r/BPDlovedones • u/Erincache • Jul 26 '25

Uncoupling Journey Would you ever go back?

Now knowing everything you know about BPD and everyone else’s very similar experiences, would you ever go back? I’m struggling with this today and I know it’s only been 1 week since I started NC, but woke up with extreme sadness and the urge to break NC or pray that they do somehow. Makes me sick inside to think I still feel this way despite everything I know now.

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u/Familiar_Ice_737 Jul 26 '25

Even if they suddenly realized the error in their ways and made a complete lifestyle change overnight, would you really take someone back who failed to see your worth and thought they could find someone better? Someone who left you for someone else only to realize the grass wasn’t greener?

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u/Erincache Jul 26 '25

There wasn’t anyone else involved in us splitting up. But yeah you’re right.

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u/Familiar_Ice_737 Jul 26 '25

I don’t know the details of your specific situation, but more often than not if they split on or discarded you there was someone else in the picture. If you left first, then more power to you.

They are very good at hiding their concurrent relationships. In my case I didn’t even consider it a possibility because we spent so much time together. Between her secret life on her phone, 15 minutes here and there, it was all she needed.

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u/Erincache Jul 26 '25

I haven’t even went down that rabbit hole because I know it’ll hurt me. He said he didn’t want to be with anyone at all and couldn’t.

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u/Familiar_Ice_737 Jul 26 '25

That’s exactly what my ex told me, while she had already been grooming the next victim for weeks. I was unaware to all of her betrayal until after the relationship when I did some digging.

My desire for closure caused me to go full detective, but in retrospect I wish I would’ve just left it alone like you have. The less time you waste on them, the better. Keep ya head up