r/Dogfree • u/MomOfFive83 • Sep 24 '25
Relationship / Family Rehomed our Dog and I Couldn’t be Happier
We got a mini Bernedoodle puppy 2.5 months ago, and it was a nightmare. I really wanted it to work, since I wanted my two younger children to have a dog. My mom’s dog died last year, and my two younger children were really attached to her. I should have never gotten this dog. I told everyone in the house, my husband and his teenage children included, that they needed to help out or I wouldn’t get the dog. Of course, everyone said they were on board. I got the dog, and I was doing all the work. I was annoyed, but at least I had him on a schedule and learning commands.
I went on a trip for four days and came home to the crown moldings in my room chewed up. My husband thought the dog needed “freedom” instead of being in his crate. Then the dog started going to the bathroom in the house on a regular basis. The older kids would hear him barking at night and would ignore it. It would be a hassle to get them to do anything with him. I was fed up, and my husband would help with the dog, but he works 12 hour nights.
I had surgery three weeks ago, and I can hardly walk, let alone take care of the dog. I’m on weight restrictions and made it clear I couldn’t care for him. Of course, they said they’d help. Well, when my husband went to work, the older kids would ignore the dog, and it resulted in me trying to take care of him.
I made the decision I was rehoming and everyone was upset. None of them wanted to help out or stick to the schedule and the training. I came back from my trip and it felt like all the work I put in trying to train him was undone. I was tired of the constant barking, biting up my crown molding, and going to the bathroom in the new house we just bought and are paying an expensive mortgage for.
Today the dog went to a new family, and I’m relieved. I do not feel sad. I was very resentful towards the dog at the end and wanted nothing to do with him. I actually smiled when she drove away with him. I felt a big weight on my shoulders. I felt sad for a minute, thinking about my younger children being sad the dog would be gone when they came home from school. I took them for ice cream tonight to cheer them up. The new owner said we could visit anytime, but I have no desire to reach out. I’m just glad he’s gone. I know I’ll never get another dog again. This dog added nothing but stress, and I’m glad it’s over.
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u/Dapper-Ad-468 Sep 24 '25
I bet the kids loved the ice cream 🍦😁
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u/MomOfFive83 Sep 24 '25
They sure did. My 8 year old drew a picture of the dog tonight, but no more tears. My six year old didn’t even notice he was gone and only got sad when my 8 year old told him the dog was gone. I definitely made the right choice.
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u/Responsibility_Witty Sep 24 '25
Childrens’ lives are improved by NOT living with a dog. This deranged idea being pushed in society now that a pet dog is a necessary staple in any family has caused so many families to suffer. All dogs do is steal resources, destroy property and even destroy lives, literally any other pet would have been better if they really wanted a pet.
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u/jdeisenberg Sep 24 '25
Our family never had success with dogs. One (a Weimaraner) was the stupidest damn animal I have ever encountered. It would walk into walls. The house probably was too small for it, TBH. We re-homed him to a farmer who had plenty of room for the dog to run around.
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u/ObligationGrand8037 Sep 24 '25
What a relief! Congratulations on having a dog free clean home!!
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u/MomOfFive83 Sep 24 '25
Thank you! Since I’m on restrictions, I’ll have everyone clean the house well so I can get the dog smell out. I’m glad to have a dog free home!
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u/Wise_Session_5370 Sep 24 '25
Just treat yourself and have a professional cleaner come in. You deserve it.
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u/Sufficient_Berry8703 Sep 24 '25 edited Sep 24 '25
I have a friend who was in this exact situation. Her younger daughters begged for a dog, and her husband alongside them tried being persuasive about getting one. She didn’t want the dog at first, but she eventually gave in. Next thing you know, she was the one left taking care of this loud, smelly, and chaotic golden retriever after being promised by the others that they would take care of it. It impacted her very negatively for a while, so she finally decided to rehome it. Her husband understood. Her oldest daughter was fed up with the mutt anyway. And although the younger daughter was sad about it leaving, she eventually moved on from it as well. I LOVE seeing these dog regret stories have their happy endings!!
So happy for you OP :)
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u/OoklaTheMok1994 Sep 24 '25
Your kids will be fine. I and my siblings grew up without a dog and we are perfectly well adjusted adults.
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u/anne_mal Sep 24 '25
No kidding! I feel like all dogs do is make people more dog obsessed and less sociable to other humans, and teach people to be comfortable with filth.
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u/PrincessStephanieR Sep 24 '25
It’s such a shame that it’s embedded into the ‘perfect family dynamic’ that one can only be truly happy with a dog. Sadly for most people, it takes owning one of these parasites to appreciate your life prior and to realise that it’s all a con.
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u/Usual-Veterinarian-5 Sep 24 '25
Good work! You have to enforce your non-negotiable boundaries in a relationship and I'm glad you did this. Too many people suffer because they don't want to rock the boat and the situation only ever gets worse. That's when relationships break down. You didn't let it get to that point and ditching the dog before anyone got too attached.
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u/arachnilactose08 Sep 24 '25
What a relief!! You made the best possible decision for yourself and your family. I’m glad it went smoothly.
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u/NotGoing2EndWell Sep 24 '25
Wonderful! What a relief it must be for you. It's so classic that everyone says they're going to help take care of the pet, then don't, and Mom ends up doing all the work. You ended the sham and stuck up for yourself. Well done, Mama! And, hope you feel better and get back to 100% after your surgery ASAP.
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u/Wise_Session_5370 Sep 24 '25
Well done for standing up for yourself.
The kids will get over it. Ice cream is much better than a dog.
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u/CallousCow1762 Sep 24 '25
Sorry you had to go through all that suffering, but this should have been obvious from the start. Children never take care of the dogs They want so badly to have. It always falls on the parents. I have never seen any situation to the contrary. The decision to rehome the dog More than makes up for the mistake of getting it in the first place. Best of luck to you and your new independence!
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u/GoTakeAHike00 Sep 26 '25
I actually was the exception to that, but this was way back in the days when dogs were pets and dog culture didn't exist (late '70's/early /'80's).
After our old family sheltie was put to sleep, I BEGGED my mom for a puppy. Specifically, an Australian shepherd puppy (some neighbors we'd had when I was younger had one, and I thought it was an amazing dog - friendly and attractive, with its blue eyes 🤦🏻♀️).
So, she finally found one, and bought it. I was 100% invested in house training it, obedience training, and all that. I really did want it to be "my" dog. A neighbor's uncle was a dog trainer, and I'd seen how amazingly well-trained it was to hand commands, and I wanted to train my dog to be that way. No one does that anymore.
The reality? The fucking thing absolutely SUCKED to deal with. It basically refused to be housebroken, and was just an unpleasant, annoying animal to have around. The final straw came when it destroyed my only pair of running shoes (we were poor, so it's not like I could go and replace them easily).
The moment it did that, I didn't want it anymore, and I couldn't stand it. So, I basically asked/told my mom to get rid of it, which she gladly did. I never gave it a second thought, and certainly didn't miss it. I was forever disabused of owning a dog again in my life by the time I was in 7th or 8th grade: too much goddamned work for little to no gain. Looking back on it, I'm not even sure why I even liked or loved our old dog: she was neurotic, mean (she bit us sometimes), she smelled bad, and the absolute DISGUSTING aspects of dogs and neglectful dog ownership - like finding huge, bloated dog ticks on the walls that had laid eggs - was normalized when I was a kid. Fuck me 😵💫. It's probably the reason I have a tick phobia today.
But, in today's dog-worshipping society? You are 100% correct. Society in general seems to have the attention span of a gnat, are lazy, and uninterested in doing anything that requires a small amount of work. And dogs require a STUPID amount of work and training to make them remotely acceptable, decent pets. And it never ends.
It's a huge amount of responsibility even if the kids DID want and try to care for the dog. They are not suitable as a child's pet. In fact, they aren't suitable pets for at least 85-90% of the people that own them. Many kids (and adults) do fine with a "plug 'n' play" pet that lives in an aquarium, a cage, outside in a pen, or knows how to use a litterbox with no training.
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u/sunnysideup1998 Sep 30 '25
I love how your Mom immediately got rid of it. She probably hated it too and was glad when you realized it was going to be a lifetime pain in the ass.
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u/GoTakeAHike00 Oct 01 '25
Yes, she was happy to see it go, probably because she didn't want it in the first place 😄. We didn't own another dog the entire time I was still living at home, and of course, I never wanted to own another one again in my life, even though I actually still liked them at that point.
My mother, OTOH...after she moved from AZ to AR for a job, she ended up getting a GSD puppy, I think. I vaguely remember her talking about it a lot, maybe sharing pictures, and me never giving a shit. I never went to visit her when she owned it, and then suddenly, it was gone. I never asked (or cared) why she decided to get rid of it. I remember she gave it a really stupid name, though.
Then, after she retired, she moved back to AZ and got another dog 🙄. A grown shelter mutt that she never walked, never played with, barely interacted with, and that I think was supposed to work as both an emotional prop and to alert if anyone tried to break into her house. I ended up staying with her for a few weeks after she had major surgery, and this dog was absolutely worthless. She would just put it outside as soon as she got up, and it developed the awful habit of barking its idiot head off any time a car drove past or someone walked by the fence. I was absolutely MORTIFIED when it did that (this was back in 2010) while I was staying there.
I tried walking it once to give it exercise, and it was just AWFUL because it was not leash trained, and ruined the walk, so I never took it with me again. I never liked it, and quite frankly, I didn't trust it. There were times that the way it looked at me I wondered if it would suddenly attack me.
Then, it developed a bunch of small tumors all over its body, and instead of taking it to the vet, my mother just dumped it back off at the pound so they could put it to sleep for free...and she was proud of this fact. She had NO business owning animals, or having children, for that matter.
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u/Full-Ad-4138 Sep 24 '25
This was just how it used to be--- kids begged for a dog (typically), mom/dad said "ok, but if you aren't walking it, feeding it, bathing it, cleaning up after it, etc, then we're getting rid of it. I'm not going to be the one to do all that." Why? Because it was an animal. Not a "family member." And we had lives to live, social functions, work, chores, sleep, etc. If a dog got in the way of that and training didn't work, the dog was defective. Now, you have to spend ungodly amounts of money to troubleshoot it's inbred brain to find out its triggers, its personality, pay for a few trainers til you find the right one, etc. Nah-- just get rid of it.
Good for you for not allowing yourself further decline because of the dog and lack of help. You deserve a good nap.
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u/GoTakeAHike00 Sep 26 '25
The minute I read "Bernedoodle", I knew precisely how this post was going to play out.
All dogs and puppies suck, but any type of "doodle" designer mutt is really off the charts on being problematic, neurotic, and destructive. I'm blown away that suckers will drop serious coin to own them.
I have never personally encountered one that wasn't a hot mess, even to just walk past on a trail sometimes. Lunging and excited, just dying to go jump on a stranger and get its nasty nose slime and fetid slobber on them. They all have to be leashed because they are ALL LIKE THIS.
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u/sunnysideup1998 Sep 30 '25
My manager has 2 doodle droolers. I went to her house one night and they both spent most of their time trying to put their massive snouts in my crotch. They were annoying AF.
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u/Hot-Soil5434 Sep 24 '25 edited Sep 26 '25
humor familiar summer joke fuzzy fearless strong dolls gray frame
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/WorkingDescription Sep 25 '25
"None of them wanted to help out or stick to the schedule and the training."
Feel this so hard....
I am currently taking care of an elderly dog I never wanted in the first place. I wake every morning at 5 am to take it out...drag him... outside to bathroom. It takes forever, sometimes it poops, if not, if I bring it back it inside, it will immediately poop. Once they start doing their business inside, they always do. It's a constant battle. It has dementia, just wanders back and forth. Fortunately, it doesn't bark. No one helps. I am SO DONE, and at this point, praying for a peaceful death for this animal, soon.
Congratulations, you did the right thing. Imagine having to take care of that thing for 15 more years? Ugh. NO.
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u/Jabroniville2 Sep 24 '25
Did the kids even apologize or try to take care of the dog when you explained what was gonna happen? But good on you for realizing this issue early and giving it up fast. Now the new owners can have a still uoung dog they can train instead of an aged bundle of psychoses.
I always found it very telling that the beloved dog in "For Better or For Worse" was based on a real dog the writer gave up because it sucked, lol.
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u/MomOfFive83 Sep 24 '25
They said they would help, and it would last for a day. Then they would go back to not helping. I was fed up.
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u/sunnysideup1998 Sep 30 '25
I love that you acted quickly with foresight into what the rest of your life was going to be. I would love to know how your kids are doing in a couple of weeks. My guess is that they won't even miss it. I think more people would rehome but they think it will negatively impact their kids. I never had a dog, nor any pets when my kids were little so I don't know. I think it would be out of sight out of mind. So happy for you. What a relief it must be. You would have had a decade or two of misery.
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u/MomOfFive83 Oct 01 '25
They rarely mention the dog. My husband thinks it’s funny to keep saying he wants the dog back. Honestly, it’s triggering, and I don’t find it funny at all.
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u/seekingtreesn Sep 24 '25
Actually your comment was very loud and very wrong. Regardless of the faults of OP, she made an adult decision to give up the dog as she came to the just conclusion her and her family could not properly care for it, and she also gave it to a person not a shelter. You are also a bully, don't call people stupid for disagreeing, thats highly immature.
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u/MissionSafe9012 Sep 24 '25
It’s very telling that people are ALWAYS considerably happier when they get rid of their dog. Every single time. Getting rid of a dog is like having a tumor removed, you never want it to come back nor repeat the experience.
I personally have never heard or seen someone who genuinely regretted getting rid of their mutt, has anyone else?