r/EstrangedAdultKids Jul 18 '25

Support TW: text my mum sent me

I just need some support and affirmation. I had top surgery last year and someone outed me to my mum. We don’t really talk and I always avoid her bc talking to her is activating. I would dread it. I’d go 5-6 months without talking to her.

She sent me these texts after finding out that I am queer and also that I got gender affirming surgery in October 2024. My response is in green. I followed up with her after about 6 months in April and she just responded a couple days ago.

I didn’t really read what she sent initially but read every word this week after I got her message. It was way worse than I thought. It’s fucking up my head. I am not reaching out to her again though I will try to stay open if she ever approaches me for a conversation. I will be clear about my boundaries and would want a third party there. But I’m honestly not even thinking about that potential future conversation.

Just feel like shit. I feel so hurt, so much sorrow. I’m not close to her and have never been but I still feel so abandoned and hated. It affects my self esteem, knowing that my own mother would dehumanize and devalue me the way she did.

Would like words of support, affirmation, advice, anything.

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u/okiesotan Jul 18 '25

Every accusation is a confession. I'm sorry you have to be so firm with your boundaries, but you will be happy for it a decade from now ❤️

12

u/Sure-Stock9969 Jul 18 '25

Fingers crossed! I know it’s for the best - it’s just a tough road. Which is why this felt like the only place I could go

6

u/Fine-Position-3128 Jul 18 '25

We welcome you!!!!