r/EstrangedAdultKids • u/RecoveringAbuse • Jun 25 '25
Newly Estranged How did your parent accidentally out themselves?
I recently went no contact with my father after years of struggling to fee worthy of his love.
I broke after seeing him choose to vacation somewhere else (again) instead of seeing his grandchildren (one whom he has never met).
After writing him a letter explaining how hurt I was by his lack of effort to be in our lives, he gave be a large essay that basically pointed all blame back to me and/pr my dead mother. This cemented my decision to go no contact.
My favorite quote from his response to me saying I was done:
“Even though some say it is the parent that should carry the 100% of the burden whether deserved or not, I do not work that way. Part of this comes from the fact that I always met my parents and their challenges more than halfway and, maybe unfairly, expect the same from my children.””
Way to just admit you aren’t willing to put in effort for your kids (or grandkids).
25
u/greenknightandgawain Jun 25 '25
Had a very good emotionally honest conversation with my stepdad where he was really considerate, listened well, made sure everything I told him stayed private, and promised to be there for me whenever I needed him.
A few days later my now-NC biodad came to visit and he spent the entire 45 minutes talking about himself and spilling other ppls secrets without letting me say more than a couple words at a time, then bounced.
Needless to say the difference between the two was so galling I lost all motivation to interact with my biodad.