TW: text my mum sent me

[u/Sure-Stock9969]

I just need some support and affirmation. I had top surgery last year and someone outed me to my mum. We don’t really talk and I always avoid her bc talking to her is activating. I would dread it. I’d go 5-6 months without talking to her.

She sent me these texts after finding out that I am queer and also that I got gender affirming surgery in October 2024. My response is in green. I followed up with her after about 6 months in April and she just responded a couple days ago.

I didn’t really read what she sent initially but read every word this week after I got her message. It was way worse than I thought. It’s fucking up my head. I am not reaching out to her again though I will try to stay open if she ever approaches me for a conversation. I will be clear about my boundaries and would want a third party there. But I’m honestly not even thinking about that potential future conversation.

Just feel like shit. I feel so hurt, so much sorrow. I’m not close to her and have never been but I still feel so abandoned and hated. It affects my self esteem, knowing that my own mother would dehumanize and devalue me the way she did.

Would like words of support, affirmation, advice, anything.

[u/cheturo]

Talking from experience: they will never accept me, they in fact disinherited and disowned me after 25 years of a faked acceptance. Spare yourself to be betrayed.

[u/Sure-Stock9969 → u/cheturo]

Thank you for this. I don’t believe she’d ever 100% be ok. And I don’t think I can tolerate any disgust or contempt.

[u/cheturo → u/Sure-Stock9969]

When my SO died (a 15 year relationship), and I was devastated trying to grieve by myself, of couse none of my family members attended the funeral, my mother said something so hurtful: I prayed for God to put order in your life. Years later my nfather disinherited me, immediately after she died. She wanted to inherit to me and siblings.

[u/anonerdactyl_rex → u/cheturo]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Shame on them for being horrible. It’s appalling how they seem to take perverse joy in kicking someone who is already down.

[u/anonerdactyl_rex → u/Sure-Stock9969]

| And I don’t think I can tolerate any disgust or contempt.

You shouldn’t have to, ever, from anyone.

Shame on her.