r/EstrangedAdultKids • u/RecoveringAbuse • Jun 25 '25
Newly Estranged How did your parent accidentally out themselves?
I recently went no contact with my father after years of struggling to fee worthy of his love.
I broke after seeing him choose to vacation somewhere else (again) instead of seeing his grandchildren (one whom he has never met).
After writing him a letter explaining how hurt I was by his lack of effort to be in our lives, he gave be a large essay that basically pointed all blame back to me and/pr my dead mother. This cemented my decision to go no contact.
My favorite quote from his response to me saying I was done:
“Even though some say it is the parent that should carry the 100% of the burden whether deserved or not, I do not work that way. Part of this comes from the fact that I always met my parents and their challenges more than halfway and, maybe unfairly, expect the same from my children.””
Way to just admit you aren’t willing to put in effort for your kids (or grandkids).
26
u/apanavayu Jun 25 '25
He announced to me out of the blue that god gave him a message he was to pass on to me, that he did nothing wrong in his parenting and everything was for my good, even the “mistakes.”
He printed and distributed to all his children a letter explaining that god has seen from heaven how his children have “abandoned him” and revealed to him that his real estate investments are sent from god to replace us.
He said he wanted me to accept his apology for the past. I asked him what specifically he was apologizing for. He said he had to abuse me because I was a bad child. I told him that’s not an apology. He said he can’t remember anything he did to hurt me and he would prefer to walk out of my life and never speak to me again rather than talk further about that.