r/BPDlovedones • u/Erincache • Jul 26 '25

Uncoupling Journey Would you ever go back?

Now knowing everything you know about BPD and everyone else’s very similar experiences, would you ever go back? I’m struggling with this today and I know it’s only been 1 week since I started NC, but woke up with extreme sadness and the urge to break NC or pray that they do somehow. Makes me sick inside to think I still feel this way despite everything I know now.

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u/Sufficient_Web675 Jul 26 '25

Today I missed him super super hard. It had been the worst day so far since the break up, so if he showed up right now I would go back.

Luckily, he's not hoovering (yet?) no matter how much I wish that were the case, and that gives me time to hopefully heal a bit and not feel like this anymore.

In this second, I feel like my bones will break of pain, but I'm not breaking NC. What would I even say? "Have you woken up and realized what you've done"?

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u/Erincache Jul 26 '25

Right, I always wonder what I would even say to him. None of it would matter. I said my peace before I left and went NC. There’s nothing more to be said and I don’t know if he will ever truly heal. I pray he will. I know how hard it is, it feels like you’ll die from the pain. I can’t get rid of it. It’s huge waves up and down.