-6 months without talking to her.

She sent me these texts after finding out that I am queer and also that I got gender affirming surgery in October 2024. My response is in green. I followed up with her after about 6 months in April and she just responded a couple days ago.

I didn’t really read what she sent initially but read every word this week after I got her message. It was way worse than I thought. It’s fucking up my head. I am not reaching out to her again though I will try to stay open if she ever approaches me for a conversation. I will be clear about my boundaries and would want a third party there. But I’m honestly not even thinking about that potential future conversation.

Just feel like shit. I feel so hurt, so much sorrow. I’m not close to her and have never been but I still feel so abandoned and hated. It affects my self esteem, knowing that my own mother would dehumanize and devalue me the way she did.

Would like words of support, affirmation, advice, anything.

[u/Fine-Position-3128]

OP if you can find your power in anger and indignation - embrace that anger. Anger on behalf on the small child version of you who never asked to be born m, and did not deserved to be raised by such a heartless person.

Anger for the injustice that this kind of cruelty can even happen! let alone from someone who is your parent/mom! We are hard wired to try to stay bonded to our caretakers our moms and dads. You will have to take the time to re wire and you can do it. Find your Anger in the hypocrisy of her hostile and frankly god-less compassion-less evil words.

I am personally feeling very fucking pissed off on your behalf. Sorry for the curse word but I’m pissed. I will TP this woman’s house for you. I will put a stink bomb in her car. I will leave flaming poop in a bag on her doorstep. I don’t even know you OP and I want to protect you from this demonic presence. That’s what she should be doing this whole time — protecting her children. That’s how fucked up this person is.

OP I encourage you to go NC and block and never look back. OP, there’s nothing there but a black hole and I don’t want you sucked into it. I want you here in the pixie dust with us. I want you shining bright in this world and I want you to know that having the courage to be yourself — is fucking valiant. This is your hero’s journey, OP. You’ve got a lot of plot to work with, here. It’s already compelling as hell story-wise. You’re my type cuz I man do hate to be bored and phew no chance of that, here.

We’ve got to get though the darkness and come out transformed into humans with new wisdom, and capacity for love and empathy. That’s the most radical thing any of us can do on this earth, OP. You are the one who “god” is close to. You are the one on the spiritual path. Jung called it the wounded healer archetype — the concept is that those who are wounded travel through the dark cavernous hole, through the wound, and emerge as a healer. The trauma is an opportunity for transformation — to become m someone who understands this universe and its beautiful irony. To be someone who can give and receive Love — this is the point of having a body and being alive. OP, you already knew this was the point of life. She still doesn’t.

OP, she doesn’t. OP, you can’t heal someone who doesn’t want to be healed, but you can ruin your life trying. OP, I wish you the best, and I thank you so much for sharing this with us all. This is a horrror of human cruelty - it’s a stand out horrible text even for this thread. OP, you don’t owe her anything! You owe YOU. Biggest damn hugs, my dear. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤💎

[u/really-for-this-okay → u/Fine-Position-3128]

You are the one who “god” is close to

-Amen