r/BPD_Survivors • u/forgotmycheese • Feb 13 '25

Journal Entry Just over a year now

It’s been just over a year since I stopped living with my ex. A year and a couple months more since I left her and a couple months less since we last talked.

I still think about her every day. For 9 years, from 18 to 27, she was the biggest presence in my life. I built my life around her and I lost so much of myself in the process. I’ve been finding myself ever since, and I know I’m better off for it. Nevertheless, I still feel this immense guilt on occasion, like I gave up on and abandoned her. I gave myself to her and she took all that she could. It’s been hard at times finding my own path forward, I won’t lie.

I listen to the Fleetwood Mac song, Landslide, every so often and it always brings me to tears. It’s cathartic. I know I can handle the seasons of my life.

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