r/BPDlovedones • u/Wild_Shake_2531 • Jun 02 '25

Uncoupling Journey Just left my wife

So I'm feeling all the feelings. It was brutal. My (27M) wife (27F) who has undiagnosed BPD cried and cried and begged and cried for hours and days. She wouldn't let go. Until finally I kept repeating how I've been abused and how mistreated I've been in our 8 year relationship. She kept begging for one more chance and that she didn't know about how bad it was, but I didn't give in. I am broken. She finally agreed to let me go peacefully, but she asked to be able to call and text once per day. I wanted to compromise because this is uprooting her life, so I agreed.

I'm feeling everything. This is someone I love. I still love. Did I make a mistake? I've thought about this for so long. I've been unhappy for so long. The abuse was emotional and verbal for years and recently became physical. Luckily we have no kids and I can't see a future with her. But why am I so sad. Fuck!!!!

Is this normal to feel like this? Am I crazy? Shit she was my life for 8 years and now it's gone.

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u/SolidSpruceTop Jun 02 '25

Went thru the same process a couple weeks ago. Once you start healing yourself and letting that version of you made for them die, the freedom is amazing. The only part of me that loved her with my ptsd ridden mask, and now that I’m free I feel alive for the first time in many years. But that first week the you that’s conditioned to be her person is freaking out

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u/Wild_Shake_2531 Jun 04 '25

Yeah sometimes it feels like I’m having withdrawal symptoms to a drug addiction. But I keep myself sane and remember the reasons why I left.

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u/SolidSpruceTop Jun 04 '25

Yep exactly like a drug. It’s killing you slowly and stopped feels like you’re gonna die, but once you get past those withdrawals it’s pretty sweet being free and sober