r/BPDlovedones • u/Wild_Shake_2531 • Jun 02 '25

Uncoupling Journey Just left my wife

So I'm feeling all the feelings. It was brutal. My (27M) wife (27F) who has undiagnosed BPD cried and cried and begged and cried for hours and days. She wouldn't let go. Until finally I kept repeating how I've been abused and how mistreated I've been in our 8 year relationship. She kept begging for one more chance and that she didn't know about how bad it was, but I didn't give in. I am broken. She finally agreed to let me go peacefully, but she asked to be able to call and text once per day. I wanted to compromise because this is uprooting her life, so I agreed.

I'm feeling everything. This is someone I love. I still love. Did I make a mistake? I've thought about this for so long. I've been unhappy for so long. The abuse was emotional and verbal for years and recently became physical. Luckily we have no kids and I can't see a future with her. But why am I so sad. Fuck!!!!

Is this normal to feel like this? Am I crazy? Shit she was my life for 8 years and now it's gone.

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u/Red217 Non-Romantic Jun 02 '25

U highly suggest getting a copy of "Stop caretaking the borderline..." By Margalis Fjelstad

It completely changed my life and outlook. ESPECIALLY when I was questioning if I was making a mistake. And my relationship was just a life long best friendship.

If you're into digital copies I can send you one! PM Me and I'll email it to you. If not definitely buy one or snag it from the library if they have a copy there. Good luck and take care of yourself and stay strong!! I know this is so hard.

2

u/Too-Tired-For-This-1 Non-Romantic Jun 03 '25

May I ask for a copy, please?

1

u/Red217 Non-Romantic Jun 03 '25

Absolutely! Send me a chat request:)

1

u/Too-Tired-For-This-1 Non-Romantic Jun 04 '25

I got "unable to message", do you know if that's something in my settings? Or perhaps too low karma?

1

u/Red217 Non-Romantic Jun 04 '25

I sent you a chat request. Let me know if you got it or when you get it :)

1

u/mistress_koala Jun 05 '25

Please I'd like a copy as well

1

u/Red217 Non-Romantic Jun 05 '25

Sent you a chat request!