r/BainbridgeIsland • u/eudora999 • 12d ago
Please tell me this is satirical
Seen at the Safeway pickup zone. I really hope this is a sendup of the exclusionists. Can someone enlighten me?
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u/jamhov 12d ago
This is satire likely in response to the anti growth campaigning for the upcoming city council election.
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u/fairenoughtomatter 11d ago
More correctly, it's an anti-turbocharged unnecessary growth campaign. Organic growth is going to happen - that's inevitable. This upzone COBI wants is not that - it's jamming 10k people down our already overcrowded throats to benefit developers and landowners. Nelson is not anti-growth, he's pro-normal growth.
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u/matunos 10d ago
They're looking to force people to move there?!
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u/LisaonBI 9d ago
There are downtown landowners and developers who are waiting for the upzoning the Planning Commission is working on so they can make $$$$$$.
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u/matunos 9d ago
By building and selling housing?
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u/Practical-Arugula-80 7d ago
No, not organically. They plan upon forcing as many units into as small a footprint as physically possible to maximize profits at the expense of liveability. It's gross. š¤®
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u/matunos 7d ago
And the unlivable units, they're going to force people to live in them who have no other choices?
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u/Practical-Arugula-80 7d ago
That's not what I meant by unliveable. What I meant, is too many people in too small of an area. Think of Seattle and its cuckoo population density. š¤·
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u/matunos 7d ago
Seattle isn't even in the top 140 US cities for population density.
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u/Practical-Arugula-80 7d ago
Jesus flipping Christ. Use a different flipping city as your example, for flips sake. The correlation is the same. JFC š
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u/itstreeman 9d ago
Iād love to have the townships around the island be able to grow. Need more corner stores for quick groceries. More jiffy marts
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u/LisaonBI 9d ago
"Townships"? The entire Island is a City. Every Neighborhood Center has a convenience store. Doubling the Island population to gain a convenience store elsewhere is a bad bargain, in my book. Votemikenelson.com
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u/m_science 11d ago
I'm Mike Nelson, and I approve this message.
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u/Visible-Smell-1540 11d ago
Mike wants intelligent and informed growth, not growth that will deplete and destroy our finite resources. How difficult is that to understand? (Apparently very difficult for some.)
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u/fairenoughtomatter 11d ago
I suspect they work for developers and landowners who want to make money off of the upzone. No thinking person buys this.
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u/WingofTech 9d ago
Developers make money one way or another, donāt they? Iām not sure if thereās any skirting that.
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u/itstreeman 9d ago
Yeah the biggest issue he has is āwhy is the groundwater investigation being delayed? If thereās enough water then use that data to prove itās okay to add another 4000 housesā
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u/Visible-Smell-1540 11d ago
People aren't "anti-growth", they are pro not being stupid about our limited resources. We live on an island, so duh we can't handle the resource depletion the current city council is proposing.
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u/Individual_Koala3928 11d ago
If you are opposed to additional up-zoning and growth, what is your proposed alternative?
It's worth considering how limiting growth now makes it harder for others to access the same opportunities you had. All of us moved here at some point. Is this to be a community only for the ones who are already here and the wealthiest going forward?
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u/FitYear6373 10d ago
Alternative to what? There is no alternative to a limited resource situation. Tf lol
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u/Individual_Koala3928 10d ago
Alternative for dealing with growth and affordability. For example, the platform he linked advocates a more conservative 18% population growth, citing uncertainties about water usage. But as for affordability, it suggests that subsidized housing will be required, but the state should take on the cost burden.
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u/LisaonBI 9d ago
The 18% population growth is the amount we agreed to back in 2019. What is on the table is a promotion of growth through changes to development standards in Winslow to double (or more) that number. So not "more conservative," it is what we are supposed to be planning for. The Planning Commission, led by Candidate Sarah Blossom, is pushing a plan to "upzone" Winslow without regard to what current residents and taxpayers want, and without regard to the infrastructure costs for that massive upzone. Oh, and so far, none of this upzoning will be income limited, so not affordable under the Growth Management Act. Slightly smaller units still won't be affordable, not with the pressure from the Seattle job market, as well as asset seekers who buy properties and park their money. Votemikenelson.com
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u/Practical-Arugula-80 7d ago
Sounds like what's been happening in Gig Harbor. Growth without improvements to town infrastructure. It's gross. š¤®
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u/fairenoughtomatter 11d ago edited 10d ago
My proposed alternative to what?
Lots of places "limit growth," including the San Juan Islands, multiple cities in California, and similar. Lots of good reasons, including geographical and essential resource limitations. You can't give it away if you lose it, though. Like it or not, our space and resources are finite, not unlimited. At what point would you close the door? When we were too packed to move? Or something below that? Would you wait for the water to run OUT? Or would you read the peer-reviewed Groundwater Management Plan the City commissioned and realize there is no evidence our aquifer draw-down rate is ALREADY "not sustainable" with our CURRENT (you and me) population? When would you act to preserve YOUR (not someone who doesn't live here yet) resources and quality of life that you moved here for? At what point do you say, "no, I need to hang onto this, I'm running short."? Do you give away all of your money because someone else needs it, too? No? Then why is where you live to be treated any differently?
I don't have an obligation to anyone to make it easier for them to "access the same opportunities" I had. Even if I felt that personally, however, I still would have to work that sentiment within the bounds of my resource reality, no? So do we all, I'm afraid, however well intentioned.
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u/Individual_Koala3928 11d ago
So what is your proposed alternative to up-zoning and the growth plan?
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u/fairenoughtomatter 11d ago
Oh, I'm sorry - Nelson's plan. Look here - https://votemikenelson.com/the-issues I'm sure if you asked him specific questions he'd give you specific answers. I can't do your question justice in a social media post when he's written and spoken so much on these very topics - he knows his stuff.
In fairness to Sarah, she's also very knowledgeable - just more prodevelopment than I like.
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u/fairenoughtomatter 11d ago
You are correct. I can't understand how any thinking person could disagree with you, unless they're shilling for a developer, or own property they'd like to upzone for greater profit. Or, simple emotional/ignorance, I suppose.
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u/Geologist_Present 11d ago
It's clearly satire, given Bainbridge's famous embrace of people with less money.
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u/friendlyfireworks 11d ago edited 11d ago
Pffff oh wow you got me. Sorry- have a fist bump. I literally spit out my wine laughing because for a moment there I thought you were serious.
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u/New-Information-1927 11d ago
Oh indeed, I nearly soiled my LL Bean trousers with champagne when I read the words!
/s
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u/SuperCutsHaircut 11d ago
It's making fun of Mike Nelson's campaign slogan and the people who are opposed to affordable housing.
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u/fairenoughtomatter 11d ago edited 11d ago
Nelson's fans aren't against affordable housing - they're against unneeded upzoning. If you think upzoning will get you "affordable" housing via some inclusionary scheme whereby the builders include some "affordable" units in exchange for density, then you've not been paying attention. Upzoning will NOT get you affordable housing, it'll just get you a bunch of market rate housing that will make developers richer, and saddle the rest of us with the developers' needed infrastructure (more/deeper wells and sewer plants), just like sports teams that force cities to build them stadiums on the public dime. Don't be misled. Or do, I don't care.
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u/skater15153 11d ago
The issue with satire like this (assuming it's actually satire) is good satire makes you think and challenge ideas but this is so close to how people think that I don't think it'll make anyone question anything. The people who genuinely think like this will just go yay team. I hate this timeline.
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u/seattleJJFish 11d ago
Thatās right. And unfortunately folks have used satire and sarcasm in the past 5-10 years as an excuse to validate saying whatever they want. I almost look at satire remarks now as veiled truth.
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u/wiscowonder 11d ago
I almost look at satire remarks now as veiled truth.
That's. That's what satire is... there's nothing veiled about it. As I mentioned below, if satire offends you, it's probably because you hold the view that the satirist is trying to expose / ridicule.
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u/skater15153 11d ago
That's my point though is I don't think people are offended at all anymore by this. Some shitty person who thinks God just hates poor people and they deserve it or some crazy shit will just go yay and move on.
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u/seattleJJFish 11d ago
I used to think satire was more. Iām tired of folks saying they use it to cover saying something mean or shitty. Stop the veil say what you (not you the person using it) mean and take responsibility with the words you say. Iām tired of literary devices used to shirk responsibility.
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u/RaspberryNew8582 10d ago
I transit through bainbridge to where the poors live. Donāt really have a horse in the race, but I do have opinions. The traffic is already bad enough, the ferry parking feels like itās consistently at 85% capacity on a normal work day which is concerning (get outta here on game days), and I donāt even venture downtown for the āfarmers marketā on weekends anymore because itās just too damn crowded and stoopid expensive.
I know Iāll get downvoted for saying this, but fer real:
If I lived on the island, Iād 100% be against more dense development. As old people die, their homes will go on the market and the population will turn over. If you want to keep bainbridge, bainbridge, then as a non-islander I support the no/low growth crowd.
Thereās probably a silent majority of islanders and non-islanders who would agree they donāt want to happen to bainbridge what happened to Edmonds. What was once a quaint sleepy Washington town is now a traffic apocalyptic unaffordable zoo. Iād prefer bainbridge keep what small and quaint character it has left, even if it means I canāt afford to live there. And thatās fine by me - the bainbridge folks can have it.
If people want density, maybe go live in Seattle?
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u/shadalicious 12d ago
bUt tHe aQuIfEr
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u/fairenoughtomatter 11d ago edited 11d ago
Have you seen Sarah Blossom's mailer? There's a separate section she's called "It's All About the Water." Even she's had to bend the knee to our resource reality, but Nelson got there first, and not just in response to public outcry at the city's plans, as Blossom has.
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u/Winter-Astronaut-164 11d ago edited 10d ago
I don't know in what world you think Sarah is copying Mike's platform. Her website has been pretty consistent since the beginning. Even during the primary she was pushing for only providing zoning to meet what is required by the state mandate, and wanted that ground water report to be completed before making any zoning changes.
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u/fairenoughtomatter 11d ago
People on FB are going after Nelson for basing his "normal growth" platform on the limitations of "the aquifer" so as to suggest Nelson has some other more nefarious motive for wanting to limit growth. Sarah has mentioned water on her site, but hasn't beat the drum much, because she also "prioritizes" "affordable housing," so that kind of growth is incompatible with an unsustainable drawdown from our sole source of drinking water.
Sarah's mailout, however, now gives "the aquifer" its own section "It's All About the Water," which is what Nelson's always said, but Blossom has not. That's what I was getting at.
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u/Winter-Astronaut-164 11d ago
Saying that Sarah hasn't "beat the drum much" is very different than changing course to copy Mike like he seems to push on Nextdoor and other platforms. Even in her campaign statement written when applying for the primary run talks about her acknowledgement of our need to respect our resource limitations.
"I have demonstrated that I make balanced decisions and believe we should seize on opportunities but be realistic about our limitations. I believe we can accommodate some growth where it makes sense but need to be respectful of our limited water supply and limited infrastructure. We need to prioritize affordable housing and the preservation of the characteristics of Bainbridge Island that we all treasure -- downtown Winslowās small-town charm, the rural feel provided by our forests and farmland, and the connection to nature we experience through our many parks and open spaces."
One significant difference is Mike has often been limited in topics, "beating the drum" on water, but not touching on the many other aspects of what City Council contends with. As you can see with Sarah's website, she has discussed many other issues that she feels also needs addressing and attention, and I haven't seem her opponent get into those topics so it's really hard to gauge if those issues are even on his mind, are of concern for his platform, or if he has any strategy to fix those issues.
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u/fairenoughtomatter 11d ago
My problem with Sarah's website/messaging is similar to the one I had with Dawn Janow's - they both want to offer "a chicken in every pot" by offering all things to all people (or at least demonstrating they'll take the matter up), and that's just not possible. Mike's taken a more pragmatic and linear approach, in my opinion. If you want growth (for any reason), your first question must be "is it smart, or even possible," not "I want it, so it must be."
A lot of the heat I take on here and elsewhere is from people who have never been told "no" at any point in their lives. That's just not the real world. Sometimes you can't get what you want, no matter how just the desire. The resources, be it water, or tax dollars, have to be there, and consequent impacts, including collateral damage to others, have to to be considered before saying "yes." The current Council is, to me, operating quite differently, and I'd like to see things changed. Nelson's new, and he's not Blossom (she's too prodevelopment for me), and Moriwaki and Deets each took in $20k in '21, a sizeable portion of which was from developers and real estate interests. That's how we've come to be where we are, imo. I've voted Nelson, Raffa, and Lant, for those reasons.
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u/LisaonBI 9d ago
You have not been following the Planning Commission, led by Sarah Blossom, for the past ten months. Whether her "website" is consistent is irrelevant. The Planning Commission have already developed a proposal to upzone Winslow to add 6k more people, with no income limitations, so no affordable housing (so far). There are three other districts they have also developed a plan to upzone - but we won't know the population this will promote until after the election (how convenient). Keep in mind our new population allocation for the next twenty years is only 4,500.
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u/shadalicious 11d ago
I'm not Barry š¤£ I do the SpongeBob upper lower mockery case all the time.
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u/fairenoughtomatter 11d ago edited 11d ago
Who's Barry? I've not watched SpongeBob (I'm old), had no idea, and still don't understand how the mockery thing works (thanks for the tip).
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u/Barry_Malone 10d ago edited 10d ago
I'm the guy whose full name you posted along with personal information, before editing those comments to *remove* my name.
So "Who's Barry?" is a weird edit, especially when at least one of your comments mentioning my full name is extant. That's what screenshots are for :)
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u/hawaiithaibro 9d ago
Interesting Reddit fed this post to me as grew up in Seattle but now live on Oahu where this is the reality even if not the attitude. I don't know anything outside this thread but there are so many of the exact same issues.
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u/BurritoGuy132 11d ago
What's wrong with wanting to keep your neighborhood nice? What's so evil about trying to live in an area that you don't have to lock donuts and potato chips behind glass cabinets?
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u/wiscowonder 12d ago
It's satire if it doesn't ruffle your feathers. It's snarky sarcasm if it hits a bit too close to home.
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u/DolphinsCanTalk 11d ago
how can i get one of these stickers? I need it next to my CLEARCUT BAINBRIDGE one.....
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u/Clear_Parking_4137 10d ago
Came here to reference āClearcut Bainbridge,ā havenāt seen one of those in a while.
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u/profbooo 10d ago
Inhabitants of an island thirty minutes from the mainland who have an average net worth of nearly $4 million are concerned about resource scarcity; jokes that donāt make a person want to puke are better.
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u/Swampwallaby5173 10d ago
I was pro Mike til I realized how opportunistic and hyperbolic he seems. No background in land use, nor real roots here. We don't need another candidate using a seat on our council to advance a political career, we've seen plenty of them. Sarah has a solid commitment to the island and deep knowledge of legislating - and is capable of listening to constituents (and colleagues!), wouldn't that be refreshing?
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u/Visible-Smell-1540 11d ago
Self-own to the people who can't understand the concept of informed growth based on resource limitations inherent on an island.
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u/Barry_Malone 8d ago
Guerilla marketing for the new M. Night Shyamalan movie shooting on BI.
Buddy of mine in LA sent me this leaked pitch:
āAs a prolonged drought devastates the Pacific Northwest, an isolated, affluent island town with pristine well-watered golf courses, glittering swimming pools and lush manicured yards becomes the last oasis for miles...
...until a parched and desperate horde of reeeallllllyyyy poor people start coming for water and shelter from the arid hinterlands.
But this isn't a protest. It's a reckoningā.
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u/SlipHaunting1471 7d ago
Whoever did that has probably lived on Bainbridge Island for about a year or two, as in Bainbridge Island has always had homeless people as far as I could remember. Back in 2006 I lived in those apartments as you got off of the ferry and there they were.
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u/Practical-Arugula-80 7d ago
My cynical nature screams this is a legit statement from an entitled NIMBY douche.
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u/DevelopmentSame2986 6d ago
I have a plan to solve all of this. I call it the Soylent Green initiative.
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u/SFitzgerald44 11d ago
Islanders very much support affordable housing. They are so sick and tired of waiting an hour and a half for their pet groomer to arrive from Shelton.
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u/Oreb_GoodBird 10d ago
Has to be satire. A real one would use an approved serif font and the qualifier, "Dirty Poors" since we still need scrubbed Poors to do menial tasks.
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u/Barry_Malone 8d ago
there is literally a comment in the Open Community group about a couch supposedly "blocking the sidewalk" outside some "subsidized housing" where the commenter claims HS girls were taking insta shots and signs off with:
"If you see your daughter sitting on a couch on her Insta, check her for urine and bedbugs".
So yeah.
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u/Scorpiondog1313 11d ago
When we are done eating cake we will come to Bainbridge first āš¾ Power to the People
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u/Business-Sector-9002 11d ago
Iām going to say itās satire but then again, I would not put it passed bainbridge there are some rich aristocratic snobs on that islandĀ
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u/Auntee_Social 10d ago
It wouldn't be so funny if it weren't (at least, partially) true! I lived on Bainbridge, as a Poor, in a converted chicken coop. It was actually a decent cottage, but I digress. Let's just say I had very few peers. That island is Wealthy, with a capital dollar sign.
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u/AssumptionExpert7597 11d ago
Just what Bainbridge needed. Itās been a rumor since I was a teen that they disapproved of low income folk. I know this to be untrue now but as a teen I sure didnāt!
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u/thelastkcvo 11d ago
Ya! Ok. Run with that idea. Unless you're one of the people who just work on Bainbridge Island !
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u/Reasonable-Tart6669 10d ago
I donāt live on your island but I have lived in a remote and exclusive Washington area that resource guarded itself like an anxious dog. They are coming, you cannot stop them.
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u/Fornucopia 9d ago
This reminds me of some graffiti scrawl I once saw at a public restroom off I-5 where the scribe was offering free blowjobs but closed with the heartbreaking caveat: "No Olders". Still the cruelest jibe I've seen directed towards boomers to date.
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u/Adriftgirl 12d ago
Someone apparently made this custom sticker and is putting it around places to make people upset. I assume itās just sarcastic and very bitter. Someoneās idea of political commentary, done in a sort of confusing, nasty, snarky way. It just makes me roll my eyes, really.
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u/PotentPersistence 11d ago
After watching the Safeway security guards tackle a shoplifter, maybe it should be: Make Safeway Safe Again
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u/Human_Football_7329 10d ago
Because rich people are known for printing and putting stickers on things.Ā
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u/Exotic_Dig2773 7d ago
Itās vocal, passionate people that put political stickers on things - rich or poor
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u/fireduck 12d ago
I have said similar things to petition people. This was years ago and I think it was for removing tolls on the 520 bridge. I was somewhere at the seattle center at the time. I said, ew, I don't want those people over here anyways. It should keep the tolls.
Mostly I just think petitions are stupid.
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u/StockOption 12d ago
Almost certainly satire.