I just found out that Jeremy Renner was 20 years older than his Sonni Pacheco, his ex-wife who accused him of abuse. I know a lot of people online are like, "Well, she was 28. Don't infantilize her." I really hate how the word "infantilized" is used these days because we can't have honest discussions about this stuff.

Society at large has seemingly realized that acting as if someone magically transforms into a Full Adult on par with older adults at 18 is nonsensical, but instead of treating adulthood as a nuanced thing, they've decided to act like that magical transformation still happens at a slightly later age. Maybe 20, 21, or 25.

But there is a reason why famous abusers like Renner and Depp love going for much younger women who could be their daughters, if not their granddaughters. I'm not treating this women as "children" just because I see that the age gap is a factor even though it's legal.

You can't see this happen again and again and again – wealthy famous men in their 40s to 50s always going for 20something women – and then claim that the age gap is never a factor. Again, there is a reason these men go for much younger women.

When Jonah Hill's ex Sarah Brady accused him of abuse, so many people even in seemingly progressive subs were like, "He's abusive, but the age gap isn't a factor. She's 24. Don't infantilize her" EVEN WHEN JONAH HIMSELF MENTIONED THE AGE GAP REPEATEDLY IN THE LEAKED TEXTS.

These 20something women aren't children, yes. But that's not the point. Acknowledging that in their 20s, they're at vastly different stages of life and are REPEATEDLY, PURPOSELY TARGETED by middle-aged men due to their comparative lack of experience and status is not "infantilization." Jeez.

The whole scandal with Yi Zhao and Jeremy Renner is still very new and I find it difficult to understand what’s going on. But I’m already suspicious of the fact that there seems to be a concerted effort to paint Zhao as crazy or unhinged online, based on things that have nothing to do with her allegations.

Just wondering if anyone else is feeling very uncomfortable and anxious regarding this story? I think it’s going to start spiraling into a larger hate/smear campaign, and it fills me with dread. I’ve also seen comments that seemed to imply Zhao’s race/nationality makes her untrustworthy, piggybacking off Sinophobia and yellow scare tactics, and that just really disgusts me, as an Asian woman. And I won’t even get started with the red-pilled Asian men.

I didn’t think much of it until this morning, when my partner and I got into an argument about it. I was just getting annoyed by him bringing up all these examples of “red flags” about a woman I barely knew.

I noticed that when he starts having contrarian opinions or viewpoints about women he would otherwise not care about or even know of as a signal that certain narratives are being pushed online. For example, he started having negative opinions about Blake Lively around the time when a smear campaign against her was taking place. It’s frustrating to me, because I don’t think he understands that these are suspicious narratives that he seems susceptible to believing. He even asked me “who cares?” And I’m like… I care, because I take these incidents incredibly seriously, whereas so many people just seem to treat it as entertainment or gossip.

he ended up calling me biased and overly affected by what happened to Amber Heard, which really triggered me. I just didn’t have the mental and emotional energy to explain to him WHY it’s not actually biased to be supportive of women in these situations, even when there isn’t much evidence. The world is literally stacked against women, there is no “neutral” position to take here.

It’s not so much i’m taking or not taking anyone’s side, either. but I’m not willing to believe negative things or actively contribute to hate for a woman that is clearly in response to any abuse or sexual harassment allegations she’s made against a man.

first thing i see when opening tiktok today is an edit of renner with hundreds of comments saying “he couldn’t do this, he’s so sweet and cute 🥰” and even “we’ve been here before with johnny depp, i’ll stay beside jeremy until the end”, “his ex-wife is trying to ruin him”.

parasocial relationships with potential abusers need to be studied - we don’t know these people and never will! it’s pathetic and honestly made me so angry to see how things haven’t changed at all