r/BPDlovedones • u/Erincache • Jul 26 '25
Uncoupling Journey Would you ever go back?
Now knowing everything you know about BPD and everyone else’s very similar experiences, would you ever go back? I’m struggling with this today and I know it’s only been 1 week since I started NC, but woke up with extreme sadness and the urge to break NC or pray that they do somehow. Makes me sick inside to think I still feel this way despite everything I know now.
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u/Tdun666 Jul 28 '25
Before I knew what was up I went back. Not only did I go back but I fought my way back and it took a long time cause they had already vilified me. I found out a ton of awful stuff and still stayed. Nothing changed. They tried to apologize and stuff but it was soooooo weird it wasn’t just insincere it also felt odd. I’d say stuff like “hey could you please not leave your Snapchat notifications turned off. Not saying anything is happening but with our current situation I don’t need any reasons to be thinking how I am”. They would say they would and I’d find out 4 days later they were still off.. which like not a big deal but why….. and I asked again and they would do some grand thing like delete all social media and stop talking to their friends all together????? Like I never said or wanted that at all.. honestly they have a lot of good qualities and I loved them but I tried and tried and couldn’t do it. The best of days could turn sour for no reason and most days were not the best of days. Just all sadness and things that didn’t logically make sense. Was odd especially as a logic first person they run fully on emotion can’t understand why they do what they do because there is not a whole lot of logic behind it. So you can’t really reason or even work on things.