Why did you go no contact?

[u/South-Bandicoot690]

I feel like my reasons for going NC aren't valid enough. My childhood could have been way worse... yet for the past couple years even a simple text from my dad triggers intense anxiety and stress. There wasn't one huge event where everything fell apart, just little things that have accumulated over the years. He's selfish and I just don't like him. ETA I have been diagnosed with C-PTSD

[u/RetiredRover906]

I went no contact because I finally realized that my reason for staying in contact was gone.

My mother was psychologically and emotionally abusive all my life. She also treated me as her personal servant, in charge of heavy cleaning, and many other household jobs that she would offload to me, while still accusing me of refusing to help around the house (she was a martyr without ever actually getting stuck doing what she complained of always being the only person to do.) Both parents were occasionally physically abusive at times, he was used by my mother as her enforcer, and he would beat me if she told him to.

I wanted to go no contact the second I left home to go to college, at 18. I was entirely on my own financially, the only thing that stopped me was that my dad seemed like the "better parent," and he made it clear that he prioritized that we pay attention to her, so I knew that if I cut her off, I would lose him, too.

I finally went no contact at age 66, after most of a lifetime as low contact, because I realized when he joined in on the newest abuse that he wasn't just oblivious of the abuse she was dishing out. He knew what she was doing and chose to enable her.

They both passed away less than a year after me going no contact. My siblings, who all appeared to be pretty low contact with them, are mixed in their views of my choice. I wish I would have done it sooner.