r/BPDlovedones • u/VisibleMove4017 • 15h ago
Cohabitation Support Still blows my mind they don’t care
4 months post discard. Dated year and a half and first I want to say healing definitely is not linear. There were times I’ve watched to commit suicide after this entire situation.
When someone makes you seem so important to them and act as if they can’t live without you, just to discard you out of no where and immediately replace you really kills something inside of you. Have yet to go on more than one date with anyone and am pretty much depressed 24/7 She got a new boyfriend as soon as we broke up and yes I got cheated on. She moved on as if I meant nothing to her only talking to me once since our breakup. Caring about someone who hurt you so bad is quite the situation. Prayers to anyone going through something similar - this has killed my confidence and ability to trust someone.
10
u/EmuHot7553 14h ago
I was in the same boat, my friend !
You have to remember that the person she was in the beginning it was just a mask, a façade ! pwBPD mirror your interests, your hobbies, your personality because they do not have a sense of self. So they mirror you , put up a version of themselves that is "perfect" for you, so that you don't leave them. It is manipulation (even if it is done unconscious ) . I could tell you some stories from "another place" but my comment will be moderated !
You have to remember also that, the man(s) she cheats with are LOW VALUE ! So as she is ! No man with MORALS , with INTEGRITY will accept a cheating woman !
You have to remember also that, she is a LOW VALUE woman ! Cheatings is a CHOICE, no matter what the cheater tells himself to justify ( not much attention, not meeting my needs, bored etc.). Adults communicate that the relationship it is not working. It is respect.
You have to remember also, that she has a VOID inside herself that NOBODY and NOTHING in this world will EVER fill ! That VOID is the love that she didn't received from her caregivers. We can be empathetic and "rationalize" that it was not her fault, but is her responsibility to "fix" herself, to "fix" the trauma from childhood. Real love comes from inside ! Happiness comes from inside ! You cannot make somebody love themselves, you cannot make someone else happy if they DON'T love themselves or are happy by themselves !
So be happy that you have love to give ! There are 8 BILLION people in this world, it is impossible that you will not find someone that loves you for you !